Am I being needy?

[LadyBug1988]

I've been dating a new guy for about a month now, and I have nothing negative to say about him so far. We have been hanging out twice each week for the past 3 (or more) weeks, and this week we are scheduled to go to NY on Friday for my birthday. We text all the time and he told me he wants to be my bf on Saturday, but I really miss him and didn't know how to tell him so I said this:

 

Me: I feel like I haven't seen you in forever

 

Cutie pie: I know it sucks lol. I love getting texts from you though. My heart skips a beat and I run to the phone lol.

 

Me: Aw, I like it when you text me too. I just don't want to be your pen pal

 

Cutie pie: I totally agree lol I like you in person much better obviously haha. Although now that things are progressing our calendars are more filling up with things to do with each other and less of the things already planned with other people. So heading in a good direction.

 

Me: lol ok

 

So he's hanging out with his buddies and watching sports games and stuff. Am I being too needy because he's right, we do have a lot of stuff planned? Idk, I just really like and miss him. We text all the time and he doesn't pressure me for anything or make me uncomfortable so I feel good around him. I guess that's why I'm feeling like I seem needy and vulnerable right now. We hung out Wednesday when we kissed for the first time (took him 4 dates to kiss me), and he invited me to his bowling tournament Saturday but I already had plans with a girlfriend.

[ThatwasThen]

Things are progressing nicely... chillax and enjoy your time with your friends when you're not with him.

[j.man]

What are you doing when you two aren't together?

[LadyBug1988]

What are you doing when you two aren't together?

 

Just regular stuff. Work and family.

[nutbrownhare]

It all sounds as though it's going very nicely.

 

When I first met my partner we'd both been single for a while and our diaries were so packed we'd only have time for one evening/week in the early days. As your guy says:

Although now that things are progressing our calendars are more filling up with things to do with each other and less of the things already planned with other people.

 

It's important that neither of you gives up friends and other activities, though. If you have a rich, fulfilling life independent of your partner it will help you feel less needy, and also mean you have more to bring to the relationship.

 

So just relax and enjoy...

[katrina1980]

Ladybug, yes I think you are being too needy.

 

It sounds like it's going really well, let the guy "breathe."

 

I recall your last thread about the guy who stood you up for Valentines Day and dumped you after sex.

 

You told us you have low self-esteem, are extremely anxious and insecure.

 

Have you gotten help for that or worked those things out?

 

Like TwT said, please chill.

 

You don't need to be joined at the hip, spend time with friends, develop some hobbies, you will become more interesting to him if you have your own life separate from him. It's better for you too.

 

I get you miss him, but that can be fun!

 

I love missing my BF! It makes seeing him that much more HOT!

 

Embrace that feeling!

[thorough]

I've been dating a new guy for about a month now, and I have nothing negative to say about him so far. We have been hanging out twice each week for the past 3 (or more) weeks, and this week we are scheduled to go to NY on Friday for my birthday. We text all the time and he told me he wants to be my bf on Saturday, but I really miss him and didn't know how to tell him so I said this:

 

Me: I feel like I haven't seen you in forever

 

Cutie pie: I know it sucks lol. I love getting texts from you though. My heart skips a beat and I run to the phone lol.

 

Me: Aw, I like it when you text me too. I just don't want to be your pen pal

 

Cutie pie: I totally agree lol I like you in person much better obviously haha. Although now that things are progressing our calendars are more filling up with things to do with each other and less of the things already planned with other people. So heading in a good direction.

 

Me: lol ok

 

So he's hanging out with his buddies and watching sports games and stuff. Am I being too needy because he's right, we do have a lot of stuff planned? Idk, I just really like and miss him. We text all the time and he doesn't pressure me for anything or make me uncomfortable so I feel good around him. I guess that's why I'm feeling like I seem needy and vulnerable right now. We hung out Wednesday when we kissed for the first time (took him 4 dates to kiss me), and he invited me to his bowling tournament Saturday but I already had plans with a girlfriend.

 

I feel the same way as you do a lot of times, but I discovered if the guy is willing to make time for me and spend quality time w/me, I can trust he is interested. Its hard taking things slow, my 1st relationship, we hung out all the time, but since we weren't compatible, we bumped heads a lot. I dated a guy who wanted a ton of my time, at 1st very nice, but the 9 hour/every other day dates got old pretty quick. My current bf and I see each other every weekend and that is a good pace. See where it goes, don't push and just enjoy.

[LadyBug1988]

Ladybug, yes I think you are being too needy.

 

It sounds like it's going really well, let the guy "breathe."

 

I recall your last thread about the guy who stood you up for Valentines Day and dumped you after sex.

 

You told us you have low self-esteem, are extremely anxious and insecure.

 

Have you gotten help for that or worked those things out?

 

Like TwT said, please chill.

 

You don't need to be joined at the hip, spend time with friends, develop some hobbies, you will become more interesting to him if you have your own life separate from him. It's better for you too.

 

I get you miss him, but that can be fun!

 

I love missing my BF! It makes seeing him that much more HOT!

 

Embrace that feeling!

 

Thank you for your response, and yes I am actually still doing counseling. I took a break from dating for a few months, and recently started putting myself out there and meeting people again. So far I have learned a lot about what I like and don't like. Also, the ways different guys treat me. I'm just trying to find my "normal" I guess.

[abitbroken]

How are you missing him so much when you already see him twice a week? Isn't going on a trip only knowing eachother a few weeks a bit iffy? Unless you live in NJ and CT and NY is somewhere you can go for an evening or the day and its not a major trip....

[Honeycomb8]

You should spend some time with your friends.