Desperately seeking advice

[Bombina101]

It's been a month now and I've begged to no end for my ex boyfriend to give us another chance and he's so cold.i did everything for him and we were always together.we were sooo in love.i made the mistake of writing to an ex whom he is very insecure about over spite and jealousy because he had begun talking to a female friend.it backfired,he found out and immediately broke up with me.now he's basically shut me out entirely saying we are only "friends " and he needs to get his life in order., and "let go and let God".we have hung out 2x since but w no luck of rekindled love.he says to stop making it awkward with my pleading..I know he made a move on another girl too.i can't do no contact cuz I'm afraid of losing him to someone else!!!!help me!!!!im in love with him!!!

[SooSad33]

First.. do NOT be begging after him... etc. That can only push him further away.

 

Second... why are YOU writing an ex.. about anything?

Should he not be history? No longer your concern? Ya, k, this set the Bf off :/.

 

If he made a move on someone new.. let him go. Nothing you can do.

As he has said only friends now? No go. No friendship in order until YOU are over him... no more feelings

or it's just too awkward and messy.

 

You cant stop him from moving on....

If he wants to work on getting back together.. the ball is in his court now.

 

Back off... walk... keep walking. Spen no more emotional effort on him.

Self respect my dear. Dont do stuff you may regret later :/.

[Bombina101]

My ex left me a month ago,and we have stayed in contact,mostly on my part as the dumpee..we've been on off a few times now.ive begged for another chance and he declines saying he has to get his life on track.he has stayed a few nights (sleeping on the couch) but the last time he actually cuddled me in bed for about an hour than a goodbye kiss.of course I got excited and assumed we were going to work through but now he's back to the "friend" zone.i find the NC contact impossible.he knows how I feel and I love him.is there hope?what can I do to win him back for good!?

[ThatwasThen]

No, there is no hope as long as you keep letting him into your life in this demoted state of broken up. You give him zero chance to miss you and by enabling him the way you are, why should he change anything?

[sunshineray]

My ex left me a month ago,and we have stayed in contact,mostly on my part as the dumpee..we've been on off a few times now.ive begged for another chance and he declines saying he has to get his life on track.he has stayed a few nights (sleeping on the couch) but the last time he actually cuddled me in bed for about an hour than a goodbye kiss.of course I got excited and assumed we were going to work through but now he's back to the "friend" zone.i find the NC contact impossible.he knows how I feel and I love him.is there hope?what can I do to win him back for good!?

 

 

I was in the same situation with my ex, and like ThatwasThen said, you need to give him space to miss you. If you are still in very good terms, just be nonchalant with him and do not initiate anything, let him do the chasing. And if he doesn't then it is totally ok and just move on with your life. In my breakup, it took me the longest time to realize that I don't need my ex anymore, especially not rn. We are not going to get back together, and that is totally fine! Because I finally realized my worth, and I don't need negativity and heartache in my life right now!

 

I think that men want what they can't have, so take some time for yourself, do things that you love, improve yourself for you, not him. He will definitely notice and will come back eventually! But when he does, make sure to take things slowly and treat the relationship as new!

[MissCanuck]

Why did he break up with you?

 

At the moment, you're not doing anything but prolonging your own pain. He comes and cuddles and then bounces. That's not fair to you at all, as you can see that the cuddling didn't mean a reconciliation was going to happen.

 

You might find No Contact nearly impossible, but it will hurt more if this keeps up and then he drops the bomb that he's met someone else or some such thing. Stop making yourself so available to him, OP. It's not serving you any benefit at this point.

[MissCanuck]

You can't make someone want to be with you, OP.

 

Begging and pleading kills whatever small chance there might have been. Going to talk to an ex to purposely make him jealous is very childish suggests you're not in the right mindset for a relationship. If you were truly in love with him, you would communicate like an adult and not play games like that. That was a poor choice, as you know now, and you're not helping the situation by tossing away all of your dignity and begging.

[sara-pezzini]

Why ask again a few hours later? That's not allowed here

[Capricorn3]

Threads have been merged.

[catfeeder]

Everything you've described about your behavior is having the opposite impact on ex than you've intended. Have you noticed?

 

I'd be civil to ex whenever our paths cross, but beyond that, I'd fly off of his radar, skip all contact, and let him wonder what I've been up to these days.

 

He can't miss you if you won't go away.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. How long were you dating? It would be best to pull back and go no contact. begging pleading, acting desperate etc is very unattractive and will push him away. In the future don't use people to make others jealous.

i made the mistake of writing to an ex whom he is very insecure about over spite and jealousy because he had begun talking to a female friend.it backfired,he found out and immediately broke up with me.

[DaisyMayPorter]

Less is always more. Let him miss you.