Can't get over girlfriends past affair

[Shoots]

My girlfriend and I been together for a little over a year now. It's going great but something lingers in the back of my mind sometimes. When me and my girlfriend were just starting to be a thing, we didn't have full on sex right away (she didn't want to right away) so we were just foreplaying for a couple weeks or so, making out, going on dates, oral.. ect.. during this time we hung out with some of her friends one night and a friend of her relative was there and they had just met this same night. We all got drunk and stuff.. Me and her were making out and doing our thing even in front of the new friend. Then me and her went to her place and her new friend came with because he lived in a different city. The three of us had some drinks and I ended up accidently dropping a big sized bottle. I'm talking glass and liquor everywhere. So me and my now girlfriend started cleaning it up. About half way through cleaning it up she tells me to just go home.. she has to wake up super early for work anyway. So I did. The next morning I get a text from her saying "he told me he likes me" and then I was like what do you mean? Then she said "we went all the way last night". Then I asked her about the friend and her and she said yeah we had sex last night. My heart was broken. So the next day I told her how I felt. She claimed that he raped her. And that she doesn't want this to affect us. I questioned her about it everyday for about 2 weeks. Why didn't you force him away? Why did you just let it happen? Why don't you call the cops? Why don't you go get help? She didn't. And she didn't want my help either. So I got suspicious that she is lying to make her not seem like a . (Greedy of me i know) Then I really did when she still had him on social media and still like his posts and such. She still claims it was rape. But why would you have someone who raped you on social media or not call the cops? I asked her if She or he can and the only reply I get is I don't know I don't think so. She will be mad at me for weeks if I tell her how I feel about it so I don't anymore. But i also dont want to be with a girl that outs out easy then lies about it. So here I am asking for help on what to say to her. She also had sex with her ex during that time.

[Giblesp]

Tell the police right away.

[Clio]

The story you described is bizarre and at the very least indicates that she is in no position to foster a healthy relationship with anyone. The fact that she still has him on social media and still likes his posts indicates that she is either in dire need of help from an accredited mental health specialist or a sociopathic liar. Carrying on the relationship with her as it is, given how she treated you and her avoidance of basic straightforward questions with "I don't know I don't think so" is unwise. Insist that she seeks professional help and break up with her. For whatever reason, she is in no position to have a healthy relationship. She cannot be trusted, her communication style is TOXIC for your mental health and overall this relationship has the potential to leave you with major emotional baggage if you carry it on. The fact that you got this far with her given how she treated you indicates that you really need to upgrade your standards and work on your own personal issues that led you to settle for such a toxic relationship.

[MissCanuck]

I don't think this was rape.

 

I think she had consensual sex with him and is lying to you. A rape victim would generally not be willingly and casually interacting with her attacker at all afterward. I'm sorry OP, but this woman sounds like bad news.

[Keyman]

So, while she was not having sex with you because she 'didn't want to right away', she shagged some guy after sending you home AND was having sex with her ex as well.

 

I don't accept the rape claim. If she is willing to tell you, then why not go to the police? And why keep him on social media? The kicker for me is that she sent you home and you left her with some strange guy at her place.

 

Why are you still with this girl? Please note that the only acceptable answer to this is 'Because I like being a doormat.'

[Jeetsun]

I agree with what others had said, this wasn't a rape. This sounds like a **** test on her end to gauge your responses with how she conducts herself to see if she can manipulate you any which way she wants. Disembark from this one asap, as Clio said, this sounds like an emotional train wreck she could impose upon you.

[Vicky89]

Oh you know that's NOT rape, she has him on social media and liking his posts AFTER sex, funny how with you she didn't want to go all the way, yet with this guy it was no problem.

 

 

She cheats on you and then she lies to save herself saying that he raped her, she takes no responsibilities for her actions whatsoever. She kind of just sounds like a common hoe.

 

Plenty of those "been there done that passed around girls " at your local bar or club, you don't make those types your girlfriend.

 

" Can't get over girlfriends past affair"

 

Well I got news for you, you shouldn't !

[Quidam]

the only one lying in this story is you to yourself... come on you know whats up

[reinventmyself]

Then she said "we went all the way last night".

 

So the next day I told her how I felt. She claimed that he raped her. And that she doesn't want this to affect us..

 

First she tells you that this guy admits her likes her and they went all the way.

The following day she calls it rape?

She also had sex with her ex during this time?

 

My friend. . you know the answer here. If you need to hear it . . `run'

[Shoots]

I know I just love her so much... and idk she's the best I've had and don't think i could find better. I sat down with her today and we talked about it. She now claimed that it wasn't really rape.. but she did tell him no.. and she ended up just letting it happen. She tells me she didn't see it being too big of deal and just let him have sex with her because she was really drunk. She says he put it in her with her shorts turned to the side and he did all the work. Which is more believable. I don't know what to do... I really love her but then again I don't want that hurt feeling consume me. I mean I really want to be with her.. and we weren't technically dating st the time anyway. What should i do?

[lostlove76]

I mean, you now know that she's a liar. She will lie and play the victim when it suits her. Honestly, people like her are why I often doubt rape claims. She doesn't sound at all trustworthy.

[Capricorn3]

she's the best I've had and don't think i could find better

 

What should i do?

If she's the best you have ever had I would hate to know what the worst was.

 

What to do? I have a strong feeling no matter what anyone tells you to do, you will ignore it all and do what you want to do. The writing is on the wall with this one, but if you choose to stay with her, that's on you.