Piaresssss Posted March 25, 2018 Author Share Posted March 25, 2018 Hi everyone, I’m going through a breakup at the moment and finding it really difficult so reading this thread has helped me! Glad my ramblings are helping you. I remeber how hard it was at the beginning. Feeling so lost and alone. Just wishing everything would go back to what I remebered. Does get better. Cant tell you when or how but it will. I have gone through a lot since it happened. A pregnancy scare with the ex. Being strung along. Being told she didnt love me any more. Being told she has a new boyfriend and Im relatively happy I would say. So just hang in there and indeed we are all here for you! Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 Haha Sweets I was supposed to see her friday but the plans fell through and we couldn't get together before I went away. Cinema was good. Seeing one of my best mates really cheered me up. Spending the day with my mum before I go away today so gonna try enjoy it. I'm happy you enjoyed yourself and are feeling more positive! Enjoy your day with your mom, that's so sweet to spend it with her before you leave :) When do you leave? Have a safe trip. Let us know if you can that you make it safely (I'm such a mom lol) Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 Hi everyone, I’m going through a breakup at the moment and finding it really difficult so reading this thread has helped me! Hi, hang in there! He was being selfish and I know you're hurt, but you will get through this. 5 years is a long time, so you need time . That's the true healer. Link to comment
Curlyweave Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 Thank you guys! He brought my stuff round the other night and it was awful, he couldn’t even look at me because he didn’t want to cry. I was balling my eyes out and I gave him a letter and he just left, not even a backwards glance! He changed his tune when he read the letter and text me though. He said yesterday when we spoke ‘if I sort you your issues out and get everything sorted we can be together again’ I don’t get it? Ha ha It’s because I’ve recently been told I’m suffering with anxiety and depression and wants me to get sorted Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 Thank you guys! He brought my stuff round the other night and it was awful, he couldn’t even look at me because he didn’t want to cry. I was balling my eyes out and I gave him a letter and he just left, not even a backwards glance! He changed his tune when he read the letter and text me though. He said yesterday when we spoke ‘if I sort you your issues out and get everything sorted we can be together again’ I don’t get it? Ha ha It’s because I’ve recently been told I’m suffering with anxiety and depression and wants me to get sorted Be careful of any guy that says you need to change while not changing themselves. If he only sees your faults, he's a manipulator and controlling. Good luck though! I'm all for happy endings :) Link to comment
Curlyweave Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 It’s so odd! He said in a letter he wrote me (after I sent him one) that he wants me to make him look like an idiot for ever leaving me, wants me to prove him wrong and that I can get better and battle my depression, if I can do all that we can ‘reconsider’ and said he’d love to be with me. 5 years is such a long time to then do this :/ Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted March 25, 2018 Author Share Posted March 25, 2018 I'm happy you enjoyed yourself and are feeling more positive! Enjoy your day with your mom, that's so sweet to spend it with her before you leave :) When do you leave? Have a safe trip. Let us know if you can that you make it safely (I'm such a mom lol) Leaving at 3am tomorrow morning I have a personal wifi hotspot so will keep you all updated as I travel Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted March 25, 2018 Author Share Posted March 25, 2018 It’s so odd! He said in a letter he wrote me (after I sent him one) that he wants me to make him look like an idiot for ever leaving me, wants me to prove him wrong and that I can get better and battle my depression, if I can do all that we can ‘reconsider’ and said he’d love to be with me. 5 years is such a long time to then do this :/ You can say if I over step here but I must say what a absolute d**k this guy is. My ex had depression quiet bad and would self harm. At no point did I ever consider leaving her over it or giving her an ultimatum to change. I wanted her to get better but I wanted to help her do it not just tell her that she had to change to make my life easier. In the end she left me because of my behaviour (im jealous and possesive, well I was) that I didn't change. I hope you do beat the depression (had it myself so I know it can be tough) not even hope you beat it, when you do beat it he does feel like a fool and when he says lets reconsider you tell him where to go. You deserve so much more than someone like that. Link to comment
Curlyweave Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 You can say if I over step here but I must say what a absolute d**k this guy is. My ex had depression quiet bad and would self harm. At no point did I ever consider leaving her over it or giving her an ultimatum to change. I wanted her to get better but I wanted to help her do it not just tell her that she had to change to make my life easier. In the end she left me because of my behaviour (im jealous and possesive, well I was) that I didn't change. I hope you do beat the depression (had it myself so I know it can be tough) not even hope you beat it, when you do beat it he does feel like a fool and when he says lets reconsider you tell him where to go. You deserve so much more than someone like that. No you didn’t over step the mark! :) I’m so confused, I don’t even know what to make of the letter! It’s all very contradicting himself and saying we are broken up and I said the letter sounds like a break to me and he said call it what you like, we don’t have to put a name on it. But you do, I need clarification! He goes on about wanting to be a director of this business he’s working at and how I’m not at the league he’s at and I need to have more ambition and drive and he thought me moving to be with him would ‘help’.... Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted March 25, 2018 Author Share Posted March 25, 2018 No you didn’t over step the mark! :) I’m so confused, I don’t even know what to make of the letter! It’s all very contradicting himself and saying we are broken up and I said the letter sounds like a break to me and he said call it what you like, we don’t have to put a name on it. But you do, I need clarification! He goes on about wanting to be a director of this business he’s working at and how I’m not at the league he’s at and I need to have more ambition and drive and he thought me moving to be with him would ‘help’.... I understand needing the clarification 100%. I had so many conflicting signals it drove me crazy. He sounds like a very selfish person. Firstly, moving to be with someone is a huge step in my view. If that didn't show him ambition and drive for your relationship at least what would have. It seems like he was pissed you didn't go out there and start earning millions the second your bags where down. Im my view. Take it as the relationship is over. Hard pill to swallow I know but it will help in the long run. It seems like by not putting a label on it he is covering his back if he has a change of heart and that maked him a massive ahole. Link to comment
Curlyweave Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 I understand needing the clarification 100%. I had so many conflicting signals it drove me crazy. He sounds like a very selfish person. Firstly, moving to be with someone is a huge step in my view. If that didn't show him ambition and drive for your relationship at least what would have. It seems like he was pissed you didn't go out there and start earning millions the second your bags where down. Im my view. Take it as the relationship is over. Hard pill to swallow I know but it will help in the long run. It seems like by not putting a label on it he is covering his back if he has a change of heart and that maked him a massive ahole. You’re so right about the ambition regarding the moving. I left everyone behind and a stable job to be in a new city. From what he’s said in the letter it’s like he wants to be with me BUT not at this stage in my life when I’m down and depressed, but wants me to make him ‘beg’ for him back when he can see me doing better again! Don’t get it haha Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 So he wants you to jump through hoops, become a completely different person, then audition for the role of "girlfriend"??? Yeah, I'd take a hard pass on that one. Don't you want someone who loves you for who you are? I guarantee if you go back he will constantly be instructing you on what to do and what you're doing wrong. This is supposed to be an equal partnership, not a father and daughter or teacher and student relationship. Link to comment
Curlyweave Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 I don’t understand it myself! He’s never had an issue with anything like this before and he said he doesn’t understand mental health and how it impacts somebody. I can’t even explain it to him either because I can’t explaib it myself! He gave me a list of things he wants me to do and if I do it and get myself better and be happier we can be together again. He wants me to make him look stupid for ever leaving me, his words! Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 Does that sound like a man in love? I hope you told him to pound sand. Sorry P for hijacking your thread Link to comment
Curlyweave Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 Sounds like a pleb who doesnt know what he wants! One thing I will do on his poxy list is prove him wrong Sorry P for hijacking!! Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted March 25, 2018 Author Share Posted March 25, 2018 No need to apologise All part of the healing Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted March 26, 2018 Author Share Posted March 26, 2018 Currently waiting for my connection to japan First flight wasnt to bad Link to comment
sputnik123 Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 hey brother, You are sooo lucky! Thinking of you on this wonderful adventure. Stay safe :) Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 Thanks for checking in! Stay safe and have fun! Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted March 27, 2018 Author Share Posted March 27, 2018 Im Japan Im so tired Gonna catch some sleep and hit it fresh tomorrow Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted March 28, 2018 Author Share Posted March 28, 2018 Having a good time in Japan. Went to the Otaku section of tokyo yesterday. Me and my friend thought it would be funny to go into a sex shop. Instant regret 😨. I have run into the ex and it was okay. Pleasent conversation. She asked about friends again and i said when im ready if I ever am. Got on the train in rush hour and it was an experience to say the least. Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted March 28, 2018 Share Posted March 28, 2018 Sounds fun! Glad you arrived safely. Now stay safe. You'll have so many great memories from this. Good you ran into her, that fear is out of the way now. And good for you saying if you're ever ready. I can just imagine the sex shop over there. Probably have those holes cut out in the wall for oral lol. Don't forget to call your mama every day! We moms worry, no matter how old you babies get lol :) Link to comment
sputnik123 Posted March 28, 2018 Share Posted March 28, 2018 Ahhh, Piaresssss, So glad you got there safe and sound and that you are having a great time! I guess it was inevitable that you would run into the ex along the way. Sounds like you handled it well though mate. Yes, stay out of those those sex shops! Remember, things can't ever be unseen! ;) In rush-hour Japan, don't they have guards on hand that literally squeeze everyone on the trains?... makes the London "tube" look positively deserted! lol I hope you have a wonderful adventure, full of joyous memories. S x Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted March 29, 2018 Author Share Posted March 29, 2018 Im having a great time. Yep they had to literally cram people into the carriage. It was fun in a really strange way. Qn experience I am not gonna forget. Link to comment
Piaresssss Posted March 31, 2018 Author Share Posted March 31, 2018 I needed a bit of me time so I came to Tokyo Disneyland. Been feeling a bit down maybe the last 2 days. I ran into the ex again and we talked about things. She said she misses how close we where and wants to get back to that. To me it seems like she wants all the positive of a relationship while having none of the baggage. It also does not help that the people I came with just got engaged. Just serving as a reminder that im on my own out here. Im talking to my friends but its a 9 hour time difference so it is quiet hard to do. Link to comment
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