y0ungshel Posted April 7, 2018 Share Posted April 7, 2018 I met my boyfriends friend for the first time last night. He refused to let me finish a sentence, said F*** you to me more times than I can count and kept looking at me and pushing his glasses up with his middle finger. He called me a when I waited to put a song in to karaoke until I was ready. When he asked me a question for the 100th time, then refused to let me answer, I shouted at him and left.(I know this wasn't the best choice, and gave him just what he wanted) My boyfriend followed. He told me he tried to talk to him when I went to the bathroom, but he said he didn't care. My boyfriend said didn't know how to handle it as he has admired this guy for a while and is totally shocked at his behavior. A while after we left, this guy texted and asked him where he went. He responded telling him how he was feeling. I feel violated and wrong. I don't know what to do. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted April 7, 2018 Share Posted April 7, 2018 Well, your boyfriend's friend is a d*ckhead. And I think shouting at him and leaving was a perfectly fine response. Your feelings are completely understandable. But there's really nothing else you can do except not hang out with that friend anymore. Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted April 7, 2018 Share Posted April 7, 2018 No more hanging out with that guy! He's arrogant, and maybe he feels like you're taking time away from his bromance lol. Be glad your BF stood by you. I've had that happen and was left without a bf's support in it so just thank your BF and move on from it. Let them hang alone and you and him hang alone. Link to comment
dave_1966 Posted April 7, 2018 Share Posted April 7, 2018 Looks like you've got competition for your boyfriend from someone who hasn't stepped out of the closet yet. Link to comment
purplepaisley Posted April 7, 2018 Share Posted April 7, 2018 Wow, to be met with that much hostility, I'm surprised you kept the composure you did for so long. I know I would be feeling the exact same way as you; feeling like you were the drama queen, shouting and storming off, but no, you can't do this to yourself. This guy poked at you, using his middle finger to push up his glasses and provoking conversation while promptly shutting you down on answers, exhibiting quite the sh**-storm of hostililty towqards you. The fact you held composure and tried to make the best of it for the length of time you did makes me both wanting to high-five you and commend you for your grace and bopping you on the back of the head for putting up with it for so long. Your boyfriend...what to do with him at this point? His friend, or so-called friend is probably going to be a constant staple, and as others have said, you and your boyfriend can be who you are as a couple, and keep him out of that aspect. He can be buds with his bud and not include you, and it can work out if this isn't a constant tug-o-war on his time and attention...I see issues, and I can promise you, if you and your boyfriend have a fight, hit a rough spot, or argue, this friend is going to be ALL OVER trashing you...even in good times, this friend of his can't stand you, and he WILL create a wedge. It's up to your boyfriend at this point to establish boundaries, tell him he's out of line, he will not tolerate this behavior, etc., and maybe he loses a friend over it, but good riddance. For me, I don't know if I'd stick around if his friends are like that. I'm not going to put out an ultimatum of me or them. If this is your future with his friends and he tolerates this behavior, maybe you need to rethink your boyfriend. He had words with this friend and left with you, and this is good. Let's see what plays out. At the end of the day, I absolutely don't blame your reaction. Link to comment
Pleasedonot5 Posted April 7, 2018 Share Posted April 7, 2018 If that were my friend, I would have stepped up and called him out for his behavior while it was happening. While your boyfriend didn't do that, I'm glad he stood by you. As a previous poster said, a lot of times s/o's refuse to support their partner in those situations. Just breathe. The situation is over. Have a talk with your boyfriend about the hostility. I don't think it would be unreasonable to request 1) not to be invited around the friend and 2) to be preferred in terms of time between the two of you. Either that or you should request your boyfriend simply cut ties with that douchebag... For him to treat you like that, jeez. Link to comment
maew Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 This friend sounds like a jealous a$$hole. I would be seriously questioning why my BF was friends with someone like that in the first place. Link to comment
Giblesp Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 Tell your bf, if he doesnt do anything about it dump him. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 I met my boyfriends friend for the first time last night. He refused to let me finish a sentence, said F*** you to me more times than I can count and kept looking at me and pushing his glasses up with his middle finger. He called me a when I waited to put a song in to karaoke until I was ready. When he asked me a question for the 100th time, then refused to let me answer, I shouted at him and left.(I know this wasn't the best choice, and gave him just what he wanted) My boyfriend followed. He told me he tried to talk to him when I went to the bathroom, but he said he didn't care. My boyfriend said didn't know how to handle it as he has admired this guy for a while and is totally shocked at his behavior. A while after we left, this guy texted and asked him where he went. He responded telling him how he was feeling. I feel violated and wrong. I don't know what to do. I think it speaks volumes about your boyfriend. i am sure that this isn't the first time he has acted that way, as much as your boyfriend denies it. I think that if he tried to talk to him when you were in the bathroom and he wouldn't stop, IN FRONT OF YOU I would have said "you know what, she doesn't deserve to be treated like that, we are going to go..." and then take you to a nicer place for dessert or continue the evening somewhere else. Or better yet, you know "i don't think you deserve this treatment, how about we let X have his fun here and we'll go elsewhere" Honestly, i am doubting that he did talk to him while you were in the bathroom. The fact that YOU had to do the acting really wants me to make sure you take this into account that your boyfriend did not defend you in this case. And its about the company he keeps Link to comment
Jibralta Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 Yeah, I'm also unimpressed by the way that her boyfriend handled it. I think he should have punched the guy out at the first f you. Link to comment
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