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How can some people give up on relationships so easily?

Yaelic625

By Yaelic625
in Getting Back Together

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Shane Falco Rookie

Shane Falco

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Seeing her Twitter really made me see a side of her that I didn't know she had. I mean, it doesn't seem as though she's missed me even a small fraction as much as I've missed her even back when we split. It seems as though she been perfectly content with me not in her life and I'm miserable not having her in mine and it's just not fair. She's the one that decided to give up on us, she's left me high and try, she's refuses to even entertain the idea of letting me redeem myself, and yet I'm that's suffering?! It's complete bull****. I've been hoping and praying for her to come back to me going on 10 months now and she's galloping away all content with some guy (or maybe guys, who knows at this point) and displaying online to rub my face in it but for some reason I have to suffer. I didn't do anything to deserve this

 

She's not rubbing it in your face dude. She blocked you on Twitter so you wouldn't see that -- you just decided to get sneaky and you got burned. She was done 10 months ago and has been consistent in being done. That doesn't make her a bad person and she's not throwing it in your face. You went out of your way to check up on her and you saw stuff you weren't supposed to see. That's not her fault -- it's yours for putting your hand over the fire. Your current suffering is completely your fault because you couldn't leave well enough alone.

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Wiseman2 Grand Master

Wiseman2

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It would be best not to creep her social media, it will only prevent moving on. 10 mos is way to long for you to still worry about this when you could have a new gf already.

Seeing her Twitter and displaying online to rub my face in it but for some reason I have to suffer. I didn't do anything to deserve this. I've been hoping and praying for her to come back to me going on 10 months now
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Yaelic625 Newbie

Yaelic625

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I'm 22, about to turn 23 at the end of August and I know I don't own her but she broke my heart with no repercussions whatsoever and some of you are making me feel as though I'm the bad one; I'm sure that was no one's intention but that's how it feels.

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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I'm 22, about to turn 23 at the end of August and I know I don't own her but she broke my heart with no repercussions whatsoever and some of you are making me feel as though I'm the bad one; I'm sure that was no one's intention but that's how it feels.

 

There doesn't need to be repercussions. It is just over .

 

You are not a bad person you just don't realize that being obscessed is not a good thing.

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lostlove76 Proficient

lostlove76

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I'm 22, about to turn 23 at the end of August and I know I don't own her but she broke my heart with no repercussions whatsoever and some of you are making me feel as though I'm the bad one; I'm sure that was no one's intention but that's how it feels.

 

That's why I was taking up for you, because I felt bad for you. But I'm kind of seeing now what the others were seeing before. It's okay to be hurt and pissed and feel betrayed, and to vent it out here (not to her). But as much as it may suck, you have to accept that she does have a right to not want to be with you anymore. You can even think she's a crappy person for it. But you just have to accept that crappy or not, she gets to make her own decisions. Venting is fine, but just make sure you don't act on any of these feelings. There's really nothing at all you can do about it at this point.

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Yaelic625 Newbie

Yaelic625

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There's really nothing at all you can do about it at this point.

 

That's the thing I've been pondering about since I started this thread. I really do believe that I could convince her to get back together. Not all at once, but slowly work our way back together. I'm pretty sure that's why she completely blocked me because she didn't want to be convinced (she even used to say I could be very convincing about things I'm passionate about) and she did it to safeguard the end of the relationship. I know she's coming back here in a couple of weeks (she went home for the summer) and I plan on speaking to her when she gets here.

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Yaelic625 Newbie

Yaelic625

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I do think it's your age and maturity level, and that's not something that can be changed quickly and in the moment. I'm sure it's been mentioned already, but have you considered counseling?

 

I did go back in December when my depression wasn't going away but I stopped last month. It wasn't helping at all.

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journeynow Grand Master

journeynow

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Seeing her Twitter really made me see a side of her that I didn't know she had. I mean, it doesn't seem as though she's missed me even a small fraction as much as I've missed her even back when we split. It seems as though she been perfectly content with me not in her life and I'm miserable not having her in mine and it's just not fair. She's the one that decided to give up on us, she's left me high and try, she's refuses to even entertain the idea of letting me redeem myself, and yet I'm that's suffering?! It's complete bull****. I've been hoping and praying for her to come back to me going on 10 months now and she's galloping away all content with some guy (or maybe guys, who knows at this point) and displaying online to rub my face in it but for some reason I have to suffer. I didn't do anything to deserve this

 

You said you can't take her seriously on any level. WHY would you want to be with her then, why would you miss her, and why in the world would she want to be with you? You two are not compatible, clearly.

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lostlove76 Proficient

lostlove76

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That's the thing I've been pondering about since I started this thread. I really do believe that I could convince her to get back together. Not all at once, but slowly work our way back together. I'm pretty sure that's why she completely blocked me because she didn't want to be convinced (she even used to say I could be very convincing about things I'm passionate about) and she did it to safeguard the end of the relationship. I know she's coming back here in a couple of weeks (she went home for the summer) and I plan on speaking to her when she gets here.

 

I really wouldn't suggest that. I know you want to be with her. But you really can't convince her, and she doesn't want to be convinced. And honestly, do you even want to have to convince someone to be with you? I think it's best to quit while you're ahead here. You've only reached out like once or twice since Nov or Dec, if I'm remembering correctly, and that's a good place to leave it. If you try to talk to her and it doesn't go as you wanted it to, it's just going to push her further away, and you're going to feel even worse. Gain strength through complete no contact, knowing that you're strong enough to resist your urges, even if it hurts.

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lostlove76 Proficient

lostlove76

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Also, just to add one more thing...

You would have a much better chance at being with someone (her or anyone else) if you're not coming from a place of obsession and desperation. Right now you're so full of emotion and upset that you can't possibly be laid-back and cool to hang out with or whatever. Being together wouldn't be enjoyable for you or for her, and if it's not enjoyable, then she's not going to want it. So it's really crucial that you work through all these feelings and get to a place of better emotional stability before even thinking about trying to talk to her. And that could take a long time to get to that place, so it's best to let this go for now. I know that's not what you want to hear.

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Yaelic625 Newbie

Yaelic625

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You said you can't take her seriously on any level. WHY would you want to be with her then, why would you miss her, and why in the world would she want to be with you? You two are not compatible, clearly.

 

Because like myself she could be immature at times and I feel as though this is how her immaturity manifested itself; getting mad at the stupidest of things. I know this is something she will grow out of.

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CSNY Rookie

CSNY

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You could stay alone forever. lol,

 

I know, not the best advice, but really being single isn't the fear some people think. I'm at that point. If it isn't him, it isn't anybody. However long it takes you to heal... I mean, and you might never.

 

Unfortunately, I honestly think this works better for girls. Nobody likes seeing a girl show up alone, but men... it's a double standard, but it can work. Although, because you are a guy, you'll probably bounce back faster than I will.

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CSNY Rookie

CSNY

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That being said,

 

 

I have sort of found a new guy....

 

 

but, I can't let go. And new guy probably knows that. So.....

 

 

If I ever take the huge plunge. We'll see. Nobody knows what the future holds. Point is, I don't want to let go, and I don't think he does either. But, he's still kind of aloof....

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CSNY Rookie

CSNY

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Yeah, I know. lol

 

 

It's been 9 years for me, and I'm still insanely in love with the same guy. We've never been together, and I'm still holding out hope. I've had a lil bit more contact with him, recently, but he's (as well as I) have had our own other interests along the way.

 

 

If he would have asked me out from day one, I never would have. I had no choice. lol

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