Bob2526 Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 So we broke up almost three months ago. I found out she began dating a co worker and I decided not to torture myself and not look into it any further. Anyway tonight a friend of hers popped on up on my match profile under the "view me" section. I'm sure she is going to tell her that I'm on match. Right away, I start thinking of what my ex will think or say. I know she's moving on and I should do the same. Even messaging people back and forth feels strange as I still feel like I'm not ready to date. I guess I already should know that it doesnt matter what she thinks because she broke up with me. She may or may not already be dating someone else and clearly is moving on. Should I delete my profile? I know I shouldn't let her have any power over me anymore as I have been feeling much better. Just looking for some reassurance that I shouldn't care what she thinks. Link to comment
lostlove76 Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Since she moved on immediately, you have every right to do whatever you want - as long as you aren't leading potential dates into thinking you're ready for a relationship if you're not - that wouldn't be fair to them, would it? That aside, you don't need to delete your profile just because your ex's friend saw it. You're not doing anything wrong towards her, since she has already started dating. Link to comment
SherrySher Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 It's been three months which is long enough time to be respectful over the break up and if she was going to get back together with you, she would have by now. She is the one who broke up with you and is already dating, so don't let her hold you back from moving on with your life. You have a right to happiness too. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Should I delete my profile? There is no 'should,' so do you 'want' to delete it? You took the time to construct it, and you can always just hide it for a while. Three months may not be a long enough time for you to feel ready to date. That's personal, not something that anyone else can vote on FOR you. It can take a long time and lots of lousy matches to find someone you'd even feel like you really want to date. So one option is to use the app for speed-meets rather than trying to get dates. Speed meeting is just that--you don't spend a lot of time messaging or phoning trying to build a fantasy, you just meet for coffee for 15 to 30 minutes to check one another out. Rules are that neither can ask the other for a real date on the spot, but either can contact the other to invite them afterward. If the answer is yes, the other responds, and if not, then no response is necessary. This takes the squirmy rejection stuff off the table. You may find that it takes quite a few speed meets before you find someone inspiring enough to date, and meanwhile, you may have healed enough from your breakup to feel like you're dating material. Take your time. Link to comment
Matt3939 Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Buddy I was on match and will be again that stuff costs $$$ don't delete it unless you meet somone. Link to comment
Betterwithout Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 I'm not ready to date. If you feel you are not ready to date, don't. or at least be clear if you just want to be casual (FWB, etc) I know I shouldn't let her have any power over me anymore as I have been feeling much better. Don't be too worried about her having "power" over you. Move on in a healthy fashion, not trying to get even or be at the same level as her. Glad to hear you are feeling much better. Take this time to look after yourself, cross off some items on your bucket list, or do lots of "guy things" women don't like to do. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Excellent you took the don't look back approach and are out there on dating sites again. It may feel like messaging and meeting women for coffee is numb and in robot mode but that's ok, it at least gets the ball rolling. No don't delete you profile because of this flashback. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other as you have been. Take a deep breath and say to yourself 'who gives crap what she thinks' then browse for more profiles and message whoever you want. I'm sure she is going to tell her that I'm on match.Even messaging people back and forth feels strange as I still feel like I'm not ready to date. Link to comment
Bob2526 Posted March 17, 2017 Author Share Posted March 17, 2017 Thanks for all the advice my friends. I will take this advice and continue to move forward. In the mean time I will continue browsing. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.