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I am sure you've heard this story before.


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So,I usually don't ask for help. But, I figured I would give this a shot. I have been happily divorced for over a year now, and I have had dates on and off, but none in which really clicked, I had almost given up when this girl popped up out of nowhere (Online dating) and we hit it off right away. We had been on 2-3 dates when I finally met her daughter, and she met my son, I also ended up meeting her parents and within 2 months she was my girlfriend.


Everything was amazing (We started dating in aug- this now being October) It did seem like everything was kind of rushed, but I went with the flow of things. Her back story, as I had learned as she was coming out of (And I am honestly uncertain if it was 4yrs or 4 months (we just never really talked about him) relationship she had been single just over 3 months before joining a dating site. Again, everything was great! Just last week, I felt like she was starting to get distant. I mean, it went from what seemed to me like for example, If I didn't say good morning, she would. Or, if I was busy she would text me kiss faces and ask how day was going to barely anything, of course I started to get worried.


At one point asked her if everything was okay, that she seemed distant, she replied with everything is fine babe. So, one day last week I didn't text anything all day, and out of nowhere she sent a kiss face, I waited and she then asked (Is everything okay babe?) (I work as a firefighter). so, with a sigh of relief, I text back telling her everything is Okay. This all started last Sunday 10/01.


She, seemed to make up excuses not to see me (Cleaning her daughters room) this Friday she told me she was sick. It was kind of the last straw for me. So, I just let it go and told her I hope she felt better. Finally, around supper time, she called me, and pretty much broke down (I don't think she was crying) and explained to me that last Sunday she had seen a pictures of her ex and all the anger and emotions came flowing back, and she was shocked by these feeling thinking that she had been over him, this caused her to distance herself from me. She told me she didn't know what to do as she didn't want to lose me but she didn't understand her feelings. I listened and told her that I think it was best that she tries to figure out these feeling and to give herself time to heal, as I felt she wasn't over him. She kept saying how she just wanted to punch him for messing up what we had and that she wished she hadn't seen those pictures, which I explained it was a good thing now rather then later when we were both really deep into each other. I told her I would give her space, and time to heal. She told me she didn't expect me to wait for her, but asked me if I did find someone to be kind and just let her know. (she already beat me to the punch and changed her Facebook statues to single, that bothered me most)


I apologize for confusion. I guess my question is like everyone's here. I am going to give her space, and time to heal. I honestly like her, and would be willing to wait, for sometime not forever.

How much space should I give her? Should I just leave the ball in her court? The main reason I like her so much as how honest she has been with me, I could tell she truly meant what she said, and I do believe she though she was over him. (Been there done that, feeling are feeling we are human) Going back to my original question. How long should I wait? And, how distant should I be? If I feel this may be worth it? (I was done with dating anyway) Her birthday is this week, so I though it would be nice just to wish her a Happy Birthday and just leave it at that.


I hope this made sense.

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I would also like to note, that I really don't care about my feelings as much as I do my sons, and how he really started to like her. Just sucks, and I guess some people in this world can be so "cold" like that.


This is why it is probably not a good idea to introduce kids until you have been involved at least six months.


Sorry, you were a rebound, She has feelings for her ex. You need to be done with this one.

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I know this hurts but it is far better you stepped out ... don't contact her at all. Not a beep. She rushed with that fb status ...that would hurt me the most too....in a way you dodged the bullet...they may get back together again and good luck to them. Maybe she caught your attention in a first place cause she was not very involved in a first place ....so appeared more challenging ....i don't know but believe me there are wonderful women out there without emotional luggage. Don't wish her happy birthday ....and stay out of contact for at least a month or two.

Good luck

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