Did she cheat

[Skylarking]

Are these red flags or not?

Wife was on a residential course. I rang after 10.00pm and as she answered the phone I heard a man’s voice. She said her female roommate wanted to watch TV which was broken, and he was there to fix the TV. Never heard him speak again, neither her friend who is a loud demanding woman, nor the TV.

Later when we spoke she claimed no man was there and everything was my imagination. When I reminded her about the TV repairman story she didn’t say a word.

 

Then she went on a ball night for her profession. She danced with a guy many times, she told me he was handsome, he asked her name and he worked in the town where the ball was held. The town is 75miles from our home. The next month she started to visit an expensive hairdresser in the same town 75miles away every 6 weeks.

 

Sometimes during her hair visits it was impossible to get her to the phone. And sometimes she came home around 7pm after her hair visit and she would shower straight away.

 

That spring she already bought new sexy clothes. I asked if for a club, but no, she said they were for work and seminars.

 

When I suggested, in the same spring, to accompany her on her Friday hair dresser visits, she turned my offers down in a strong manner.

On one Friday after returning home she spoke to her ex, who had, she told me, made a joke about her and hotels in the hairdresser town and a friend of his seeing her in the town.

 

Red flags or not?

[Wiseman2]

It's a stretch.

[Honeycomb8]

Yeah sounds like she's cheating. :/

[RedDress]

Well - was her hair actually done when she came back from these visits?

 

Yeah.., something is wrong with this. No one drives 75 miles to get their hair done. Heck! I am looking for a new hairdresser because mine is 10 miles away and it feels too far! lol!

 

She may be cheating, she may not - but unless you live far, far out in the country or something, i would be pressing her hard about these hair appointments. The only thing is that they are only every 6 weeks... so... if she is cheating, it’s not a very passionate relationship... but either way, that’s totally weird and it shouldn’t take her a whole day for a hair appointment.

[1tym]

Same question, you should notice if the hair is done and what was done to it. If it's something that takes a long time you wouldn't go into the shower unless you cover it up. You are going to have to notice everything in detail. If she goes into the shower and doesn't cover up the hair at least for a day or so then it was probably just a cut or something simple that took an hour or so. which means her trip should of only lasted maybe 3 hours including round trip.

 

The cycle of 6 weeks is not overly important. It could be her cover to see another man but it could also be because she likes that place. It could also be because she wants to do both. If it's both then you'll have a hard time really getting anything concrete just by observation.

[catfeeder]

The fact that I didn't trust my spouse would tell me all I'd need to know.

[Skylarking]

The cycle of 6 weeks fits with an affair she had before we met. Meeting a lover once every two months. She still had telephone contact with him 9 years after that affair ended when we started our relationship. She called him a special friend.

By the way, her hair is a little different with a slight change in colour. But I’m no expert on female haircuts!

This behavior stopped last year. Affair over? She now goes to a local hairdresser. She is often a disrespectful flirt and gaslights. Gut feeling is off but I can’t prove anything. Has described her co/worker who she shares a room with on seminars as discrete, why tell me that? and in what way discrete!

All this means I rebuff her words of love and am rather sarcastic, which is not good, I know.

I wanted it to be special, which it was at first, but it has become tainted.