Receptionist who works at gym... but I'm a virgin.

[real35]

There is this incredibly attractive girl that works at my gym.

 

I really want to talk to her. Honestly I think the urge to talk her is increased because I think there's a mutual attraction. I'm confident there is. The problem is... I'm a virgin. I have NEVER been in a relationship my whole life. There's no chaotic reason as why I've been a virgin for this long. I never dated in high school, never went to college or university, I don't go clubs and bars, or do any kind of real socializing. I'm just a really, really, introverted guy. Honestly this whole thing kind of crept up on me as lame a that sounds. Anyway I'm tired of this life of solitude and want to talk to her to this. But the this virgin thing kind has me hesitate to make a move. It's prevented me from talking to any women.

 

Should this really be an issue?

[abitbroken]

This scenario has been explored before with other people. Most receptionists at the gym are paid to be friendly and engaging to people. Many people have mistaken their attention for romantic interest when it actually is not. Same with bartenders or the membership coordinator at the gym or someone who works at the front counter of anywhere.

 

Honestly, I would not "make a move". I would just be friendly towards her - use her to practice your skills of striking up conversations to gain confidence.

 

BTW, why have you not gone to college or trade school? Do you work?

 

btw, i met none of the men i dated at a bar or club.

[SomedaySoon]

What women look for most IMO, is your ability to be comfortable in your own skin. They are looking for confidence and compatibility. The fact you've never been in a relationship will not be too important if you can make her feel special.

[Jibralta]

Should this really be an issue?

 

Unfortunately, you're leading with sex so it's going to be a huge issue for you. If just looked at her as another human being, your problems would take care of themselves. You would relax and get to know her. But to you, sex appears to be a huge obstacle to everything because it's all you're seeing here.

[HeartGoesOn]

Why does being a virgin present a problem, when having the urge to talk to an attractive girl?

 

I'm confused.

[cherubrock]

Like Jibralta said,

 

Stop thinking about being a virgin. No one can tell and they don't need to know that right away.

[Al5]

Hello. Do not take wrong advice, these girls are also human and flirt. They also have crushes on guys at the gym and it could be you. Some of the best sex of my life was with 2 gym receptionists -not at the same time unfortunately. So go for it, do not be shy.

 

The way I see it is you need to start talking to these girls, even if it is to get experience. Confidence cannot be bought but it certainly grows, and I believe confidence is a huge chick magnet. You need to say clever things and be able to make conversation as it goes, always with clever things here and there, girls love that. Girls like guys to be smart way more than we care about how smart a girl is.

 

Hope this helps!

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately you're creating your own catch-22. You never discuss your sexual past with women anyway. What you do is start being friendly, smiling, initiating small talk, etc. You also get yourself on some dating apps and start talking to and meeting women for coffee. But you don't gawk at women at their jobs. She's there to work, she's not on display at a singles bar or dating app.

this virgin thing kind has me hesitate to make a move. It's prevented me from talking to any women.

[top bloke]

If you like go for it..if you snooze you lose. Talking is not a crime

[lostandhurt]

Being shot down is not lethal and you are not wearing a sign that says VIRGIN on it so stop with all the negative thinking.

 

Ask her how her day is going and listen when she speaks, don't just wait for your turn to talk. Be funny and interesting and above all be different than the meat heads that hit on her all the time.

 

Don't waste a lot of time building up to asking her out though. Make a connection on something you have in common and then ask her out so you both can get to know each other better.

 

You have absolutely zero chance of getting her number if you never ask so be brave, talk to her and ask her out. Keep it simple and see what happens. I promise it will not hurt no matter what happens.

 

Lost

[rathomir]

Why is being a virgin an issue?