confused910 Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Hello all! I have been visiting these forums for quite some time but figured I'd ask your opinion directly on this one I apologize for its length and I promise it's a quick read, but any insight would be greatly appreciated My ex and I broke up about a year ago with the intention on getting back together at some point in the future. We loved each other very, very much but she had to mature and get her life together in a major way. I only felt like I was in the way of her doing so and was scared of what would happen if she didn't straighten her own life out. I took the high road and left, telling her that I would be there for her always and throughout what she was going through. It was amicable. She simply wasn't ready for a relationship in any way. Right person, wrong time. Since then, we have spoken a handful of times, but she always will initiate contact then run away from it. For instance, we bumped into each other on the street one day months after the breakup and we spoke for about fifteen minutes. She held my hand while speaking to me (it was an emotional conversation) and even invited me out to lunch later on three different times. But then when I texted her about the lunch days later, she never responded. We spoke another time since then months later in which she told me she would speak to me soon, but I never heard from her after that. About a week later, she posted a cryptic message on social media about how two people could be so in love but not in the same place to make it work. Yet I know that she hasn't been in a true relationship since our breakup. Most recently, about a month ago, she contacted me for my birthday four days before my actual birthday at 3 AM saying "Hope that you're well. Your birthday is coming up!" Which I thought was odd, as if she has some countdown going on. The fact that it was at 3 AM sounded impulsive to me too. I responded in the morning, she responded once twelve hours later, then never wrote back again. I confronted her about why she does this to me about two weeks ago and she said that she doesn't always think before she acts and she didn't mean to harm me ever at all. I personally took that as meaning that she is impulsive, which was a frequent problem when we were together (she acts with her heart and not with her head). She has many mental issues (that I helped her through and I love her to death), and her anxiety often keeps her away from the situations she truly wants the most. She is an extremely avoidant individual when she gets nervous or anxious, shutting down for months at a time. She is also terrified of intimacy and commitment and that became a deterrent as well, giving us a very push-pull dynamic. I suppose my question is, what do you make of her response? And is it really possible to text an ex at 3 AM for their birthday days in advance when you certainly are not friends and mean absolutely nothing by it? I have been speaking to people since, but I suppose my mind still wanders from time to time about what really went on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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