Total stud, but nose hairs and bad teeth! What to do?

[abitabove]

So...I go on a first date today with an online date and he is gorgeous. Intelligent, attractive, great conversationalist, good build, but he has nose hairs and bad teeth? Am I being overly critical???

[Matti Jr]

Well, if it bothers you that much, you probably won't be able to get past it. Everyone has some kind of flaws.

[Zaphod]

When you say "Bad teeth", can you elaborate on that?

 

Why anyone would turn up for a date with unkempt nose hairs confuses me slightly. We do live in the age of trimmers, and before that, there was always scissors.

[cristal]

I also encountered the very bad teeth, but still liked him for who he was...or so I thought. Would you believe he had the audacity to ghost me, lol? So if you like other aspects of his personality maybe his faults would not become such a deal breaker.

[Zaphod]

ghost me

 

What does that mean?

[BlarneyStone]

^He sent her to another dimension

[cristal]

What does that mean?

 

He disappeared on me within a week after our first meet.

[happpybear]

Yeah. I enjoy a hairy fella, very much appreciate some healthy facial hair growth--but visible nose hair crosses the line. Not cool for a first date.

 

The tooth thing...I might overlook that if everything else was excellent. Not everyone is naturally blessed with good teeth, and braces and dental surgery is really expensive and often families can't afford that for their kids. Now if his teeth are bad in that he just doesn't appear to brush them etc, then I would pass, but if he's got crowded teeth or snaggle tooth in an otherwise clean and fresh smelling mouth then I would be more likely to accept that

[browneyedgirl36]

By "bad teeth" do you mean crooked teeth, or rotten teeth? A bit of crookedness doesn't bother me -- I have crowded teeth on the bottom of my mouth, right in the front, the result of not getting braces when I was a kid (and I probably should have), but no one really notices them -- I don't even notice. If his teeth were really yellow, or some were rotten, or he was missing a bunch of teeth, that would give me pause.

 

The nose hair thing, well -- yes, he should probably be taking care of that, but honestly, sometimes it's difficult to see stray hairs (depending on the light in your house and how close you get to a mirror), and he may not have noticed them.

 

Bottom line, if it bothers you, you're probably not a good match.

[Ms Darcy]

Bad teeth can be a dealbreaker. Are they basically an indication of poor hygiene (e.g. Yellow or rotting)?

[BlarneyStone]

Bad teeth can be a dealbreaker. Are they basically an indication of poor hygiene (e.g. Yellow or rotting)?

 

Yellow doesn't automatically indicate bad hygiene. Some people have naturally yellow looking teeth.

[happpybear]

Also, some medications can darken your teeth, making them look unhealthy...and veneers are crazy expensive!

[Zaphod]

My teeth are a touch yellow - However, they are very good teeth, and my gums are good too. My teeth aren't "rotten". I don't eat sugar, apart from I may be starting to eat more cake, but that's a different story (on a different thread).

 

Trouble is - I have really sensitive teeth and the dentist advised against whitening for this reason, which kind of leaves me a bit stuck. Maybe your fellow has the same dilemma?

 

Yellowness and sensitivity are a sign of thin enamel, which is hereditary, I believe. The enamel is white and the dentyne underneath is yellow, hence, if you have thin enamel, not only are your teeth yellow (seeing the dentyne through the enamel) but they are also prone to sensitivity as well. A bit of a conundrum.

 

Personally I find the nasal hair thing a bit more worrying. It doesn't cost anything to sort them nasal hairs out. I don't think it sounds like he really understands about grooming.

 

It's a difficult one - he can always sort the teeth and nasal hair out, could be a lot worse, like something that it's impossible for him to address.

 

However, if it's a real turn-off then he needs to address them rather quickly.

[Zaphod]

This perfect teeth look is a con. The dentists have encouraged whitening, and suddenly the bar's been raised and everyone else feels inferior. It's a marketing thing.

 

Reminds me a bit of fake breasts - it gives an unrealistic standard for everyone else to live up to.

[Gloworm]

You could recommend him a nose hair trimmer.. If he liked you he might invest in one.

[itsallgrand]

I don't know. Does it get in the way of you feeling attraction? Maybe the chemistry isn't there even though he is a catch?

 

Nose hairs, meh, I don't care. Bad teeth, it sucks, it's not always something a person is doing or not doing, and I get how it can be a turn off even when you wish it wasn't. For me, it'd have to be obvious it's a hygiene issue or so bad that I can't imagine kissing them because of it to dismiss them based on teeth. You might be different.

 

In general, I really tried to not focus on negative physical characteristics of people ( whether it's just not my taste or a real unattractive quality).

 

Imagine some guy dated you once, then spoke of your moustache hair (as example) that you just missed in waxing. Or anything really... She's pretty, but little squinty eyes.

It sets this negative energy that you can totally avoid by just focusing on if you want to see the person again or not. Just my opinion

[Zaphod]

As has been mentioned before, just to reinforce it, yellow teeth are not an indicator of hygeine.

 

If it makes you feel better about this, some people with perfectly white teeth just chuck bleach on them all the time but don't floss, don't brush properly, breath smells etc. whereas some people with slightly yellow teeth (like me) use bottle brushes, electric toothbrush, mouthwash, understand about brushing next to the gum line, and have very good breath

 

Think of a new car with perfect bodywork, but rarely washed vs an old car that is perfectly clean but slightly faded due to sunlight.

[missmarple]

Teeth and nose hairs are things that can be fixed. If the guy is attractive and you find out you get along well, give him a chance.

[superfan]

I have a thing about teeth. I can't stand bad teeth - they gross me out. It would be a deal breaker for me.

[Zaphod]

Can we just establish what people mean by "Bad teeth" here? Someone asked that before.

 

Are they perfect but yellow? Or are half of them missing, or they're deperstely wonky and crooked, or just full of food?

 

Or have they been carefully sharpened like a Vampire like what some of those body mod guys do?

[Jibralta]

So...I go on a first date today with an online date and he is gorgeous. Intelligent, attractive, great conversationalist, good build, but he has nose hairs and bad teeth? Am I being overly critical???

 

I don't know what you mean by bad teeth. But nose hairs can be trimmed. I don't understand people that don't trim their nose hairs. There's a guy at work like that. How does he not see that there is a hedge growing out of his nose?

[Wiseman2]

How bad was it?

 

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[Itchy]

It's very easy to criticise someone of their physical imperfections, I can imagine you would be most upset should a man pass unflattering comments about your physical imperfection. I suspect if that happened you'd be logging here and posting about how rude and disrespectful the man is.

[TMifune]

I like to bring workout notes, medical and dental records and a pay stub or my last year's tax return on first dates. It makes it easier for the shallow women to get their thrill by judging me and then get the hell out of my life.

[Jibralta]

How bad was it?

 

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Not quite there yet.