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had two dates w/ this guy but I feel ignored; confused about it;he planned a 3th


Belgian girl

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Thank you

If I would be sure to trust him I would like to

 

You cannot trust him.

He only wants sex.

Don't trust him,

Find a man who wants to get to know you through conversation and does not want to have sex right away - a man who wants a meaningful relationship. This guy found you again to see if you would have sex.

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You're not in love. You just think you have to be because you had unprotected sex with him. And in your mind, being "in love" justifies the unprotected sex.

 

Best thing is to get tested for STDs and do not ever again allow unprotected sex until and unless you are in a committed love relationship with a man who agrees you two are committed.

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Belgian, do you think if you give him what he wants that he will love you?

 

His actions do not say love, or even respect. You are falling all over yourself to give him what he wants when he puts very little effort into fostering any kind of relationship with you. He can't even be bothered to maintain regular contact, yet you want to expose yourself to a TON of risk both with STDs and pregnancy. You don't know this man at all. He called you after a year because he hit a dry spell and is pinging his contacts looking for sex. You should have told him to kick rocks because you value yourself more than to be a backup hookup.

 

Giving him the unprotected sex he wants will not make him love you. He's out on the prowl, as soon as a more convenient opportunity presents herself he will likely disappear again.

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I guess it's the oxytocin land my religion which makers me deel in live ans I agree with your wise wordt

He said by the way/agreed tot be willing to do std test and said he had done that before first meeting

Hello, Belgian.

 

Normally, I would not post in a thread that is so thoroughly well answered, but your seeming persistence in pursuing further interaction with this chap makes me awfully concerned for you.

 

The replies you've received are just, unequivocally, dead bang on point. Fortuitously, the above posters are among the top shelf members that I have thus far encountered, and I dearly hope you'll go back over their feedback and concern for your questions and your situation with an open mind. And then go back over it, again.

 

Particularly with an eye to how the information affects you, and you alone, independent of this fellow or any other.

 

Please recognize that the unifying theme in these posts to you has been about *you* and what is in *your* best interests.

 

Please further note that the fellow at the crux of your present turmoil is not, himself, seemingly concerned in the slightest with the same - you and your best interests.

 

Most critically, please be willing to follow the forum's lead and put yourself front and center in your own intelligent, informed and proactive care and attention.

 

You deserve to be safe and secure and you are the best and often only advocate you can rely on to make sure this is a genuine priority in your life.

 

Whatever this fellow is thinking, whyever he might be thinking it, he is certainly not demonstrating any appreciable consideration, care or respect for you. My profound suggestion is to stop thinking about him.

 

Start thinking of yourself and what you truly want and need, and do not settle for less. You have the right and the privilege to remove any influence from him, and place it on yourself and your well-being, mind, heart and body. You are worth it.

 

So please, please do.

 

I wish you luck, regardless your decision. You deserve much better treatment than this fellow is giving you and I urgently hope you gift it to yourself.

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I guess it's the oxytocin land my religion which makers me deel in live ans I agree with your wise wordt

He said by the way/agreed tot be willing to do std test and said he had done that before first meeting

 

Good on you for sticking up for yourself! I'm relieved that he responded reasonably. Keep being your own champion.

 

I hope you will keep the forum updated. I wish you good luck, Belgian. Cheers.

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He said he was tested before your first meeting. But wasn't that a YEAR ago?

 

Those tests could be totally invalid now. Especially if he engages in unprotected sex (like he's trying to do with you).

 

And your "age" doesn't mean you have to try to convince yourself you're "in love" with a man. You don't just latch onto the first man who gives you attention because you're getting older. It's better to hold out for a quality man who truly wants to be a partner with you, not some man who contacts you once a year for sex.

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@dahl i think the reason he had been online day and nicht and as paid member at datingsite he found me back in order to make the 2nd apointment we have had.. Has (at least) been the result of my response to one of his text messages he sent during his way back home. He texted for example 'I don't know yet when I will be back.' and 'Only meet up with me .'

I explained the strange thing about the plans seems to me to be is our final goals aren't exactly the same and i'm against abortion

Yesterday i texted him 'I think it is always wrong to make yourself pregnant secretly as a woman'

Haven't noticed him online since then

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@dahl i think the reason he had been online day and nicht and as paid member at datingsite he found me back in order to make the 2nd apointment we have had.. Has (at least) been the result of my response to one of his text messages he sent during his way back home. He texted for example 'I don't know yet when I will be back.' and 'Only meet up with me .'

I explained the strange thing about the plans seems to me to be is our final goals aren't exactly the same and i'm against abortion

Yesterday i texted him 'I think it is always wrong to make yourself pregnant secretly as a woman'

Haven't noticed him online since then

 

Eep. What do you think this means, Belgian? Or has he done anything similar in the past?

 

You deserve so much more!

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