He gets mad when I don't respond in 5 minutes? And more issues. Feeling very t..

[Rosslove405]

My boyfriend and I recently moved out. It was mainly because of us wanting to save money and move in together later after we are both finished with university. It's been going ok. I actually enjoy living without him more. When we lived together, he would go to bed at 5 AM or 7 AM even playing video games and he would wake up late. I am the opposite. I like to wake up early and go to yoga or go for a run or walk my dogs. He always got mad when he woke up and found me gone and just fell asleep again. I feel more happy surrounded by family because they support me more. But the thing that's really bothering me is every morning, he has me call him to wake him up for work. And today I decided not to, because our calls usually don't go anywhere. We have not too much to talk about. And he texted me at 9 45. Then he Facebook messaged me at 9 50 and called me at the exact same time. It gets so frustrating being messaged several times like that. I usually respond within 15 minutes which seems reasonable to me. I shouldn't have to keep looking at my phone and being worried he's gonna get mad at me for not responding right away. And he gets passive aggresive mad. Which makes it worse. I get so much anxiety. I see other couples and they are not like us. They are more comfortable with each other. If I try to be goofy in public he puts me down or whispers cause he's afraid what others think. He always finds a way to make everything about him. I was sad about work and he turned it into an issue about us somehow. I also wanted to start dance and yoga and he yelled at me for not asking for his permission because dance and yoga affects him. But it has nothing to do with him. He says I can leave him and there's better people out there for us. But when we end up trying to break up we never do. I feel tied down and stuck. He is 20 and I'm 23. I have anxiety because of him. He is threatened by everything. He made me delete one of my social media sites where my sister and I like to post funny videos. Nothing bad at all. It's just a bonding thing we do. And he made me get rid of it and I had to lie to her why I got rid of it. How do I get out of this relationship? I'm so attached but I don't even know why anymore. He just makes me physically and mentally sick.

[Seraphim]

He is mentally abusive and controlling. It is time to leave him. Tell your family and have them help you.

[DaisyMayPorter]

This posting made me sick, because it reminded me of my ex. Please leave him immediately. He is emotionally abusive. He should not be in your life. Move out as soon as you can and break all contact with him. I know it’s hard but you can do it. Nobody is allowed to treat you like this.

[Sportster2005]

His behavior sounds controlling and abusive. It's likely to get worse, not better. If he becomes threatening, don't hesitate involving friends, family and the police. He is the problem, not you. Nothing good will come of you staying with this man. Nothing !!

[DanZee]

You're describing a case of emotional abuse. Your boyfriend is using his anger and his childishness to try to control and manipulate you as well as isolate you from your friends and family. You're not able to leave because you're emotionally dependent on him, and he has done his best to create that fear inside you that if you leave you'll never find anybody else. But really, anybody else would probably be nicer than he is. This is a toxic relationship. In addition, these kinds of relationships only get worse. He is doing a good job of crushing your spirit, eroding your self-confidence and destroying your self esteem. Being alone is better than being with this guy. Break up with him before it's too late and you're trapped.

[Wiseman2]

Read up on Red flags for abusive relationships. Signs of controlling relationships. Print out the list you've made here and bring it to a therapist asap. Also start being honest with friends and family about what's going on. Change all your passcodes and passwords. Reset all your social media settings. Block and delete him. Ask family not to talk to him or give him any information about you. Stop lying to family to protect this abuser.

-I actually enjoy living without him more.

-I feel more happy surrounded by family because they support me more.

-I shouldn't have to keep looking at my phone and being worried he's gonna get mad at me for not responding right away.

-I also wanted to start dance and yoga and he yelled at me for not asking for his permission because dance and yoga affects him.

-I feel tied down and stuck.

-I have anxiety because of him.

-He made me delete one of my social media sites

-He just makes me physically and mentally sick.

[DaisyMayPorter]

Yes, please start telling your family what is going on. They need to know so they can help you. I was with an emotionally abusive man for years, I was always afraid to talk to my family but finally I knew I had to leave for myself and my daughter, so I started letting my family in to what was going on and I felt so much better.

[figureitout23]

My boyfriend and I recently moved out. It was mainly because of us wanting to save money and move in together later after we are both finished with university. It's been going ok. I actually enjoy living without him more. When we lived together, he would go to bed at 5 AM or 7 AM even playing video games and he would wake up late. I am the opposite. I like to wake up early and go to yoga or go for a run or walk my dogs. He always got mad when he woke up and found me gone and just fell asleep again. I feel more happy surrounded by family because they support me more. But the thing that's really bothering me is every morning, he has me call him to wake him up for work. And today I decided not to, because our calls usually don't go anywhere. We have not too much to talk about. And he texted me at 9 45. Then he Facebook messaged me at 9 50 and called me at the exact same time. It gets so frustrating being messaged several times like that. I usually respond within 15 minutes which seems reasonable to me. I shouldn't have to keep looking at my phone and being worried he's gonna get mad at me for not responding right away. And he gets passive aggresive mad. Which makes it worse. I get so much anxiety. I see other couples and they are not like us. They are more comfortable with each other. If I try to be goofy in public he puts me down or whispers cause he's afraid what others think. He always finds a way to make everything about him. I was sad about work and he turned it into an issue about us somehow. I also wanted to start dance and yoga and he yelled at me for not asking for his permission because dance and yoga affects him. But it has nothing to do with him. He says I can leave him and there's better people out there for us. But when we end up trying to break up we never do. I feel tied down and stuck. He is 20 and I'm 23. I have anxiety because of him. He is threatened by everything. He made me delete one of my social media sites where my sister and I like to post funny videos. Nothing bad at all. It's just a bonding thing we do. And he made me get rid of it and I had to lie to her why I got rid of it. How do I get out of this relationship? I'm so attached but I don't even know why anymore. He just makes me physically and mentally sick.

 

I'm gonna go rouge here and not blame him completely for the status of your relationship. Normally with these relationships they don't start like this it happens over time, but this guys seems to have always been a mess. Sleeps all day up all night, how on earth did you meet? Thank goodness you are staring to realize this isn't normal and you should break up, but I'd HIGHLY suggest you read up on codependency and try to remain single for a while to work on yourself. You have been a willing participant in all this and I think it will be very helpful to figure out why. This guy sounds like a train wreck and you decided he's boyfriend material. Something to look at.

 

You aren't stuck. This relationship probably did a big number on your self esteem so you feel stuck but you have family go to them for support and get out.

 

I wish you luck on your new journey. Breaking that codependency is not easy and you will probably have emotional scars from this but I promise you once the storm clears you will be so much happier.

[melancholy123]

Good advice from many who posted here, I hope you pay attention and take the advice. This is NOT gong to work. He's abusive and controlling and you should not be living your life that way. There's plenty of nice guys on the planet who would never dream of treating you like that. Get out of there. Go home to your folks and work on straightening out your life and thinking.

 

I'd love to know how dance and yoga can affect him! It has nothing to do with him.

[Rosslove405]

Thank you. I actually just looked up the codependency and it describe's me completely. But I do not want to be like that at all. I feel like a mother to him. I didnt understand why I stay with him if he treats me like this. But now I am starting to. I need to break it off but I am scared because it has been 7 years of him in my life. But I need to listen to all of you guys because I am not happy. And I want someone who will take care of themselves and love me for who I am. Thanks for the response.

[Rosslove405]

He says that I cannot do hip hop because it is sl*utty. And he said I can do ballet and yoga. But I told him that I want to try hip hop because it looks fun for me. And yes I am finally starting to get a bad gut feeling to get out of this relationship. I cannot imagine raising kids with him or even moving back in with him. I really want to get the strength to leave him. And I know I will. I told my mom and she said she would help me get through this

[Rosslove405]

I'm sorry you went thru the same thing I am going through. It is really hard. I am walking eggshells all around him because just being myself will make him angry. I talked to my mom and she will help me she said. I'm just sick of feeling separated from my family. Everytime I hang out with my sister he gets jealous or even when I post a picture of something other then him he gets angry and possessive. And I just see many couples who love and support each other and am realizing it's not my relationship. And I would love to have a supportive relationship. Where my opinions and things that make me happy aren't put down

[melancholy123]

He says that I cannot do hip hop because it is sl*utty. And he said I can do ballet and yoga. But I told him that I want to try hip hop because it looks fun for me. And yes I am finally starting to get a bad gut feeling to get out of this relationship. I cannot imagine raising kids with him or even moving back in with him. I really want to get the strength to leave him. And I know I will. I told my mom and she said she would help me get through this

 

Start packing and move back in with mom, she is on your side. The guy is a jerk.

[SoulTaker]

He says that I cannot do hip hop because it is sl*utty. And he said I can do ballet and yoga. But I told him that I want to try hip hop because it looks fun for me. And yes I am finally starting to get a bad gut feeling to get out of this relationship. I cannot imagine raising kids with him or even moving back in with him. I really want to get the strength to leave him. And I know I will. I told my mom and she said she would help me get through this

 

Sounds good. It sounds like you're young, and still trying to find yourself when it comes to relationships. This is a learning experience, unless you can't find the will power, and maturity to move on (which would then make the situation tragic).