demiel23 Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 Me and my girl were together for 5years. Highschool sweet hearts. 3 kids and all. Im 22 and she is 20. We had an arguement 3 weeks ago and now we split. I hit her. I regret it. The part that hurts the most is she dont want to leave me. She said she is still attached to me and not ready to let me go. So she didnt move out. This past sunday i found out since we split that she has been with another guy at her job. They havent had sex but just the sexual touching. We talked about it and she said its just bcuz he was there for her. Now they hang out she spends the night at his house. But she still lives with me. I told her to go and be happy..... she said she doesnt want to be with him. She still wants me and isnt ready for life after me. So i am confused on what to do. She said she knows that the guy might not care and he and her both decided they dont wanna be together but they still hangout and talk. She told me in time we will get back together... is this true? I hope so.... i love her with all my heart and i cant imagine life without her and my kids. Why is she still attached to me after i did this? She says she isnt ready to let me go and she still cares about me and she needs me emotionally. We still have sex and everything like we used to. We just arent official anymore. I need help. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 Sorry to hear this . She should have gone to the police and a domestic violence shelter after you hit her, not to another guy or worse, staying with you. What do you mean you still live together have sex but are "not official"? Can she live with family or friends until you get counseling for being an abuser? Plus she should move out if she wants to date others. 3 kids and all. Im 22 and she is 20. We had an arguement 3 weeks ago and I hit her. We still have sex and everything like we used to. Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 Why is she still attached? Becauase you two were together 5 yrs. Now... first of all.. YOU should consider anger mgmt.. or some therapy... maybe you have some deep seeded anger? To lash out the way you did? I feel you both need some separate down-time. 3 kids at your age.. is a LOT of pressure! Time for you both to let things settle down a bit.. and eventually work things out.. eventually. As for this other guy.. if she did get involved with him... it'd be a rebound.. those are never good Totally messes your mind & heart up more. Good.. if she's laying off him. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 She told me in time we will get back together... is this true? I hope so.... i love her with all my heart and i cant imagine life without her and my kids. Why is she still attached to me after i did this? She says she isnt ready to let me go and she still cares about me and she needs me emotionally. We still have sex and everything like we used to. We just arent official anymore. I need help. Just as soon as she is done figuring out if she is safe banging this other dude or not, you'll have the truth. Have some balls and tell her no. Stay married or get out. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 I can't imagine the damage this is doing to your children. Between being in an environment involving physical abuse/cheating, etc, I have to wonder who has their best interest in mind. In short, it's time to decide to either get professional help and work on the relationship, or leave. In addition to that, I'm surprised DCF hasn't already stepped in. Link to comment
demiel23 Posted November 23, 2016 Author Share Posted November 23, 2016 She told me she wants to see where his head is at and if he seriously cares or is just down for the ride. The other night they talked and she said he avoided the convo about where the stuff between them is headed. the moment she does live with me. We are not married. She said she needs to see me happy b4 she moves out or leaves and i told her that her and the kids are my happiness and itll take a while to be haooy. She said she doesnt care and will still as long as she needs to. She said no matter what guy she dates ill always come first. I asked her to move out and she refuses..... Link to comment
demiel23 Posted November 23, 2016 Author Share Posted November 23, 2016 She can go to her moms but she doesnt want to. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 Why don't you move out before there's more violence and you get arrested? I asked her to move out and she refuses..... Link to comment
demiel23 Posted November 23, 2016 Author Share Posted November 23, 2016 Why don't you move out before there's more violence and you get arrested? I want to ...... but ita going to kill me to see her happier with someone else Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 So.. she is weighing the odds? Waiting on this other guy? She is FAR from ready to get involved again... BUT, that's another chapter. For now.. as mentioned.. maybe you should remove yourself! Get out of this... deal with your own self. And work on arranging visitation with the kids.. etc. Sadly, I feel this is all going to fail.... Dont you think too much damage done? Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 I want to ...... but ita going to kill me to see her happier with someone else You both need to think of what you're doing to those kids. Who did you plan on keeping the kids when you asked her to move out? Link to comment
happyfrank Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 First things first. You need to go find psychological help. You should never hit a girl. Second. The new guy means nothing to her. He is just the rebound guy. If he accepted her while she is with somebody else with kids. He has problems too. The emotional connection with you is stronger. The best thing you can do is focus on being a good father and getting some help. Also I recommend dumping her. Why be with somebody that doesn't respect you. In due time. You will find somebody better. You're better than this. Sorry but this girl isn't the one. Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 okay..op..i don't see you commenting on the fact that one doesn't hit their spouse without some serious psychological issue being present. please get help. leave it unattended and your children will suffer damage, whether or not someone calls the cps. please do it. Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 also, i am wondering how you ended up with children so young. not that i find an issue with it but i have a nagging feeling it's connected to your tendency to lash out and feel dissociated by the sounds of it. Link to comment
virserum111 Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 No wonder. You need to let her move on for her own good (and safety) and as for you, don't get into another relationship and god forbid have more children until you sort out your anger problems. There is no excuse or sympathy involved in someone hitting their spouse. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 also, i am wondering how you ended up with children so young. not that i find an issue with it but i have a nagging feeling it's connected to your tendency to lash out and feel dissociated by the sounds of it. Happens, happened. Link to comment
Salty Posted November 24, 2016 Share Posted November 24, 2016 End it and work hard on becoming very good friends and stellar Co-parents. Don't get your kids involved and both of you speak highly of eachother to you kids while you seek personal therapy. Link to comment
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