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Let's make a long list of what's good about not being in a relationship

Tinkyonks

By Tinkyonks
in Personal Growth

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Wolfshook Community Regular

Wolfshook

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Easier to ballance your time.

 

No feeling that you have to do something you dont want to (compromises eh?)

 

More time to read and learn stuff.

 

Nobody is "holding you down"

 

Not feeling like you have to respond to some pointless message right away

 

Financially easier

 

You owe no explanations

 

You can say yes to almost anything

 

Go out whenever you want

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boltnrun Grand Master

boltnrun

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Let's see...my husband was an antisocial control freak who didn't want me to have any friends or to associate with even my own family (although he's an excellent father).

My boyfriend after that was a crack addict.

The guy I dated after him was an egotistical, chauvinistic cheater.

The guy I dated after that guy was a liar, a cheater and a drug user.

 

Hmmm...wonder why I'm taking a break from dating? My "man chooser" was obviously on the fritz. I'll date again when I can trust myself to make good choices. And not before then.

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boltnrun Grand Master

boltnrun

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Well then. Two thumbs up for you for speaking your mind! I don't like to guess.

 

I don't either.

 

If I want something I ask for it. No -footing around for me (I expect that to get edited out, but I'm not being profane). I figure, the worst thing the other person can do is say no, and I'm no worse off than I was before I asked. And who knows, they might say yes!

 

And I will straight out say "I felt disrespected when you invited me to travel with you this weekend and you parked me in the hotel room by myself, telling me you were going to try to 'hook up' with another woman". Well, that did happen and I didn't speak up at the time. I sure would now!

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Jeffbobo Collaborator

Jeffbobo

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I don't either.

 

If I want something I ask for it. No -footing around for me (I expect that to get edited out, but I'm not being profane). I figure, the worst thing the other person can do is say no, and I'm no worse off than I was before I asked. And who knows, they might say yes!

 

And I will straight out say "I felt disrespected when you invited me to travel with you this weekend and you parked me in the hotel room by myself, telling me you were going to try to 'hook up' with another woman". Well, that did happen and I didn't speak up at the time. I sure would now!

 

Wow, that sucks. ☹️ I was thinking more in the lines of, I forgot to put the toilet seat down a few times... I surely would if you brought it up.

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Tinkyonks Apprentice

Tinkyonks

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Absolutely Lisa.

 

It's fun/ok to say these things when we miss a relationship... so we take our time healing before going into another relationship.

 

there is definitely a positive to a lot of these things... like being "groped" at the right time.... - and having someone to snuggle with in bed... when the bedroom is tidier, when the clothes are put away and not squashed...

 

I'd prefer to have that special someone, but at the moment I need to heal and the time is right for me to be with me for a bit... so this list is kinda helping to reinforce my decision to be alone...

 

xx

 

Some of you think this thread is about being negative about relationships...it really isn't.

 

It's not about saying one is better than the other, it's about saying that being in a relationship doesn't have to be the ultimate. I'm asking people to focus on good reasons to be single (because that's where I find myself right now).

 

Doesn't mean I think all relationships are bad, but in all relationships you do have to consider someone else all the time, so sometimes being single can be a relief from that.

 

I just want things that are good about being single on this thread please I'm trying to keep it positive about that.

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Tinkyonks Apprentice

Tinkyonks

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Well then. Two thumbs up for you for speaking your mind! I don't like to guess.

 

Too honest would be like... do you like Dinner? .. no its a bit rubbish, can I throw it away Please? Or the classic... does my bum look big in This?... oh my God it's huuuuugee....

 

They are the only times you're not supposed to be too Honest! Lol

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Tinkyonks Apprentice

Tinkyonks

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I like picking up my keys and not having someone ask me "where you going"?

 

I like not having anyone ask me "who's that GUY you were talking to?" (when said guy was my brother, who looks EXACTLY like me).

 

I like being able to make seared ahi tuna steaks for dinner and not having someone look at them like I'm serving raw poodle or something.

 

I like being able to meet lots of people at locations and events and not feel like I'm neglecting someone.

 

I do, however, still keep up with grooming and dressing well. I never know when the firefighters will be doing their grocery shopping (yes I do, Monday afternoons ) or when I'll run into an attractive man at the gas station.

 

Ditto to the grooming, I take care of my self when I'm single too because I can look and Wear whatever I want to without feeling judged. My ex liked long brunette hair so when I wanted to go short and blonde I didn't feel he fancied me... now I'm single I can be whatever colour I want and any style I want without feeling unattractive to someone

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Tinkyonks Apprentice

Tinkyonks

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Men, thankfully, don't moan as much as women do......

 

OMG some Do!

 

 

Anyway, this isnt moaning. It's just reasons being single is good. Like reasons apples are good, doesn't mean we have to be slating bananas if we focused on why apples are good,

 

I like bananas, bananas can be nice but this thread is just about why apples are good.

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Tinkyonks Apprentice

Tinkyonks

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I am not accountable to anyone.

I can stay in my sweats and not comb my hair on Sundays.

I have more time to spend with my friends.

I sleep better without someone snoring and flopping around in my bed.

I don't have to deal with those off days, when the tension is so thick you want to scream and run away.

 

LOL @flopping around in Bed!

 

That's another thing....when your single sleep patterns don't matter..if your an early riser but your partner isn't, you can sit up in bed with a cup of tea and not worry about waking anyone

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notalady Mentor

notalady

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OMG some Do!

 

 

Anyway, this isnt moaning. It's just reasons being single is good. Like reasons apples are good, doesn't mean we have to be slating bananas if we focused on why apples are good,

 

I like bananas, bananas can be nice but this thread is just about why apples are good.

 

I think the confusion arises from the title which states "what's good about not being in a relationship" rather than "what's good about being single". And a lot of these good things listed are essentially "bad things about being in a relationship that I don't have to deal with now".

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notalady Mentor

notalady

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Personally, I enjoyed being single.

 

Lots of time to catch up with friends, not that I don't catch up with friends now but somewhat less.

 

I enjoyed going to meetup groups and socialise with new people.

 

I enjoyed spending time alone, like going to the movies, which I still do occasionally.

 

Losing weight was easier when single, because I'm not always eating out.

 

I maintained my appearance just the same when I was single. It makes me feel good.

 

And of course there are gross things that I mentioned above that I can do if I'm alone rather than with someone lol..

 

Other than that, I really can't think of anything else that's good about being single that I don't have while in current relationship.

 

Now if you ask me "what's good about not being in a relationship with your ex", I can give you a page long list lol..

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Hermes Collaborator

Hermes

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"It's not about saying one is better than the other, it's about saying that being in a relationship doesn't have to be the ultimate. I'm asking people to focus on good reasons to be single (because that's where I find myself right now)."

 

then perhaps, OP, you could have phrased the heading of your thread differently/better. Yes?

 

What's wrong with considering someone else anyhow? And no, it isn't "all the time" unless one is totally enmeshed with the "other".

 

I was single before I married, and that was fine. I never even shared accommodation with anyone in my single days.

That was THAT time in my life, and I lived the single life.

 

I would not miss being "single" because in my mind I am single (me) anyhow.

 

Bottom line: do not marry or enter a LTR if you prefer being single.

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Tinkyonks Apprentice

Tinkyonks

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"It's not about saying one is better than the other, it's about saying that being in a relationship doesn't have to be the ultimate. I'm asking people to focus on good reasons to be single (because that's where I find myself right now)."

 

then perhaps, OP, you could have phrased the heading of your thread differently/better. Yes?

 

What's wrong with considering someone else anyhow? And no, it isn't "all the time" unless one is totally enmeshed with the "other".

 

I was single before I married, and that was fine. I never even shared accommodation with anyone in my single days.

That was THAT time in my life, and I lived the single life.

 

I would not miss being "single" because in my mind I am single (me) anyhow.

 

Bottom line: do not marry or enter a LTR if you prefer being single.

 

and theres another one... not having to listen to someone fault finding, nit picking and being argumentative for the sake of it

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Zaphod Community Regular

Zaphod

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I prefer being single, but I want a "girlfriend" if that makes sense, as opposed to a partner. All the trimmings, loyalty, faithfulness, fun, you know all that, without actually being involved in each other's financial affairs and having to live together and all of that.

 

But at my age, it seems like such a thing doesn't exist, at least not in the minds of the women I meet. So I guess it's the single life for me.

 

I miss the feeling of having a girlfriend when I was 18 or so. Seemed like that was the perfect situation for me. You'd look forward to seeing them on the weekends, and everything seemed kind of special and sparky.

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