Lotusavx Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 i met this guy and we went on a handful of dates over the past couple weeks. the first date was amazing, it was the best date i've ever been on, not to mention the chemistry and attraction we had. i really liked him and i could tell he was genuine about liking me. we hung out a handful of times, but then he started to become distant and flake out on our plants. he later texted me telling me that he was going to military training in about a month and won't be around at all, and he felt like if we kept seeing each other things would of gotten more serious and we would have grown closer and he didn't want to hurt either one of us. at first thought, i really really appreciated his honesty. also, this didn't happen right after sex, a couple dates after, so i know he didn't do this just because he got what he wanted. i remember him telling me briefly when we were texting about him going to military training but didn't think much of it, as i didn't expect to like him much at that point. i was honestly kind of hurt even though he was honest. after he told me we weren't going to see each other anymore, i started to wonder if he maybe just lost interest and that him going away was just a perfect excuse for ending it. we met up for a drink the other night as i needed to get something i forgot in his car. i could tell he really liked me still and felt awful about ending it. i guess i am just having a hard time getting over "What could of been" since it seemed like we could of very well had a relationship. he even told me he would want to be with me if he wasn't going away. i know it's probably a good idea to just leave it at that, but i keep suggesting to him we hang out again before he goes. i know it's a bad idea because i know i shouldn't get any closer to him with him having to leave in a few weeks. i've tried texting him and he's not responding to me so i think he really doesn't want to see me again. i feel like i just got had such a promising idea of a relationship because of the chemistry we had. i know it wasn't meant to be, but i am having trouble getting over this disappointment. i've asked him to hang out again because i really enjoy his company, but i feel like he's only been agreeing because he feels sorry Link to comment
boltnrun Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 You didn't, by any chance, tell him about the threesome you had a few days ago with your friend and her boyfriend...did you? And is this the same guy who you've been hanging out with him and his friends, or the guy who texted a lot...or a different guy? Link to comment
shellyf62 Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 Had a good reply but I just read Bolt's one. Sorry, I've got nothing !! Link to comment
1a1a Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 Ohh that is the disappoint. I have seen it said around the place that the right person, and the wrong time, is still the wrong person. If I'd been in his shoes, I might have preferred to make the absolute most of my time with you, knowing it was going to end. He hasn't chosen that though, I think, do your last hang out, make the most of it. And let him gooooo. If he gets back in touch before he leaves and wants to hang out some more, and you're feeling that too, then go ahead and indulge but as always, look for reciprocity. (My most favourite relationship was with a traveler, it always had a time limit on it but I still enjoyed it). Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 I think you'd have much better outcomes if you presented yourself as dating material, rather than an easy roll in the sack...sorry, but you need to hear this. Keep in mind that we set the standards for how others treat us. It's a simple formula, called "Respect yourself." Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 You didn't, by any chance, tell him about the threesome you had a few days ago with your friend and her boyfriend...did you? And is this the same guy who you've been hanging out with him and his friends, or the guy who texted a lot...or a different guy? Oh. Good points. Link to comment
Lotusavx Posted August 8, 2016 Author Share Posted August 8, 2016 Well first of all I didn't tell him about the threesome but it's not like we were official or any thing or else I wouldn't have done it. We also weren't having sex at this point I didn't present myself as just an easy lay, we actually hungout quite a few times and did things and had great conversations before we actually did anything. Link to comment
Lotusavx Posted August 8, 2016 Author Share Posted August 8, 2016 this is the guy I've been hanging out with him and his friends. Also, if me and this guy weren't official, why would it matter if I had a threesome. Would have never even considered it for a minute if me and this guy were together. Link to comment
1a1a Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 I think you'd have much better outcomes if you presented yourself as dating material, rather than an easy roll in the sack...sorry, but you need to hear this. Keep in mind that we set the standards for how others treat us. It's a simple formula, called "Respect yourself." All of my long term relationships have begun with an easy lay. If the interest is there it will happen. (Having said that if op is looking to not be used and left then they may need to get more choosy purely from the point of view of needing to be more protective of their emotions, and there's a decent chunk of the population that shares your view that easy women deserve no respect. Personally, I say I would not want to date a guy that thought that anyway so good litmus test). Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 It sounds like he likes you but was honest about going away and not wanting anything serious.handful of dates over the past couple weeks. he later texted me telling me that he was going to military training in about a month and won't be around at all, and he felt like if we kept seeing each other things would of gotten more serious and we would have grown closer and he didn't want to hurt either one of us. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 Agree with Wiseman. He said it wasn't going to be serious. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 All of my long term relationships have begun with an easy lay. If the interest is there it will happen. (Having said that if op is looking to not be used and left then they may need to get more choosy purely from the point of view of needing to be more protective of their emotions, and there's a decent chunk of the population that shares your view that easy women deserve no respect. Personally, I say I would not want to date a guy that thought that anyway so good litmus test). Brilliant, now why didn't I think of that? Link to comment
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