lryl Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 So a long time ago I moved in with my partner and his dad. Unfortunately his dad passed away. We then continued to live in the house until we were asked to vacate. They only gave us 3 days so I was going to move in with my parents and he was going to live with his mum. Instead his mum insisted I stay there too in a 1 bed apartment. We did this for a while and paid our way. My partners mum then said she couldn't afford the rent anymore as it had gone up and she wasn't going to renew the tenancy. We then discussed all getting a 2 bedroom apartment together and splitting the rent 3 ways. She didn't want to do that and instead moved in with her daughter. Me and my partner then decided we wanted to take over the tenancy of the flat and have been living there for 6 months. Her daughter then moved her new boyfriend in and the mum started drinking more and more (she is an alcoholic). They had a massive argument and then my mum in law just turned up at my house and is basically expecting to move in. The first night she was round she got drunk and pissed herself on my sofa and didn't even clean it up. Now she wants her stuff to be brought to mine from her daughters and shes not even asked if its okay with me. Which it is not. My boyfriend knows she is taking the mick but still continuously defends her and wont even say anything to her about her wetting herself and not admitting to it. I have tried to talk to him about her, as I don't want her living with me in a one bed that I pay for but he is not listening and instead feels sorry for her even though she is a grown woman. What should I do? I cant take it anymore. Its such a nightmare living with her in such a small proximity. Link to comment
Minikimini Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 What should I do? Move back in with your parents and let them sort their dysfunctional family mess on their own. There is no reason why you should be subjected to drunks pissing on your couch and not being adult enough 1. to not do it and 2. to admit what they've done and clean up behind themselves. This is more than you signed up for. If your boyfriend is too meek and scared to put his foot down with his mom and tell her that she cannot live with you two, then you need to find another boyfriend who's got stones. This one doesn't. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 Blood is thicker than water in this case and you are the weakest link in your bf's eyes. That means leave or put up with all this. He's not going to put her on the street when you can easily move back home, as you should have in the first place. You seemed ok taking her up on her offer for you to live in her 1 br rather than move home to your parents. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 Leave! What a dysfunctional family. Do you work? Can you pay for your own place? Link to comment
catfeeder Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 I'd buy my way out. I'd pay whatever fees to get my name taken off the lease and leave them to it. Link to comment
maew Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 You won't be able to change your BF's mind on this... he sounds codependent and protective of his mum, and will need to come to his own decision about what to do about her. In the meantime, you can either accept living with his alcoholic mum (I personally wouldn't) or you will need to find another living situation. It sucks when the actions of alcoholics and addicts impact our lives in such a way... but such is also the nature of the disease, and unless she is willing to get help she will continue to do what she is doing. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 Move back in with your parents and let them sort their dysfunctional family mess on their own. There is no reason why you should be subjected to drunks pissing on your couch and not being adult enough 1. to not do it and 2. to admit what they've done and clean up behind themselves. This is more than you signed up for. If your boyfriend is too meek and scared to put his foot down with his mom and tell her that she cannot live with you two, then you need to find another boyfriend who's got stones. This one doesn't. Yes this is what you need to do, and why. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted April 13, 2018 Share Posted April 13, 2018 You need to extricate yourself from this, OP. I would move out. Yes, it's that serious. You might not want to leave your boyfriend to live with her on his own, but he is clearly enabling her and isn't likely to see things from your perspective. Unless and until they realize she has a problem, and she seeks help, this is going to get worse. I would bounce before any more of my property, emotional well-being and sanity got damaged again. Link to comment
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