Will we end up together?

[mjp]

So my ex fiance and I were supposed to get married in November. We moved out and found our own places in September because it was too risky for us to be together. We were fighting a lot because he lost his job and things got REALLY stressful. We both have bipolar and since he couldn't afford health insurance, he was off his meds and kept getting irritable very easily. I just couldn't deal with things and started getting violent. He would restrain me and I would get bruises from it and scream at the top of my lungs. He didn't want the neighbors to call the cops because he is on probation with 17 years in jail over his head. We never fell out of love with each other, in fact he just said he loves me a couple days ago. We still talk almost every day and have sex occasionally. He's said so many things about us getting back together in a couple years when things level out. However, he told me that he is looking for a girlfriend. But he also said that it's basically for sex...he doesn't want someone to feel used so that's why they would be in a "relationship." He also said that just because he has a girl friend doesn't mean that he wants to marry her or have a family with her. I think this is basically just a rebound thing...a band-aid to get his mind off of me. He's been on dating sites since a couple days after we broke up. He told me we would still see each other though. Yesterday he told me that he is waiting for me to realize that I don't need anyone to be happy and that I can be happy on my own. He has a lot on his plate right now and just recently asked me to give him space until he figures everything out. He lost both his jobs, has court, and has no money to pay his rent. I think I just need to give it time and that he will come back to me. What do you guys think???

[Wiseman2]

Use this time to reflect and get help. Abusive relationships get worse not better. What is he on probation for?

He would restrain me and I would get bruises from it and scream at the top of my lungs. He didn't want the neighbors to call the cops because he is on probation with 17 years in jail over his head.

RUN 6918383]What do you guys think???

[mjp]

I know this is not healthy in a relationship but I think it's hard to understand if you don't have bipolar and weren't under the circumstances we were in...obviously part of the reason we broke up is to work on the triggers and learn how to deal with them so if we do get back together things won't get violent.

[tattoobunnie]

Not sure where you are, but I have two friends who are bi-polar, and you would never know. They are also on medicaid, so can stay on their meds.

 

Being Bi-polar is not a pass on physically abusing others. He's physically abusive because he's an abusive person; stop blaming it on being bi-polar.

[mjp]

He is not the abusive one...I am.

[No1]

Use this time to reflect and get help. Abusive relationships get worse not better. What is he on probation for?

RUN

 

Wiseman...welcome back.

[MissCanuck]

He is not the abusive one...I am.

 

And are you getting help for this?

[Jibralta]

What do you guys think???

 

I think you're very preoccupied with getting what you want, but you don't seem interested in solving any of the problems that you have. I just see a laundry list of excuses for abusing each other.

[mjp]

@misscanuck I am seeing 2 therapists and just recently got out of a partial hospital program. I am getting help to learn how to deal with moods when they become extreme.