My ex girlfriend did something really strange while we were together.

[davidalane]

I was seeing a girl for 6 weeks, and the relationship wasn't the most normal. She did some strange things to me. One thing she did was when we made plans to get together after work one day, she supposedly went home and fell asleep on her couch and never bothered telling me she wasn't coming over. What actually happened was she was still upset about something her ex boyfriend did the day before and that's why she didn't come over. Weird situation.

 

The biggest thing she did was recently I went over to her apartment to take care of her when she was sick. I brought her soup, orange juice and tea to make her feel better. Everything seemed great at first. She felt better, we went to dinner with her friends, went to a concert, then went out for drinks again after the concert.

 

It was getting late and I told her I needed to go to bed because I had to get up for work, which we all had to work the next day. She gave me her keys to her apartment and I went up to her apartment to get some sleep. The bar we were at is right below the apartments.

 

About 30 minutes later she came into the apartment grabbed some stuff then left. It was strange that she did that but I thought she would come back. She text me 2 minuets later saying she locked her self out and she was just gonna stay at her friends apartment, who also lives in the same building. Her friend is a lesbian but I have no problem with that. The only thing that's strange between them is that they cuddle at times. Which is weird to me, but I ignored it, even though most women don't do that.

 

Anyways when she text me that she locked herself out I text her back saying "what do you mean you locked yourself out". She read the text on her iPhone and completely ignored it. I text again saying I was leaving and that I didn't come over to her apartment to sleep alone.

 

I confronted her about the situation the next day and she basically was so upset that a day later she told me she didn't want to talk to me anymore. She told me that I say hurtful things to her and I'm always hurting her feelings, which didn't make sense to me because I've never really been mean to her. I just told her it wasn't right for her to leave me in her apartment and that she's a little to obsessed with her friends and with drinking. I should never have said that...but it was true.

 

She sees her friends 4 to 5 days a week and they're all she ever talks about. She seems to love her friends more than her family. And she drinks everyday. 2 to 3 glasses of wine everyday and at least 3 days a week she drinks much more than that. So what I said was true, but I know I shouldn't have said it. She doesn't like the truth, which most people don't, I understand that completely.

 

She is previously divorced because her ex husband said she drank to much, and he pretty much has full custody of their child. I always thought that was an odd situation as well.

 

She always made me feel bad like the breakup was mostly because I always said hurtful things. I wasn't mean to her in my opinion but I know other people see things differently.

 

My questions are:

1. If this happened to any of you, what would be your first thoughts about being left alone in your lovers apartment?

 

I first thought she did something with her lesbian friend, but also think maybe instead it was with a guy in the same apartment building. She claims she never did anything behind my back though.

 

2. How can someone insult u in such a way and never own up to their mistakes? Psychology question their

[jjkk]

1. I would have left and after only 6 weeks together I doubt I'd ever talk to them again. You could have unlocked the door for her...oh wait, she was lying, she wasn't really locked out.

 

2. Some people never own up to their mistakes. Some people turn things around and try and make others feel bad for their bad behavior. It's immature and selfish and it's best to learn now to trust yourself and not let there ridiculous statements get to you.

 

Bullet dodged!! She's a wreck.

[dave_1966]

Answer to question 1: She's probably an alcoholic, get out of there and block her number. Put it down as being a close call.

 

Answer to question 2: She's probably an alcoholic, get out of there and block her number. Put it down as being a close call.

[Wiseman2]

It's not odd for alcoholics to have their kids taken away. She sounds like a barfly...not sure what the attraction was?

She is previously divorced because her ex husband said she drank to much, and he pretty much has full custody of their child. I always thought that was an odd situation as well.

[Fudgie]

She sounds like an alcoholic and is trying to hide it from you but it doesn't sound like she's that successful in doing so. She got trashed and that's why she passed out and didn't get back to you. She got trashed and stayed with her friend. If she came home, you'd see what an awful wreck she was...heck, maybe she didn't even have a way to get home. Who knows.

[IAmFCA]

I would have said

 

She parties too hard, who knows what she is doing, I can't deal with it.

[Almira23]

1. If this happened to any of you, what would be your first thoughts about being left alone in your lovers apartment?

 

I would collect my things, head home, and delete her number as I am walking out of the door.

 

 

2. How can someone insult u in such a way and never own up to their mistakes?

Because it is much easier to put the blame on you, so that they do not feel responsible for their actions. Her lesbian friend is probably her lover. How the heck does someone lock themselves out when you are in the apartment and more than capable of opening the door for her?

 

Dude, run! She sounds like an emotional wreck. I wouldn't deal with all that baggage if I was you. If she is lying to you and it's only the beginning of the relationship, imagine what she will be like once you two are in a long term relationship.

[Wolfshook]

If a woman doesnt get custody of their kids, I believe there is some red flag to be spotted (in most western countries it's nearly impossible for father to get custody because judges favour mothers). This combined with that you say about her drinking is indication that she might be alcoholic with big issues.

 

You dodged s bullet here.

[MissCanuck]

She's got some serious issues. It sounds like she has an alcohol-abuse problem, and certainly a problem with honesty and transparency.

 

She didn't lock herself out. She came home with the intention of grabbing some things and going to stay with someone else. She could have easily phoned, knocked on the door, texted you to wake up and let her in. She's full of BS. I also don't believe she stayed with a friend. She probably stayed with another guy.

 

You have lost essentially nothing of value here.

[SkellyWoozle]

Sorry to say but I think you need to wake up. She's an alcoholic - the cure to which is only solved by her own actions. And if she no longer has custody of her children because of it and has done nothing in between to fix that tells me that alcohol is her priority right now.... I say that from experience. There is nothing you can do about it. She needs to sort herself out and you need to either stand by her and help her sort herself out, if she wants to get sorted, or you need to get out and find someone who is transparent, kind, caring and not an alcoholic.