Thoughts, Rants, and Musings

[Jibralta]

I get the impression that it is very important to him to feel like he is powerful or intimidating.

 

Another thing is, cops tend to stick together and cover for each other.

[dias]

I get the impression that it is very important to him to feel like he is powerful or intimidating.

 

Another thing is, cops tend to stick together and cover for each other.

 

Many cops became cops in order to feel that they have some sort of power. They really enjoy that.

 

Yeah, they will cover him but they will also tell him to tone down. They don't want problems usually.

[reinventmyself]

 

A couple of days ago, I heard him on the phone in the hallway shouting, "B*tch, you don't tell me what to do!" (Did I mention he refers to women as b*tches? Yeah, he does). I thought, Oh sh-t. Their relationship is over and he's going to start blasting his stereo again....

 

He sounds like a peach.

He has the capability of making your life miserable, as if he hasn't already.

I don't think calling the cops on a cop is a good idea. Does he live within his district?

Let's hope he's curled up in fetal position nursing his broken (evil) heart.

[Jibralta]

Many cops became cops in order to feel that they have some sort of power. They really enjoy that.

 

Yeah, they will cover him but they will also tell him to tone down. They don't want problems usually.

 

Agree and agree. And he can find subtle little ways to make my life harder.

[Jibralta]

Does he live within his district?

 

Yep.

 

Let's hope he's curled up in fetal position nursing his broken (evil) heart.

 

No, he's getting noisier. I could hear him blabbing/shouting over here, which is what prompted me to post.

[reinventmyself]

Yep

 

.

 

Depending on the culture of his department, this will go one of two ways.

 

He'll sit up straight due to zero tolerance and the fact that a formal complaint is now documented.

 

Or. . there's the good 'ol boy culture going on and he now adds spitefulness on top of his already nasty demeanor.

 

No matter what, you aren't going to be his favorite neighbor any longer.

 

I would pay him another visit with my phone first. With a big fat grin on my face :)

[thealchemist]

I've met only a handful of law enforcement in my life that weren't total @ssholes.

 

I feel for you.

 

My college roommates and I had a cop neighbor that was also a huge .

 

We did not deal well with him.

[Jibralta]

Fortunately, his friend left early last night and he didn't get any noisier.

 

I would pay him another visit with my phone first. With a big fat grin on my face :)

 

I don't know what the culture is at the police department in this town, but I'm going to err on the side of good 'ol boy culture. I think the phone thing would be my best bet, but I doubt I'll catch him off guard with that again so I have to be clever about it.

 

I've thought about recording the dates and plates of all the cars he parks around here, and the dates and times he parks his cruiser behind the building. Then sending an anonymous letter to the chief and maybe the mayor. But I'd really rather do other things with my time!!

 

My college roommates and I had a cop neighbor that was also a huge .

 

We did not deal well with him.

 

I wish I was still 20 and able to get away with outrageous sht. But there's not much tolerance for wayward 40-year olds.

[Jibralta]

My boyfriend and I went to one of those painting and drinking places last night. It was a lot of fun. We each painted half of an elephant head. Both halves come together to form a whole elephant head. It turned out really cool. He wants to hang them over our bed, but I'm afraid they will crash down on our heads when we sleep. They aren't heavy or anything but it would be very unpleasant.

 

The downside of that fun night was that we both drank too much wine. I woke up this morning feeling like a big piece of poo. I skipped my 7:30AM spin class and probably lost the $25--we'll see if they credit me. I forced myself to go to horseback riding at 11AM because if I skipped that one it would cost me a lot more than $25. I had to squeeze into my pants like a sausage. I am fat and it's high time for me to drop 15 pounds. The pants are supposed to be tight but they should not be this tight. The restrictive feel of the waistband was very unwelcome on my already angry belly. I just wanted to recline on the couch or lie flat on my back in bed, but instead I had to sit upright for 20 minutes to drive to the stable. Then I had to sit upright on the back of a horse and get bounced around for a half an hour. But I actually felt better after that!

 

Now I'm back to feeling like a pile of poo.

[Jibralta]

I'm really good at this thing called beadweaving. I don't have any sewing experience, but somehow when I'm using a needle and thread in this technique, my intuition for what to do next is really strong. Maybe it has something to do with pattern recognition. I make decisions without thinking, and they work, and it's like I'm an audience watching myself sew. I keep seeing this thing happen over and over again and wondering at it.

[Jibralta]

Despite the fact that United States likes to paint itself as fair-minded it is quite prone to witch hunts, both in the literal and figurative sense. I feel we are in the midst of another witch hunt. It started to gain traction about 20 years ago and has been slowly building ever since. Llast week something happened that made me go a little cold.

 

A really smart guy that I work with said, "Ever since the Republicans came into office, I've been getting tons of spam phone calls. I think they overthrew the Do Not Call Registry."

 

Well, I've been dealing with spam phone calls for almost 10 years. I've been on the Do Not Call Registry since it first came into being. But it stopped being effective the minute technology to spoof caller IDs came into existence.

 

It took an inordinate amount of effort to convey this information to my coworker. He was very attached to the idea of a Republican conspiracy and I actually felt like he was going to accuse me of being a Republican, or a Republican sympathizer.

 

Finally, I was able to use 800Notes to show him the history of spam phone calls that I'd personally been dealing with dated back to 2010. Once he wrapped his head around the spoofing technology, he seemed a little more reasonable. But seeing someone like him so brainlessly reactive was chilling.

 

What do you do when thinking people stop thinking?

[Jibralta]

My big boss sent me an email on Friday with a copy of my resume: "Please update. There is no RA after your name and I need dates for your education and for what."

 

I love abrupt, terse statements like this. Really.

 

(Actually, I came across another such statement today while going through old emails to help me update my resume. It made me laugh out loud. This was sent to me last year from a British ex-pat coworker, as taciturn as they get: "But are the damages in the function in 1000s or are they straight dollars? You know I can't take your fancy pivot tables." hehehehehe. I don't know why I find that so funny but I do.)

 

ANYHOO my resume is really a wreck. I've pretty much half-assed it all my life. But updating my resume is my number one priority this year. I've been avoiding it for almost two months so I took my boss's request as A Sign to get my ass in gear.

 

I remembered seeing a good-looking resume in a project proposal. It was for one of the hoity-toity new upper management dudes that does nothing but get promoted for no reason and paid a lot more money than he's worth. I figured I wanted to look as good as he did on paper. So I dug up the proposal and copied the format that he used and now my resume looks AWE-SOMMME.

 

Mid-resume revamp, I had to attend a meeting. My big boss came in to ask what the correct term was for an unlicensed engineer. This spurred a short debate about nomenclature. After the meeting, I stopped by that boss's office and continued with the job-title conversation. He said, "Actually, that's one of the reasons I asked you to update your resume. When I go in, I want to have bullets in my gun."

 

That made me smile. I can picture him smashing through someone. He smashes through everything. He reminds me of a rhinoceros. He can't help it.

 

My resume seems to be taking forever to finish. But it's coming together. There's a company that I'd really like to work for, and today I noticed they were hiring for positions that I could apply for. It took a lot of self control not to upload my new-fangled near-complete resume to their site right then and there. What stopped me is the construction project that I'm on. I want to see it out through substantial completion, which could be as late as December. Also, I'm curious to see if they're going to give me that RAISE that I asked for.

 

My boss hasn't responded to my email from two weeks ago, and that's odd for him.

[Jibralta]

My first roommate in college had a beautiful speaking voice. It just had such a lovely tone. I said to her, "You have such a nice voice. Do you sing at all?" She said, "No." She said she'd never played an instrument.

 

I'd recently heard that there was a music hall on campus that had rooms with pianos. You could go in there and play them. I thought, "I've got to get this girl in front of a piano."

 

So, she and I went out and found the music hall.

 

I figured I'd show her the bass line of Heart and Soul. It's a very simple repetition that can be dressed up or dumbed down as needed. Then I'd play the melody and we'd be jammin.

 

Well, this poor girl couldn't get it. It didn't matter how simple I made the pattern. It was like there was a wall that notes couldn't get through. She couldn't tell if she hit the right note or not. And when I marked the right keys in the right order, she didn't know when to hit them.

 

I've never met anyone like that before or after. I've always thought it particularly ironic that this beautiful voice was trapped in a person who could never use it.

[Jibralta]

I’m pretty sure that I just walked down the hallway here at work with my skirt stuck in my pantyhose.

 

On that day that I walked down the hallway with my skirt stuck in my pantyhose, there was a guy walking behind me. Young kid. I don't know him, but we say "hi" or exchange a friendly smile when we see each other. He was probably thirty feet away, but there's no way he missed my wardrobe malfunction. I saw him again Wednesday, for the first time since The Incident. He looked extremely uncomfortable and avoided eye contact with me. I've obviously traumatized him with my ass. I vaguely wish I could say something to smooth things over, but he's just going to have to come to terms with it himself. Until he finds himself in a situation where his skirt gets stuck in his pantyhose for everyone to see, he just won't understand what a big deal it isn't. But chances are, he won't be in that situation anytime soon. At least not at work.

[Jibralta]

I have a friend from graduate school who was (and still is) a huge player. His name is John. I liked him as a friend, but I was always beating up on him and telling him to eff off because he could get pushy and try to take advantage of people. He always sat near me, so I was basically always yelling at him. I guess he liked it.

 

Anyway, there was this girl who joined our class during the second year. Her name was Jessica and she was from Wisconsin. When she met John, she fell HARD. I mean, really hard--she ended her relationship of four years over him. And she didn't particularly seem to like me, probably because John paid a lot of attention to me (she and I are now friends, by the way. It took a couple of years, but she came around).

 

For a little while, Jessica and John had something going. But at some point, it started to come apart. I don't know what happened. Thankfully, they didn't air their dirty laundry for all to see. They just started to avoid each other. I felt a little bad for Jessica, that she made such a sacrifice for such a guy.

 

A year or so passed. Everyone got on with their lives. One day, John had me listen to this song by MGMT, Electric Feel. I thought it was cool. Then the next day he played it for me. And the next day. It wasn't unusual for him to get me to listen to a song, but I didn't really understand why he kept playing this one over and over again for me. But, I enjoyed it so I was like, whatever.

 

One day, Jessica was in the studio with us, and John said, "Jibralta." Then he played the song. I smiled and gave him the thumbs up. Then I saw Jessica's face and realized that this had been their song. And I thought, what an ass he is. He obviously set that up for her to see. I don't think he played that song for me anymore, after that.

 

But I still play it for myself, because I like it.

 

Too bad about Jessica and John. She's way better off without him, though.

 

[Jibralta]

I'm currently navigating the feelings of a crush. It's total nonsense. But it is amazing how intoxicating the feeling is. How it bends my thoughts in a direction. It has the same influence over my thoughts now as it does when I am single. The fact that I am very happy, very content in my relationship does not stop it from turning my thoughts. I know that hormones are powerful things, but it is amazing to see it from this vantage point.

 

Don't worry. I'm no fool.

[thealchemist]

That sucks.

 

Infatuation fades at least.

 

I've always been very curious to this though.

 

My wife has had crushes a few times while we dated and I never understood it.

 

If it was just an overt sexual connection that made you want someone like that I could get it.

 

Or if they had a charismatic personality.

 

But every time it was with some antisocial and unattractive person...

 

Good luck to you.

[Jibralta]

That sucks.

 

Infatuation fades at least.

 

I've always been very curious to this though.

 

My wife has had crushes a few times while we dated and I never understood it.

 

If it was just an overt sexual connection that made you want someone like that I could get it.

 

Or if they had a charismatic personality.

 

But every time it was with some antisocial and unattractive person...

 

Haha. It really does defy explanation.

 

 

Good luck to you.

 

Thanks. I will take that luck, even though I doubt I'll need it. I've reached a point in my life where I understand and appreciate the value of a good partner and a good relationship. The thrill of infatuation does not compare. Still, better safe than sorry.

[dias]

If it's one sided crush, it will fade fast. If it's mutual, well, better avoid being around that person.

[Jibralta]

You are right. Avoidance is a good safety measure. And that will be easy. It's not a person that I see on a daily basis, he and I never speak at great length, and we are never alone. I don't know what got into me all of a sudden for the crush to 'flower' like this. I've been dealing with this guy for at least six months and have actually been mostly annoyed by him. I think that part of the cause is that his friends/coworkers have started to make a big deal of it when I come around. It makes me laugh, and laughing charms me a little.

[dias]

It doesn't seem a serious crush. Avoiding him is the best tactic.

 

I know it because it happened to me the previous semester. I was in the guy's position though. There is a girl that lives in my accommodation building and we used to chat when we met in the elevator, yard etc (nothing serious, some minutes). Her girlfriends teased her when I was around. But she has a boyfriend who ,based on his facial expression when he looked at me, he knew about me. Frankly, I didn't know that she had a boyfriend. Anyways, at some point she started to avoid me and when I learned she had a boyfriend I backed off. Now, even when we meet we both don't care to talk or even look at each other. Temporary crushes happen to everyone. They fade. No worries :)

[Jibralta]

This thread was closed before I had a chance to respond to it. I was going to respond to it over here anyway, so as not to detract from the original thread.

 

Originally Posted by Jibralta

Right. And probably some did judge me. But really I just had to figure a few things out about myself and what I wanted. I think it was good not to waste other people's time while I did that.

 

Originally Posted by Batya

I hope no one judged you Jibralta just because they did not think you would be a good match for them. Two different things IMO. I agree that you made the right choice for you and yet you still chose to be involved in serious romantic relationships while you learned about yourself and evaluated what you wanted. Apparently you valued being involved in relationships as well as valuing putting in the effort to figure stuff out which can be quite challenging.

 

The first thing I should say is that I really had no idea what was going on at the time. Well, I've been on a quest to know myself since a very early age and always tried to treat people accordingly, like as partners in that journey. But it was only in retrospect that I even considered the possibility that I had a fear of commitment. I really always assumed that I wanted marriage and family. How crazy is that? All this time spent trying to get to know myself, yet still being duped by social convention the whole time.

 

But one thing that stood out to me in Batya's response was this:

 

I hope no one judged you Jibralta just because they did not think you would be a good match for them.

 

My first reaction to this statement was, who cares if they did?

 

And then I thought, why don't I care?

 

So, I thought about it, and I think that I feel so indifferent to it because judgment is a self-limiting thing. When someone judges me, it doesn't really impact me except perhaps to remove one grain of sand from a whole beach of possibility. Once someone makes a judgment, it's really her own mind that has closed. It doesn't mean there are no other alternatives or possibilities. It just means this one person isn't interested in exploring them, or is perhaps unwilling to see them.

 

I can't relate to what "being judged" is supposed to mean. I guess I'm supposed to feel bad when it "happens to me." But the truth is, I don't feel bad. I just feel slightly inconvenienced.

 

This is one of those "I think I should" things that comes up for me every once in a while.

[Jibralta]

I have this friend who died 13 years ago. Anton. He was in my karate class. He was soooo handsome and funny. I had a crush on him. But he was three years younger than me, and that meant he was 21 to my 24, and I didn't know if he was too young. So, I always maintained my distance.

 

Funny story: We used to stand around and talk and laugh after class with my cousin, who was the sensei. I would come to class after work and change into my gi in the bathroom. I would usually throw my work clothes in a pile. One night, we were talking after class: me, my cousin, Anton, and Anton's friend (who reminded me of (young) Glenn Danzig). I had my work clothes bundled under my arm. I have no idea why I didn't stuff them into my duffel bag. All of a sudden, my bra sprung out from my arms and landed on the ground in front of us. Anton and his friend both leaned forward to pick it up. Then they both saw it was a bra and they both stood up so fast!!! They left the bra lying on the ground and I scooped it up as quickly as I could hahahaha! We just kept talking like that didn't just happen hahahaha!

 

Years passed. I was 27, Anton was 24. One day, we were talking about books. I think he was reading Tolkien. I was reading The Last Unicorn. It's my favorite book. I told him all about how wonderful it was.

 

Another year passed. We were at a karate tournament. We sat together between matches. He told me his little brother made fun of him for reading The Last Unicorn. He had been twirling the front of his hair as he read the book. His little brother teased that he was trying to make a horn, "Are you trying to be a unicorn for Jibralta?" We laughed. I was sort of taken aback that he was reading the book. I didn't know what to make of it.

 

A few months later, my cousin--sister to my sensei--called me. She said, "What are you doing?" I said, "Driving." She said, "Can you pull over somewhere?" I said, "Sure." Her voice was totally normal. I didn't sense what was coming next. She said, "Anton was in a motorcycle accident. He went under a tractor trailer. He's dead."

 

You know, my world didn't come crashing down around me. I wasn't consumed with regret for what could have been but never was. I think, actually, I got back on the road and went to my then-boyfriend's house. I don't know if I told him what happened or not.

 

I was saddened. I am still sad when I think of Anton sometimes. Not just because I had a crush on him, but also because he was a cool guy and I know his family really misses him. I miss him. My cousin misses him. I still have his funeral card, and occasionally I stumble upon it and remember him.

[reinventmyself]

So sad J. I can't imagine what parents go through when they have to bury their child. Hurts too much to even go there in my head.

It's nice that you have such sweet memories of him.

[Jibralta]

Thanks. I know, it is so scary to imagine losing someone we love so much.