Why can't I see one person who liked my boyfriend's new profile pic on Facebook?

[Ladypeace]

Mustlovedogs, I understand your point. Yes, he should be allowed to Snap whoever he wants. IF YOU TRUST HIM to keep things on the up and up. If you know your BF will be loyal to you even though he Snaps other women. But I don't trust him to be loyal to me and I guess I am trying to control his behaviour so he does not cheat on me again.

[mustlovedogs]

Key point. You don't trust him.

 

Not trusting him does NOT mean you get to be controlling. Do you understand that?

 

Break. Up.

[boltnrun]

Mustlovedogs, I understand your point. Yes, he should be allowed to Snap whoever he wants. IF YOU TRUST HIM to keep things on the up and up. If you know your BF will be loyal to you even though he Snaps other women. But I don't trust him to be loyal to me and I guess I am trying to control his behaviour so he does not cheat on me again.

 

How good do you feel while you're trying to do all this "controlling"?

 

How warm and loved and secure do you feel while you're tracking him with a GPS app, checking online for accounts, checking his body for scratches or whatever, checking his Facebook for "likes", probably plowing through his phone looking for texts and emails...Oh, but you LOVE him!

 

So, since you love him, you feel putting yourself through all this policing and stress and anxiety is worth it? You don't trust him but you "love" him, so you're willing to go through ALL THIS to stay with him?

[Annia]

Hi everyone,

 

It's the OP.

 

Here is a new development. I really hope you could tell me what you think based on the new "evidence." If you think it is evidence at all...

 

Last night he texts me at 9:30 and says good night, he is hitting the sheets cause he is tired and can't keep his eyes open; said he was up at 7 that morning and was falling asleep at his desk. Then at 12:30 a.m. I hear him typing something to me on Snapchat. He supposedly went to bed 3 hours earlier. The app always says in the notification window.. So and So is typing... Then I checked the chat window and he wasn't there - his emoji was not there - and there was nothing written. So, it's like he started typing and then changed his mind and went off the app. So, hearing him type, I thought he would get my message right away as I messaged him only a few minutes later. That was at 12:30 p.m. And he never answered me til 10 this morning.

 

So, why did he go on Snapchat at 12:30 and "type" something to me and then change his mind? When he texted me 3 hours earlier to say he was going to bed cause he couldn't keep his eyes open and said good night.

 

He said he was just checking Snapchat before he went to bed in case I messaged him and then he turned off notifications for the night. He does not like the notification sounds waking him up at night.

 

So, to me that seems like a lie. And then he did not hear that I snapped him back literally within a minute? And that he fell asleep when his head hit the pillow? Hmmmm. Apparently he went to sleep 3 HOURS EARLIER!

 

Why would it say he is typing if he was just checking to see if I messaged him? He could see if I sent him something without even going into the chat window. The main screen will show you if you have a NEW chat message.

 

THEN I decided to do a little snooping.

 

He has always sworn that I am his ONLY Snapchat contact on his account.

 

I asked him if he has more than ONE under another email account.

 

He has always denied this.

 

So I found out that he DOES in fact have another Snapchat account under his other email.

 

So, he lied?

 

And why would he have another Snapchat account?

 

I think it's obvious.

 

How do I approach him at this point?

 

I think if I mention I know about the other account, he will weasel his way around it cause he knows I have believed him before.

 

So, not sure how to catch him with this account.

 

But it really is damning, right?

 

My head hurts reading all this.

 

Why not breaking up if you can't trust your boyfriend? He cheated you, why are you holding on living like this?

 

Even if you wanted to make it work with a cheater both of you would have to do the work: you trying to trust him and him showing you that he's capable of being trust again, lots of dialogue and perhaps couples therapy.

 

The way you're doing this at the moment will ruin the relationship even more than it already was after the cheating.

[Annia]

I don't know how one is able to trust a man who has shown he is capable of cheating?

 

So why are you still with him?

 

Mustlovedogs, I understand your point. Yes, he should be allowed to Snap whoever he wants. IF YOU TRUST HIM to keep things on the up and up. If you know your BF will be loyal to you even though he Snaps other women. But I don't trust him to be loyal to me and I guess I am trying to control his behaviour so he does not cheat on me again.

 

If he wants he'll cheat on you no matter how much you control him. People don't cheat because they have the opportunity, they cheat because of their character.

[MissCanuck]

Why are you still with this guy? You're obviously not happy and you already know he isn't trustworthy. I don't get what you're still doing there. You say everything else is great other than this trust issue, but OP, that trust issue is a big deal and clearly everything else is not so great if this is how you're living your life now. It sounds pretty awful, actually. I can't imagine reaching this level of paranoia, but then again, I don't stay with guys who cheat. I require much more from a partner.

 

Obsessing over his social media isn't going to make him not cheat on you again. So what if you dig up "damning" evidence? The worst has already happened; all that evidence would tell you is that he's still at it.

 

What do you plan to do about it?

[Longview01]

This man is driving you crazy, leave him now and save your sanity

[Ms Darcy]

I don't know how one is able to trust a man who has shown he is capable of cheating? And I do not know FOR SURE he actually is. I worry he is. There's a difference. I guess I do not want to leave him based on my own insecurities and paranoia if that is all they are. Because it is a good relationship without the trust problem.

 

Without trust, there is no relationship. Just end it with him since you don't trust him.

[jujusamples]

Do I trust him? Yes

 

This boggles my mind? I skimmed through this thread and there's nothing that said you "trust" him?

 

I'm just going to be frank, it's very immature to be worried about a "like" on Facebook. Really? Do you want to go on the rest of the relationship playing detective? One simple like and just because you can't figure out whom it is, you are freaking out.

 

To answer your question, it happens all the time! It could be the person blocked you or have their settings on private. I have my setting on private so no one other than my FB friends could see my interactions, including my "likes".

 

You clearly don't trust your boyfriend, it's exhausting to carry on a relationship like this. Actually, if my husband is this insecure, I'll run away from him.

 

I understand, your boyfriend cheated on you in the past. It was your decision to forgive him. That's why I always advise people that it's not going to work once someone cheated. You have to be willing to fully forgive (which I know is hard to do) In your case, you have not forgive or forgotten. Now you are paranoid of his EVERY move. A relationship could not carry on like this. One of you is going to explode!

[jujusamples]

I don't know how one is able to trust a man who has shown he is capable of cheating? And I do not know FOR SURE he actually is. I worry he is. There's a difference. I guess I do not want to leave him based on my own insecurities and paranoia if that is all they are. Because it is a good relationship without the trust problem.

 

You really need to seek some help with this, I just read more of this thread. A good relationship can NOT carry forward without TRUST! It is one of the most important component of a relationship.

 

You are obsessing over everything he does, it is not healthy nor is it normal! It is extremely insane in my books. I will go crazy if I have to live like that. Hence, I will never be with anyone whom doesn't trust me. If I was your boyfriend, to be honest, I would have left.

[melodysparks]

You should confront him. And then force him to show you. And accuse him of cheating. And give him an ultimatum. Lol...

[honeybee76]

I do love him. LOL

 

I know, I am crazy!

 

He promised he would change and he made a mistake. It was a one nighter.

 

And he seemed to be on the straight and narrow. Things have been awesome.

 

Til Facebook...

 

Either you trust him or you don't. There is no in between. You sound like you are 12. In that case, stop the non sense and go play with a doll.