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SomedaySoon

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  1. We will get through this. There's always a silver lining in a dark cloud. I think for Covid, we're relearning what it means to slow down a bit and think about and appreciate the things in life that are most important.
  2. Mid week drinking binges are a bad sign. If you two have already had several frank discussions and nothing changes, it's time to move on. Waiting on him to change may be a wait that lasts a lifetime.
  3. Counting on the honey moon phase to last the entire relationship is probably unwise for the vast majority of long term relationships. She is still quite young (you both are) and she may feel like she wants her freedom while it is still accessible. I would not burn any bridges here because it is possible she will end up wanting you back realizing that she made a mistake....but in the mean time I would weigh your options and if you find someone else you fancy I'd go for it. If you do in fact end up in another relationship and she asks you to be unfaithful, or tries to get you to break up with that person and go back to her I'd distance myself from her for good.
  4. Aging is an awful thing in some respects, but I will say I think the wisdom and perspective that comes with the aging process is more valuable than the liberty of youth which incidentally is a bit of a mirage in my book.
  5. I recognize a lot of what you posted. I tend to avoid my friends when conflict arises. I think I probably do a poor job of setting boundaries during the initial stages of the friendship and I tend to end up feeling like I'm no longer comfortable with the friendship and/or I've been taken advantage of in certain situations. I'm also not crazy about attending social gatherings, however if I do feel accepted by a group, I tend to enjoy socializing. I don't necessarily think you have a personality disorder, you may simply need more solitude to "recharge" yourself than others do. You may also be an empath, being more sensitive to others feelings which can be a burden for your psyche. Your Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is likely an INTJ. If you haven't determined your type yet, I would do that next which may help you better understand your method of processing social situations and interactions.
  6. You need to cut your losses today and move the heck on. It's clear they hate you and you strongly dislike them at the minimum. This kind of thing happens from time to time and it's time to start over. If the service you're providing is truly valuable, you'll be the winner when you leave. There's really nothing more to say.
  7. I've been in the new role for three months now. My instincts in this field have been honed over the years and unfortunately this is a black hole that is getting darker by the day. My resume could take an even worse hit if they attempt to pin the current problems of the department on me the next time we are inspected, which I would not put past them.
  8. Well, I've got a meeting scheduled with my administrative director for tomorrow afternoon. This is do or die. Either they let me go back to my old position of I'll be looking for a new employer. Things have gone from bad to worse in the last 48 hours. Here's hoping it doesn't come to that but I'm prepared for the worst.
  9. Long story condensed - I work in a large hospital. There is a department that was neglected in terms of staffing (which was the fault of management and HR) and I was asked to help out on an interim basis with the understanding I would return to my old duties after this new department became fully staffed. Job applicants have been basically non existent so far, and now I am being pressured to retain permanent employment in this new department as a supervisor (bait and switch tactic by management) which would involve overseeing the rebuilding of the entire department including recruiting and training additional staff, rebuilding procedure manuals, and keeping up to date with all processes that involve accreditations and inspections. This would mean keeping long hours and being that it's salaried...no overtime compensation, as well as extreme levels of stress. I almost feel like I was set up, but if I resist, it could cost me what I previously referred to as good relationships with my superiors which could turn out to really affect my standing with this employer.
  10. My relationship with my superiors is very good...and if I move up the food chain, I will be placed into a salaried position with longer hours and more stress without the possibility of accrued overtime. I just want other people's experiences regardless of their relationship with their boss and how they gracefully turned down the opportunity. Or if they didn't...did they end up regretting it.
  11. I'm looking for some insight from someone who may have been pressured by someone higher up the food chain to take a promotion. If you weren't comfortable with this and you declined to accept, my question is how did you tell your boss "no" and what was the response?
  12. If she's been divorced twice she is probably a little apprehensive about getting into another relationship. What you do now depends on how patient you are willing to be. You are right to give her some space and allow her time to think, but obviously she needs to figure out what it is that she wants so she won't waste your time. I'd maybe give it another month or two at the most and if she still doesn't want exclusivity it would probably be wise to move on.
  13. I think it's a sign of wisdom and compassion honestly. You want the best for your friends and family and there's nothing wrong with that. I think we all have friends that we wish behaved differently, and maybe they feel the same way about us. And btw, you are right. You should not give them any money at all.
  14. It sounds like she has more than one iron in the fire. Let her make the next move and if she does, proceed with caution. Sounds like it will be a bit of an LDR since she lives some distance from you. And unless you accompany her on these trips back home it could lead to trust issues. Just my .02
  15. What women look for most IMO, is your ability to be comfortable in your own skin. They are looking for confidence and compatibility. The fact you've never been in a relationship will not be too important if you can make her feel special.
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