❌Did i just get stood up????❌

[LolaMilbank]

so what will be the end result then? forgive and forget and try again or toss it?

 

Like i mentioned, i am not angry about it. and i agree with what everyone on here is saying, it was bad communication on both ends. basically what ended up happening was because he didnt ever hit me up telling me he was still coming, i ASSUMED he wasnt. and on his end, he ASSUMED i wouldnt ever want to talk again if he told me he couldnt come, so he just avoided telling me. which, in my opinion, was dumb, because for those 5 days he had me wondering what the happened. what should have happened was he should have told me right away that he wasnt coming. and i guess i could have texted him asking too. but oh well, forgive and forget, if its up to me.

[katrina1980]

SECOND UPDATE:

 

I told him my reasoning as to why i didnt text him on monday confirming our meetup again, and then i asked him why he didnt immediately text me when he realized he wasnt going to meet up with me. this was his answer:

 

"idk it was the second time we were supposed to meet and i ended up not being able to come out there again at the last minute, i just assumed you wouldnt want to talk to me anymore honestly."

 

Thank you for the update. Apparently I gave this guy more credit than he deserved.

 

In any event, his excuse was pretty lame imo.

 

I mean, if that were actually the case, why contact you now? If he assumed you wouldn't want to talk to him then, what made him assume you would want to talk to him NOW, five days later?

 

Doesn't make sense and one reason why I have learned to never trust what a man says unless his words coincide with his actions.

[boltnrun]

Thank you for the update. Apparently I gave this guy more credit than he deserved.

 

In any event, his excuse was pretty lame imo.

 

I mean, if that were actually the case, why contact you now? If he assumed you wouldn't want to talk to him then, what made him assume you would want to talk to him NOW, five days later?

 

Doesn't make sense.

 

Maybe he doesn't have any weekend plans.

[Vicky89]

Sounds like he is married or in a relationship.

 

He has planned out TWO dates with you and has had to cancel it last minute or just not showed up at all.

 

His excuse that he needed an oil change and didn't get one so he couldn't drive an hour to see you is LAME and stupid. Your car will not break down because you drive an hour without an oil change, he could have gone to see you but didn't even reach out to you to tell you he couldn't make it.

 

It sounds to me like he has something going with someone else and he is juggling both of you and it's hard for him to make plans that way. He is keeping you in the back burner.

 

I wouldn't communicate again with this guy, he sounds like a player with lame excuses.

[ParisPaulette]

He totally stood you up, not once but twice or three times if you want to factor in Monday/Tuesday. When they stand you up twice with lame or no excuses it is time to simply block and delete them and examine why you have so little going on in your life you would cling to the idea of pretending he didn't just treat you like dirt. Of course anything you say will be met with another lame excuse or gaslighting you into "you misunderstood me, I never agreed to meet up then."

 

He either has someone else and can't get free, but wants to keep an eye out for when he can meet up for a quick booty call or he's just one of those people who enjoy "collecting" people they know they could get, but have no intentions of really going beyond text/phone buddies. No, it doesn't make sense someone would go to all that trouble, which is why you need to put people like that into the basket of "This one has serious issues of the don't want to get mixed up in this" kind.

 

Blocking him and moving on to the next one is all I will advise you to do or you've just shown him you value yourself so little and are so desperate for any possible attention that you will let him mistreat you. And yes, that only gets worse, never better. There is zero excuse in this day and age of instant communication for anyone to pull that crap, not once but twice or more. And now he's playing the whole "I'm going to make her come to me just to confirm she has no self-respect," routine.

 

Seen it, been there, got the crappy t-shirt. You can do better. Move on and give Mr. No Manners a giant pass.

 

P.S. Oil changes take all of an hour at best, IF one is changing the oil and not just filling it up because it's low - that takes five minutes at most and a can of oil. And you know about a car needing that before a planned date. If he had had any intention at all of meeting you he wouldn't suddenly have chosen to put off making sure his car was in running order before coming to see you. His excuse is so ridiculous it's pretty much the equivalent of saying, "I can't come see you, because I have to put gas in my car." "Well, duh! Ya think, moron?"

 

NOTE: Just saw your update. Still a lame excuse, and a bad communicator. Walk away. I stood you up then didn't call 'cause I knew you wouldn't talk to me indicates pretty low intelligence and poor communication skills. He has no intentions of dating you he wants chat buddies.

[oap81]

It's amazing how two people can't seem to communicate. But anyway he stood you up. Even if the oil change story was real. The least he could have done was text you and let you know. It's called manners.