Confused and Frustrated

[Dj2029]

A guy I was dating for 5 months (we never defined the relationship as bf/gf, but it was more than physical) recently ended things saying I had many qualities he was looking for, but didn't see us working out long-term. He is also in the process of deciding what to do with his career and job. I was extremely disappointed and reached out a week later to ask specifically why & what went wrong. I just needed answers for mental closure and my own personal growth. He responded that day saying he "appreciated my note" and "needs 1-2 days to think and respond." It's now been 3 days. What does this all mean? Does he really need time to answer something I would think would be cut and dry? Is he killing time not to hurt my feelings? Is there any hope we still have a chance?

[singingstick]

You know, us women often feel we need closure with these kinds of things. Men do not feel that way. They feel the best way to handle it, is to just stop talking to you or let it be. It doesn't feel good, but it is what it is. Silence in itself is closure. It means he is done talking... there is nothing more for him to say. We often try to see where we went wrong in failed relationships, but the truth is, you didn't neccessariy do anything wrong. You guys just weren't right for each other. Leave it there.

[1a1a]

If you felt like the one for him he would have made it work. It didn’t feel right will be his answer, you don’t need him to tell you that, give yourself the gift of closure and take the lessons there are to learn from meeting this guy and mosey on to the next adventure. (I am sorry it didn’t work out though)

[Hollyj]

What do you mean it was more physical? Did you go out? Meet friends and family?

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately he already explained. What prompted the breakup? Were you asking for long term? It sounds like it was casual all along and he didn't want to string you along with false hope.

A guy I was dating for 5 months recently ended things saying I had many qualities he was looking for, but didn't see us working out long-term.

[bluecastle]

You have to accept is that there is nothing he can offer you that will bring any comfort or closure. What you want is to be together, for him to want you, and what he wants right now is something else. That hurts, inflames the ego, and right now your ego is inflamed. I'm sorry for that pain. I know it well.

 

He has already been honest with you with words, and now he is being honest in silence. Listen to both. If he offered, or in the future offers, some kind of nuanced and caring dissertation of his emotional state it will just bring you to the exact same place you're in now: sad and confused and angry.

 

It's natural to lean to the ex to be the crutch in a breakup. But it's also unhealthy. You have all the strength inside of you to confront what you're feeling, and as you tap into that strength you'll feel better, more whole.

[Lambert]

You have to accept is that there is nothing he can offer you that will bring any comfort or closure. What you want is to be together, for him to want you, and what he wants right now is something else. That hurts, inflames the ego, and right now your ego is inflamed. I'm sorry for that pain. I know it well.

 

He has already been honest with you with words, and now he is being honest in silence. Listen to both. If he offered, or in the future offers, some kind of nuanced and caring dissertation of his emotional state it will just bring you to the exact same place you're in now: sad and confused and angry.

 

It's natural to lean to the ex to be the crutch in a breakup. But it's also unhealthy. You have all the strength inside of you to confront what you're feeling, and as you tap into that strength you'll feel better, more whole.

good points..... nothing will help except time. be patient and feel how you feel and deal with things on your own.

 

breaking up with someone is hard. Being broken up with is hard. what's done is done.... the sooner you get on with your own thoughts and feelings (which a lot to process) and any additional info will just muddy it more.

 

be kind to yourself