Online Dating Apps: How long before you would give up trying to meet them in person?

[cococly]

There are quite a lot of those online dating apps. Some are slightly better than others.

Let's say you met and talked to a member of the opposite sex, how long would you wait until you meet them in person? (let's assume you aren't merely looking for sex partner, but just see if they could develop into genuine friendship/relationship?

 

I know it would be mostly girls who would hesitate to meet up with guys, but how long would you keep getting rejected by the same person from meeting up before you stop trying?

 

I have been trying to get this girl out, she would ask me to bring her on my long-haul trips, yet she gave lame excuses of "I got fatter these days, let me lose some weigh first before meeting up with you". She would also say "If I had a boyfriend like you did to your ex girlfriend, I would have fall for that guy completely."

 

I see those messages as baits for attentions only, am I right?

 

Let's discuss.

[DanZee]

I would meet up with the girl as quickly as possible. You don't really find out what a person is all about until you meet them. If they give you excuses about not meeting you, they're either not serious or they're hiding something (like a boyfriend or a husband). Online dating apps should be nothing more than a way to find somebody. The rest is done over coffee or a walk -- together.

[RedDress]

Online dating, in my opinion, is only a mechanism to connect with people. You should only really be talking online long enough to find out if there is potential for mutual interest, there is at least a couple of things to talk about, they have similar relationship goals (if you want a relationship, you can usually at least weed out a few who are just looking for sex) and weeding out the complete weirdos (if they happen to show you that side). It's not for developing an actual relationship, in my opinion. That's done in person.

 

As a woman - yes - there is a concern for personal safety - but that's why the initial meet should be in a very public place.

 

If you've hit 5-10 back-and-forth paragraphs over a couple of days, that's MORE than enough for a coffee (bordering on too much)

 

"I'd like to lose some weight first" - sheesh! No way. At an aggressive 2 lbs a week weight loss and if she wants to lose 20 lbs, that's 10 weeks!! No way.

 

You can continue chatting with her if you like to pass the time - but certainly keep looking for someone else.

[Soplit]

Honestly, I don't like online dating apps these days because people there are not serious about relationships I think. As for me, I prefer such dating websites People there are more certain about what they want and it is not a problem to meet them in person if you are interesten in each other. I have met about 5 girls from there and all of them were really very lovely. I hope that I will find my SO there soon

[Batya33]

When I used online dating sites -with rare exception this is how I used them:

 

I contacted a man I was interested in (or he contacted me). He had to tick off all the boxes including looking for marriage and family, right age range, single, educated, financially stable, etc.

 

We exchanged one or two messages online. One of the two messages contained my request for his phone number (if he didn't ask for mine) because I preferred talking to typing (and back then -I had no cell phone and could disable caller ID if I wanted). Then within a day or so we spoke on the phone for about 20 minutes usually -that was long enough for me to do my (unbeknownst to him) safety screen and figure out whether if we met in person we could have a pleasant conversation.

 

If he asked to meet we arranged a time/place within that week and if he didn't I would suggest a first meet (no, I did not ask him out on a date, and he didn't ask me out on a date by suggesting a first meet). If he said no, I moved on, if he said yes but couldn't schedule because of a legitimate reason, I told him he was free to call me to schedule when he could -ball in his court. If he cancelled the first meet without a true emergency I would maybe let him reschedule once. I wasn't into flakes/people who behaved unreliably.

 

I googled his name if I thought it was necessary. At least twice I ended up cancelling after googling (one was a criminal matter, the other was an obvious lie about his age - and I found it because he bragged about his ex wife's wealthy family)

 

We met within the week usually. I communicated with hundreds of men and met over 100 in person.

 

Several of my friends met their spouses through online sites and all are very good/great people.

[James516]

It's a dating site, not a pen pal site, so its purpose is for finding people who want to go on dates. For any person you are in contact with, there are already pitfalls such as the person isn't who they say they are, the pics are bogus or not how they actually look, could be married/in a relationship, and you never know if you really will be attracted until you meet them in person. So don't waste your time with someone who is stalling or already rejecting you. They're stalling for a reason, and whatever that reason is, it isn't good. It would seem you would think better of yourself and your time by pursuing others who are willing to meet within a week or two at the most.

[ThatwasThen]

I know it would be mostly girls who would hesitate to meet up with guys, but how long would you keep getting rejected by the same person from meeting up before you stop trying?

I would not "keep" getting rejected at all. IMO You ask once and if they turn you down then you move on. Just don't ask after the first email. Give it a week of chatting and then ask the question, get the answer and proceed accordingly.

[figureitout23]

There are quite a lot of those online dating apps. Some are slightly better than others.

Let's say you met and talked to a member of the opposite sex, how long would you wait until you meet them in person? (let's assume you aren't merely looking for sex partner, but just see if they could develop into genuine friendship/relationship?

 

I know it would be mostly girls who would hesitate to meet up with guys, but how long would you keep getting rejected by the same person from meeting up before you stop trying?

 

I have been trying to get this girl out, she would ask me to bring her on my long-haul trips, yet she gave lame excuses of "I got fatter these days, let me lose some weigh first before meeting up with you". She would also say "If I had a boyfriend like you did to your ex girlfriend, I would have fall for that guy completely."

 

I see those messages as baits for attentions only, am I right?

 

Let's discuss.

 

Theres just too many other options when it comes to online dating to wait around for a flake. Never worth the drama in my eyes.

[moneymkt]

Honestly, I don't like online dating apps these days because people there are not serious about relationships I think. As for me, I prefer such dating websites People there are more certain about what they want and it is not a problem to meet them in person if you are interesten in each other. I have met about 5 girls from there and all of them were really very lovely. I hope that I will find my SO there soon

 

I agree which is why I am about to delete Bumble and Tinder