Where will my road lead.

[Stacks44]

My cat has been my constant companion since my split. It really does help to have another soul with you

[SweetGirl28]

Stacks is right sweets. It was because it was a woman I didnt care. If it was a man I would of flipped my lid.

 

I dont have any pets anymore. I think getting one would really help me feel better.

 

Lol I understand, it's like a turn on too for you guys I suppose.

Get kitties! I have two. One hates me . The other is very cuddly.

I hope you're enjoying yourself! Great memories only! Okay?

[Piaresssss]

I do want anither cat but its hard to get one at the moment. On the good memory front I went to the dear park today

Oh my god it was the best

Highlight of my whole trip

[SweetGirl28]

I do want anither cat but its hard to get one at the moment. On the good memory front I went to the dear park today

Oh my god it was the best

Highlight of my whole trip

 

That sounds nice! I remember going to one of those here, the deer, especially the fawns they were so cute, coming right up to us. Walking around surrounded by them. It was fun because we have wild deer here, and they see us outside, they freeze and stare for a moment then they are off running. Their tails flicking with their little white butts lol. But my daughter was so amazed she could touch and have her pic taken petting and hugging them and eating from her hands.

[SweetGirl28]

Hey! Are you alive?????? Hope you're okay, and didn't get set back from the ex!

[Stacks44]

I was wondering how the rest of your trip went too! I was hoping for pictures of you with cats.

[Piaresssss]

Haha sorry been so tired last day.

 

Indeed I am alive. Travel back took ages. The people I was travelling with ran off at the airport to catch are connnecting flight. I just took my time. I made it to the plane. They didnt. One of them dropped their passport. They abandoned me a few times throught the trip so i did feel a bit smug.

 

In a cruel twist of fate I was sitting next to her on the plane. She tried to engage but i respectfully said I dont know who you are anymore and we no longer play a role in each others lives. Then left it at that.

 

I have some pictures of me at the deer park but im unsure how to upload.

 

I thought id feel weird being back but i feel great. No anger. No sadness. I felt like i finally ended things on my terms. Number has finally been blocked.

[sputnik123]

Hello brother,

 

So glad you got back safe and sound! Welcome back to our green and pleasant land ;)

 

I had a funny feeling you would be subjected to the ex on the flight home.. you dealt with it very well I think (other than throwing her out from the cargo hold, that is, but I digress..) ;p

 

I'm glad you finally blocked! Excited to see what comes next for you buddy.

 

Keep it moving.

 

S x

[SweetGirl28]

((((((Hugs))))))) to you! I'm happy to hear you are back safe and okay!

[Blank State]

So here I am. Back at square one. Feel like im going through the break up all over again.

 

I got an answer from my ex in regards to reconciliation and it was a no. She wants to be friends and I initially said no. This made her cry and I felt so bad about it that I said we could at least try.

 

I cried most of the day yesterday because i know it is actually over. At least i can move on now.

 

Im meeting her on Friday to hang out as friends but I expect we are going to part as nothing as I just cannot do it to myself.

 

I will always have the intention of using a friendship to try and rebuild a romantic relationship and i feel that is wrong. The friendship would be false, a sham and thats not what good relations are built on.

 

Me and my ex also parted on very good terms. I can see myself being very good friends with her down the road but not right now. I would hate to try a friendship at this point in time, it fail and then end up hating someone who I once loved dearly.

 

This is going to be tough and I do not know where im going in life right now but I think I can make it through

Nothing good can come of you hanging out with her on Friday in my opinion. You're still in love with her. The whole night you're not going to be able to feel right because now you can't be what you want to be with her. Cut your ties clean. She may be trying to just keep you on the backburner just in case she needs someone when she needs. Tell her you can be passive friends. What that means is that in a crisis you are there for her. But for the rest of the time you should probably not talk to each other and especially not see each other. You already parted on good terms. You don't need to physically meet up so you can just say again that you're breaking up. This will just cause you to be tormented. And it's most likely you hanging on to hope.

[boltnrun]

Nothing good can come of you hanging out with her on Friday in my opinion. You're still in love with her. The whole night you're not going to be able to feel right because now you can't be what you want to be with her. Cut your ties clean. She may be trying to just keep you on the backburner just in case she needs someone when she needs. Tell her you can be passive friends. What that means is that in a crisis you are there for her. But for the rest of the time you should probably not talk to each other and especially not see each other. You already parted on good terms. You don't need to physically meet up so you can just say again that you're breaking up. This will just cause you to be tormented. And it's most likely you hanging on to hope.

 

Um...a lot has happened since the original post.

[Stacks44]

Piaressss welcome back! Ugh I'm sorry you had to sit with her. I wish you could have traded seats.

 

However, I'm so glad to hear you're feeling empowered! That's a huge milestone!

[boltnrun]

I'm glad the trip is over with. Now you never have to see or speak to your ex ever again.

[wgmitch]

Just read through this monsterous thread. (I may have skipped a month or two) What a ride this has been for you Piaressss.

 

I wish you continued success. Everything is gonna be alright.

 

 

Mitch

[Piaresssss]

I am feeling empowered. Like a weight has been lifted from me now the trip is done. Im glad its over too bolt.

 

Hey Mitch. It has been a crazy ride for me. Some of it my fault some of it the exs. Its good to be the other side.

 

I have had a bit of growth the last few days. I just remembered something my ex did. She showed up at my house to tell my mum about her bew bf a few days before she told me.

 

Not really sure why she did this but the old me would have been so angry at my mum for keeping it from me but I didn't care when i found out.

 

That makes me happy.

[sputnik123]

That's great brother..

 

Sounds like your ex and my ex would get along nicely! ;)

 

So pleased to see you are getting there...

[Kimbles1215]

Hopefully it’s time for you to start the healing process. Do you think meeting her create closure for you?

 

I dreamt about my ex last night and can’t shake it off ahhh.

 

Hope everyone has a good day. Keep us updated

[Stacks44]

We like to think closure is a thing in relationships or that getting certain answers will help with healing, but it's really the opposite.... Ignorance is bliss.

 

The more we try to understand the situation and the more information we try to obtain about/from our ex, the sadder we usually get. You really just end up seeing how much happier they are without you or with a new person, how low their opinion currently is of you (which then opens a whole other can of worms of low self esteem, the past was a lie thoughts etc. )

 

I'm now on day 32 or so of not looking at my ex's social media, and day 123ish of no contact, and I can say without a doubt that the last 32 days have been as close to normal as I've been in months.

 

Closure is a trap that your brain has set for you to prevent you from letting go.

[Piaresssss]

Thought I'd give a little update.

 

Been feeling a bit blue the last few days. For some reason the ex has been on the brain.

 

I find this odd as I hadn't thought of her in almost two weeks. It was a good two weeks as well. The closest I have felt to happy in a long time.

 

I'm gonna pin the blame on my sister I think. She saw my ex and her new bf in a shop and couldn't resist telling me. She is not a bad person but is a bit of a gossip so just loves getting in peoples business.

 

I did say to her next time keep it to yourself. I don't need to know what happens with her at all.

 

Hoping I get over this little hump soon. I did go out last night and had a great time so I know I can still enjoy myself.

 

Ah well, felt good to get this out. Time to leave this behind me I think.

[sputnik123]

Ahhh, 2 of my fave peeps!

 

Brother, you are doing so great! The only hindrance is the occasional and temporary road blocks! Ensure that noone gives you any info about the dreadful ex (and vice versa).

 

As the wonderful Sweets says, people are not easily forgotten, if ever, completely.

 

Sister, hope you have a great date tonight.. Remember, you are the ultimate prize!

 

Hope everyone has a great weekend. The British summer formally ends tomorrow ;p

[Piaresssss]

Thanks both of you. Both wise words of wisdom as always.

 

Summer actually hasn't startes yet. Its just been a few days if good weather for a change.

 

If its a good year around 23 degrees Celsius is average id say but thats if we are really lucky. Normally it tends to rain.

 

Good luck on the date too, have a great time.

[Stacks44]

Piaressss sounds like a moment of weakness and nothing more. Just from reading your entire thread I've really come to appreciate your progress and ever improving mind set. You've been a huge inspiration in my own healing.

 

I just hope you realize that you didn't give her much thought for almost 2 weeks. When's the last time you were able to say that?

[Piaresssss]

I think i agree with you Stacks. It is not even specific things, im more like I wonder what she is up to sort of pondering.

 

Im gonna list some of the good to make myself feel better. I have lost loads of weight. Reconnected with some of my friends I lost touch with. Have been going out way more than I did before and maybe the biggest found some wonderfull people on here that help me through the hard times.

 

Only little things but they can make a big difference.

[Piaresssss]

Been away for a few weeks and thought I'd come give an update in the goings on in my life.

 

There has not been much development with me. Been going out alot with friends. I am actually going to celebrate my birthday for the first time in forever.

 

I also have been working up the courage to ask someone on a date but im really shy and nervous all the time.

 

As for the ex, not been thinking of her at all. Been feeling good the past few weeks.

 

Hope everyone else is doing good

[ShatteredMan]

HBD! As for asking her out, definitely do it. What have you got to lose? If she says no, there's plenty of other women that are looking for a guy that has what you're bringing to the table.....

 

Warning: Don't compare her to your ex. She's probably everything your ex is not (and I think that I can speak for everyone here in saying that we hope this is the truth!), but if you are comparing this to your previous experience, it can be a massive hindrance in many ways. Speaking as someone who did this, it was almost like a form of self-sabotage.