My Wife Sleeps All Day Even After a Night's Sleep

[surfdog]

Sleepiness and fatigue are common, well-known side effect of Gabapentin. 7-8 hours per night plus a 3-5 hour nap makes 10-13 hours. 13 hours is certainly excessive, 10 not necessarily so (more than average of course, but for someone with an active job and who works out several hours every day, not alarming).

 

I think it's really up to your wife to tackle her medical issues, not you. She has to feel that her current sleeping schedule is a problem, not just you. I'd approach anything more from the point of view of you two improving your relationship, and let her sort out her health.

 

Thanks for the reply........she gets angry when I bring it up. Yesterday I asked her is she was feeling OK, depressed, if she was happy in the marriage etc, etc. She got upset and it turned into an issue. Whenever I bring it up she gets defensive, I feel I can't ask her anything without it turning into an issue.

[surfdog]

Those medications make you so tired you have NO CLUE. All anti-seizure meds make you so tired it's unbelievable . Up until two weeks ago I was taking 850!mg of anti-seizure meds and I was pretty much comatose I would go to work come home sit on the couch roll into bed and that was it . I can barely remember what I'm saying as I'm saying it those meds are nothing to fool with . They make you TIRED. They reduce neuron activity in the brain so much that sometimes it's very hard to function .

 

Thanks, I'll see if I can get the names of the others......

[Fudgie]

I work the same schedule as her in terms of shift yes and shift length and I get that it can be tiring but her sleeping patterns really don't sound normal. Could very well be a side effect of the meds she is on. I also wouldn't discount the possibility of her being dissatisfied with the marriage. I've read the previous threads and it sounds like there is a lot going on. I have no doubt she feels tension and anxiety at times with you.

[mustlovedogs]

Thanks for the reply........she gets angry when I bring it up. Yesterday I asked her is she was feeling OK, depressed, if she was happy in the marriage etc, etc. She got upset and it turned into an issue. Whenever I bring it up she gets defensive, I feel I can't ask her anything without it turning into an issue.

 

You keep saying that you bring it up. You apparently keep asking if she's happy in the marriage.

 

What if the marriage isn't the issue? But mental health, stress, medication, etc?

 

You are forcing her to become defensive. CARE for her instead of ask. Express concern, don't grill her.

 

And stop asking the same questions - especially ones where you project your problems on to her (the marriage)

[journeynow]

Thanks for the reply........she gets angry when I bring it up. Yesterday I asked her is she was feeling OK, depressed, if she was happy in the marriage etc, etc. She got upset and it turned into an issue. Whenever I bring it up she gets defensive, I feel I can't ask her anything without it turning into an issue.

 

Have you told her you are not happy in the marriage? Maybe it's time for marriage counseling to help find a way to navigate this together.

[surfdog]

I work the same schedule as her in terms of shift yes and shift length and I get that it can be tiring but her sleeping patterns really don't sound normal. Could very well be a side effect of the meds she is on. I also wouldn't discount the possibility of her being dissatisfied with the marriage. I've read the previous threads and it sounds like there is a lot going on. I have no doubt she feels tension and anxiety at times with you.

 

 

I'd like to think it's the medication doing this to her.

 

I ask and she says she is happy and all is well. I think I treat her well. I try and plan things, always put her first, cook (not all the time), etc. If she ever tells me she something makes her unhappy I try to change it.

 

What makes you say she wold feel tension and anxiety?

[surfdog]

Have you told her you are not happy in the marriage? Maybe it's time for marriage counseling to help find a way to navigate this together.

 

We tried counseling and it made things worse (even when everything was OK). We both agreed the counselor was not a good fit for us. I'm not sure I'd be comfortable trying again because I feel it may stir the pot when things are OK. My wife will just say everything is fine anyways if we went to another counselor. That does not sit well with me because I feel something is wrong. I think she may be depressed but won't admit it or does not know. All I know is she gets defensive when I ask.

[Seraphim]

I can tell you these meds knock you on your azz. I take them for neurological pain. I forget what I am saying as I say it. I have forgotten how to spell. People have to WAKE me for my next dose because I the alarm doesn't wake me. I no longer dream or not aware of it AT ALL. I could sleep all day everyday whereas before I was a severe insomniac. It is a huge side effect to be tired. Searing pain or so tired you can't function. Great life.

[surfdog]

You keep saying that you bring it up. You apparently keep asking if she's happy in the marriage.

 

What if the marriage isn't the issue? But mental health, stress, medication, etc?

 

You are forcing her to become defensive. CARE for her instead of ask. Express concern, don't grill her.

 

And stop asking the same questions - especially ones where you project your problems on to her (the marriage)

 

Thanks for the reply but I think you're assuming a lot,

 

If the marriage is not the issue then I'd like to see her get the help she needs to feel better, my #1 concern.....

 

I don't ask as much as you seem to think, but I do ask though because 1st, who wouldn't ask?......and 2nd, her well being is my greatest concern. I don't not grille her (not sure why you'd type that). I do care for her but there is only so much I can do, sometimes she seems like she does not want the help.

[Fudgie]

What makes you say she wold feel tension and anxiety?

 

I'm just putting myself in her shoes. I used to be an ex who made me feel like I was walking on eggshells at times and he sometimes asked me questions obsessively about topics and it made me really tense and anxious. It made me feel like I couldn't relax and be myself around him. I worried about "setting him off".

 

I have a feeling that she may feel the same way about you asking her again and again about her happiness and your marriage and this may be why she gets really defensive with you and wants you to leave it alone.

[Wiseman2]

Have you considered that you have very little time off together? 12 hr shifts sound exhausting. Maybe she just likes to relax when she's off. How much do you help around the house? Any narcotics?

gabapentin and two other medications

[journeynow]

We tried counseling and it made things worse (even when everything was OK). We both agreed the counselor was not a good fit for us. I'm not sure I'd be comfortable trying again because I feel it may stir the pot when things are OK. My wife will just say everything is fine anyways if we went to another counselor. That does not sit well with me because I feel something is wrong. I think she may be depressed but won't admit it or does not know. All I know is she gets defensive when I ask.

 

What about you, are you happy? It doesn't sound like you are. Can you be happy if nothing changes?

[surfdog]

Have you told her you are not happy in the marriage? Maybe it's time for marriage counseling to help find a way to navigate this together.

 

 

We tried counseling.......it didn't help, in fact it created more tension but we after we stopped we went for a long time with everything being good. It's just now she is always sick or always tired and everything in our marriage seems to revolve around that. We never go out, we tried date nights but that didn't last long. When I tell her I'm not happy or would like some affection from her she gets angry/distant. I told her I'm in a no win situation and her reply was "There is nothing to win."

 

I just want to know whats doing this to her and also I'd like affection some from her. I never get any attention from her and it's growing on me. I always tell her how pretty she is (I call her the most beautiful woman in existence). I curl up with her in bed at night but it's always me who curls up to her, never the other way. This morning I left for work and gave her a hug, it was like hugging a tree with no limps.......this is a fairly regular occurrence. She said she'd work on it but there has not been much change.

[surfdog]

I'm just putting myself in her shoes. I used to be an ex who made me feel like I was walking on eggshells at times and he sometimes asked me questions obsessively about topics and it made me really tense and anxious. It made me feel like I couldn't relax and be myself around him. I worried about "setting him off".

 

I have a feeling that she may feel the same way about you asking her again and again about her happiness and your marriage and this may be why she gets really defensive with you and wants you to leave it alone.

 

 

Would you be concerned if your SO was sick every day? Also, emotionally and physically distant from you? Along with promises that things would be worked on (but no change). How would you approach that?

[KantSleep]

"This morning I left for work and gave her a hug, it was like hugging a tree with no limps.......this is a fairly regular occurrence. She said she'd work on it but there has not been much change.". Sounds like she is over the marriage - and she is OK with the status quo. Life is too short to be with someone who does not reciprocate your feelings.

[katrina1980]

I can tell you these meds knock you on your azz. I take them for neurological pain. I forget what I am saying as I say it. I have forgotten how to spell. People have to WAKE me for my next dose because I the alarm doesn't wake me. I no longer dream or not aware of it AT ALL. I could sleep all day everyday whereas before I was a severe insomniac. It is a huge side effect to be tired. Searing pain or so tired you can't function. Great life.

 

Yes the meds can knock you out AND they can also mess with your thyroid levels. I think Wiseman mentioned that earlier.

 

OP you said she has had MRIs, cat scans, damn has she had a blood test specifically to check her thyroid function?

 

I am not a doctor of course but extreme fatigue is one of the major symptoms of hypothyroidism or Hashimoto's which are both easily managed with thyroid hormone replacement meds.

 

I am shocked that her doctor has not considered this, it is sooooo common. One more reason why I have no faith in doctors anymore at least here in the US.

 

Many years ago I was misdiagnosed and the meds they prescribed for me nearly killed me!

 

I would suggest she get a second opinion from a different doctor and do some research on line on hypothyroidism and Hashimoto's both of which relate to thyroid dysfunction which again cause EXTREME fatigue such that your wife is experiencing.

 

Surely she can't possibly think her sleeping all the time is normal? Damn if this were me I would seeing every doctor I could find until they figured it out.

 

A simple blood test to check thyroid level would rule it either IN or OUT. And if her thyroid levels are off, the hormone replacement meds will get her back to her old self n a few weeks.

 

Something to consider anyway.

 

Good luck.