GeeCee Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 Hey guys!!! Some of you regulars (Beec, Scout) might just might remember me!! A year ago I was anguishly posting asking HOW OH HOW DO YOU GET YOUR EX TO COME BACK?!?!? And then I started the most glorious love affair with a Frenchman that regularly took me to heaven and completely made me forget about the ex! Things were fabulous but our relationship was complicated by the fact that he lived in Nairobi and I was in England. The expense involved was tremendous, trips out to Nairobi every six weeks and phone bills larger than most mortgages each month. However, he asked me to come and live with him, I had just given up my job, was preparing to move and he dropped the bombshell that it was over. I was in Nairobi at the time, five days into a ten day break. Was terrible. Absolutely awful. I did EVERYTHING wrong. Was hysterical, crying, weeping etc. BUT HE WAS COMPLETELY IMMOVABLE. HAD MADE HIS DECISION. So I came back home. Now if you remember anything about me, it will be that I cannot do nc - used to torture me. But I came home alone. And I did what I have never managed to do before. I did not call him, I did not email him. I did not message him. Nothing. He sent a couple of messages about a week later. But I ignored them. And then on Day 16 of NC, he sent an email marked urgent saying that he needed to talk to me. So I chatted with him on messenger. He was crazy with worry he said. And he was missing me like crazy he said. Of course, I said, is natural. Is early days for us. (I was comforting him). I miss you too, I said. He asked what I was doing, and I told him that I was going to go ahead and make the move abroad. Of course he was somewhat surprised. The next day he sent me an sms, telling me that he missed me dreadfully. I replied saying the same. The next three days he sent sms's to me which I declined to reply. And finally the following day, when I felt ready to chat, I logged onto messenger. There he was - full of apologies - full of love - full of regret - wanted me back! Oh I said. That is surely wonderful, but we must take it slow. So ..... the key to getting your ex back? It has all been said. Get on with your life. Improve yourself. Work hard. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. And when they contact you, do not fall over yourself to let them in. Be cagey. Let them work for it, for YOU! But the bottom line, as we all know is this THEY WILL ONLY COME BACK IF THEY WANT TO!! I am posting this to those of you who need inspiration because I know that there are dark dark times when you feel abandoned. I wish you all love and luck and thank you for your kindness in the past. G xx Link to comment
just jeff Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 Thank you for the update....I couldn't agree with you more; but I have the same problem you had, I have a difficult time doing NC. But I know you're right...along with so many other posters here. Thank you for the encourgement...good luck in your journey.... Link to comment
Tryingtobestrong Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 Hi GeeCee, that sure is a great post. Hope everything goes well for you and that your guy appreciates how lucky he is to have you! Link to comment
shockeddismayed Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 GeeCee, Wow! I remember you back in the day... although by the time I came around, you were already a "put back together" woman, so I didn't see the hard times you'd had before that. It's GREAT to hear that things are looking up for you! I wish you all the best, and it's nice to see the circle continue around here (you helped me early on... and I guess I'm an old fogey around here now). I'm sure people will appreciate your story. So are you going to Nairobi, or is "abroad" elsewhere? Good luck! S&D Link to comment
GeeCee Posted March 14, 2005 Author Share Posted March 14, 2005 shockedanddismayed How lovely to see you again!!! Simply marvellous!! No. I started to make plans to go to Morocco. And guess what? F said, well if you are going to Morocco, I am coming too!! Last time I looked, Morocco IS a French speaking country, and F IS French, so seemed churlish to refuse his gallant offer!!! Hope you are OK S&D. G xx Link to comment
delmar Posted March 14, 2005 Share Posted March 14, 2005 How wonderful for you! I'm a newbie so I'm not familiar with the events that brought you to this point in your life, but I am glad that things have worked out for you and thank you for sharing! Link to comment
shockeddismayed Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 Hey GeeCee, Well that sounds like an exciting adventure! I'm sure things will work out for the best one way or another! Thanks for asking.... things have been working out pretty well for me. After you left, my story (7yr relationship turned upside down) turned into a bit of an epic and I was "oh so close", but after 7 months, lost patience with her. I've had NC since (5 mos ago), but at the time she assured me I'd have the pleasure of hearing from her when she figured herself out, and that even though she was messed up, she'd "always" love me, and regret what happened, blah, blah.... lucky me. Anyway, since then I've been casually dating new people and have got (finally) to the point where I could entertain the idea of new love... haven't found the right person yet, but that's just a sidebar. lol. Thanks for all your help early on, and for coming back with your story! Good luck in Morocco! S&D Link to comment
esboogie143 Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 Hey GeeCee, Thanks for that encouraging post!!! You made me believe that it can REALLY HAPPEN IF I BELIEVE IN MYSELF!!! THANK YOU!!! Good Luck to you! Link to comment
GeeCee Posted March 15, 2005 Author Share Posted March 15, 2005 esboogies I cannot emphasise that enough. My best friend started to look at me with horror. I BELIEVED he was coming back, that he would not let go of me or of our relationship ... I REALLY REALLY BELIEVED. But there were dark dark times, when I was alone, and found it impossible to understand. I am not saying that my belief brought him back ...... after all he is a man. But all the trying to talk him round in the world would have done no good, in fact it would have done more damage. He came back because he wanted to. Did my BELIEF help that situation? No, but it helped ME. And made me realise that if he did not come back, I woudl be ok, because I believed in myself and the value of myself. It is hard, I know, but something you have to do. After all, if you do not believe in yourself, why the hell will anyone else? G xx Link to comment
shockeddismayed Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 I for one believe that we have more subtle and mystic connections with each other than we often give each other credit. Those who cure diseases and find peaceful solutions to war have found a power to influence others that transcends barriers. You can call it belief, you can call if faith, optimism, the force, whatever... but it exists. And what's more, we are drawn to it in others... our leaders, our visionaries, our spiritual guides, our friends, our lovers. We don't always know what good outcomes it will bring us, but the belief in oneself, the peacefulness that it brings, is the most powerful thing we humans can ever possess. Good luck GeeCee.... you've discovered something... and more importantly have at least a temporary harness on something that will lead you to happiness. Many of us already think we know this... it seems so cliche... but the profound and tough part is keeping a grip on this knowledge when our world around us seems to be shaking. Remember it when life throws its next curveball. Link to comment
just jeff Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 I for one believe that we have more subtle and mystic connections with each other than we often give each other credit. Those who cure diseases and find peaceful solutions to war have found a power to influence others that transcends barriers. You can call it belief, you can call if faith, optimism, the force, whatever... but it exists. And what's more, we are drawn to it in others... our leaders, our visionaries, our spiritual guides, our friends, our lovers. We don't always know what good outcomes it will bring us, but the belief in oneself, the peacefulness that it brings, is the most powerful thing we humans can ever possess. shocked&dismayed, Well said...you have exceptional insight....I could agree wih you more. Good luck in your journies... Link to comment
freeindeed Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 Thank you GeeCee for your post...it's definitely very encouraging. I myself did NC for 12 days (the longest I've ever gone with this particular ex was 6 days) and he called last night. I made the stupid mistake of picking up the call...i should have let him wait longer. And in the end we just ended up fighting. So it was pointless...however, during those 12 days, I did come to a realization that I had peace and was stress-free since he was not around, and so that conversation with him last night just further confirmed that my life would be better off without him. I will not be contacting him at all The secret truly is "getting on with your life", because whether he comes back or not, if you focus on yourself, you'll really understand what YOU want for your life and your future. Link to comment
shockeddismayed Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 [ Well said...you have exceptional insight....I could agree wih you more. Good luck in your journies... Thanks Jeff! I'm enjoying the support you are giving other posters. Keep on keepin' on! Link to comment
GeeCee Posted March 17, 2005 Author Share Posted March 17, 2005 Oh my oh my oh my shocked&dismayed!!! This is good .... this is very good indeed. Everyone on here should print this out, learn it off by heart and then live and breath it. This is exactly what I did. Exactly. Was not always easy. Even a couple of days before he really came back to me, I was faltering. But self belief is imperative. Good luck TO ALL OF YOU!! G xx Link to comment
spatzcolumbo Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 Well well, look who's back...it's GEECEE. Remember me? Link to comment
majord23 Posted March 20, 2005 Share Posted March 20, 2005 Well well, look who's back...it's GEECEE. Remember me? ....and me? 8) Link to comment
shockeddismayed Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Well well, look who's back...it's GEECEE. Remember me? ....and me? 8) I do guys... Hope you are both doing well! Link to comment
spatzcolumbo Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Hahaha, so weird seeing all these old names again!! It's been nearly a year since i was posting with you guys regularly!! Hope you're all doing well, and thanks so much for all your help last year - it helped me out a lot!! Link to comment
cassiana Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 First of all, congratulations on your success. May I ask do you have any idea why he broke up with you when you had given up so much to be with him? May I ask what explanation he gave for that and what explanation did he give for his change of heart? Link to comment
GeeCee Posted April 8, 2005 Author Share Posted April 8, 2005 Looky looky looky looky ...... it's Majord and Spatzcolumbo!!! Hello boys!!! You pleased to see me!?!??!?! Well, in answer to your question - he says that he told me that it was over because he got scared. Scared that it would not work out. Scared of the intensity of the feeligs. Scared. Scared. Scared. And why did he come back? He says that although we have a long distance relationship, he always felt that I was with him, and for the first time in our relationship he felt alone. And he did not like it. He said that he never doubted that he loved me, but that he had overcome his fears of being hurt. And so, last month I went to Senegal, where the love of my life is now working. My son and I spent two weeks with him - sun, sand, sea all the usual and it was magnificent. Is not going to be easy though. He is still a little skittish. But the good thing is is that he says he does not want to f&*& up again. He wants to invest in the relationship and he wants to commit. So, we shall see. But there is much talk of me either moving to Senegal with him, or us both moving to Morocco. We shall see ... we shall see ... Good luck in your quest all. G xx Link to comment
NewsGirl23 Posted April 9, 2005 Share Posted April 9, 2005 THANKYOU FOR THE INSPIRATION!! all that you said fits perfectly into what I am trying to do right now! thankyou! Link to comment
fantasia2004 Posted April 10, 2005 Share Posted April 10, 2005 and if they your exes do not come back? god bless them the headache is over! I rather cry over the pope than him my ex .... God Bless Pope John Paul II Link to comment
Mun Posted April 10, 2005 Share Posted April 10, 2005 Good luck with your relationship GeeCee and thanks for posting your very inspiring update. You did good... Link to comment
fantasia2004 Posted April 11, 2005 Share Posted April 11, 2005 if you moved to morocco, ceecee, drop us a line and pics Link to comment
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