Uuuggghhh Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 I like pda and/or some kind of connection. Nothing sexual, no making out. Just hand holding and little pecks here and there (don’t even have to be on my lips, but something). But he doesn’t like any of that. He only does it in privacy or if people aren’t around. What should I do? Can I compromise? I don’t think I should have to but I don’t know. Link to comment
Itchy Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 I hate PDA, I think it's unnecessary and I'd like to laws brought in to make an illegal activity punished by one the spot fines. Holding hands is lame, pecks on the cheeks are lame and yeah I am against PDA. If your guy is against it then there's not a lot you can do about it but respect his decision. Some men just don't like it and they shouldn't be made to do something that is against their nature. Link to comment
thejigsup Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 I'm a female and I'm not very big on PDA. Yuck! It's like shouting to the world, "Look at me, someone loves me." Pathetic. I love to get physical, don't get me wrong, but it's more special if any and all touching is left private. Link to comment
Wolfshook Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 Holding hands is cool. Crawling all over each other in ther park at the noon ,not so much. Making out in the back of a cinema,or in that invisible corner at the bar can be fun though. Oh and little cheek kisses here and there are great (somehow makes me happy even when I see other couples doing that). What you could both do is adapt to each other. It's not that big of a issue. Link to comment
SherrySher Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 What it comes down to is if you're compatible in this way or not. And if you're not, it can't be forced on either side. You have to respect one another's wants and realize that they might not work with each other. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 Not everyone is into PDA. I am not. I like hand holding on occasion but that's about it. It's a personal taste and not indicative of someone's feelings about you. I would respect his wishes. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 My husband was like that when younger because his parents were like that. In the 27 years I have known them I have never seen them hug or give a peck on the cheek even. Not even in the house. Now he is totally fine with PDA. Link to comment
notalady Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 I'm all for showing affection in public, not making out and such, just hand holding, hugs and a peck here and there maybe. I don't think it's inappropriate, I'm not putting on a show, that's how I behave in private with my partner so I don't see why it should be different in public (provided it is not inappropriate behaviour). People can look or not look, I don't care. Anyway in your case, what we think or do is irrelevant, your boyfriend doesn't like PDA and you do. Is he willing to compromising on one or two things like hand holding for example? Link to comment
catfeeder Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 What should I do? Can I compromise? I don’t think I should have to but I don’t know. You don't have to compromise on anything that's important to you, you'll just need to find a guy who wants the same. Or, you can learn whether this guy is open to negotiation, where you trade him something of value to him in order to get what's valuable to you. It all depends on how important the guy is to you. How long have you dated him, and how serious is your relationship? Link to comment
Uuuggghhh Posted June 4, 2016 Author Share Posted June 4, 2016 You don't have to compromise on anything that's important to you, you'll just need to find a guy who wants the same. Or, you can learn whether this guy is open to negotiation, where you trade him something of value to him in order to get what's valuable to you. It all depends on how important the guy is to you. How long have you dated him, and how serious is your relationship? We've actually been together for 4 years, he didn't mind it before but recently this year he just kind of stopped. Link to comment
Clinton Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 Talk to him about it instead of guessing. It takes the mystery out if things. A bunch of strangers can't guess at his motives Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 It takes two so get your affection in private.Can I compromise? Link to comment
Iggy5129 Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 We've actually been together for 4 years, he didn't mind it before but recently this year he just kind of stopped. So he did PDA with you and now he doesn't? That's kinda weird. I would definitely ask him why the change. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 We've actually been together for 4 years, he didn't mind it before but recently this year he just kind of stopped. There's always a reason for a sudden change. When is the last time you can remember that he was affectionate? What else changed in your relationship, or outside of it, since right before that time? Link to comment
Uuuggghhh Posted June 4, 2016 Author Share Posted June 4, 2016 What else changed in your relationship, or outside of it, since right before that time? We used to spend almost everyday together, but we both just started doing our own things separately and we wouldn't see each much, and that's when he slowly started being less affectionate in public and I confronted him about it a few times but it didn't change things much. Now that summer is back, we've been seeing each other a lot more often and I guess the no pda is getting to me. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 Is he affectionate/attentive in private? You know the can't keep your paws off each other phase does settle down and that is just mellowing and getting more secure/comfortable. we've been seeing each other a lot more often and I guess the no pda is getting to me. Link to comment
Uuuggghhh Posted June 4, 2016 Author Share Posted June 4, 2016 And he thinks I'm asking for crazy things. I just say "I just want you to hold my hand or give me a hug every now and then" and he'll say "I hate it when other people make out in front of everyone. I'm not gonna grope you or make out with you. That's not me." And it drives me crazy because I literally say "hold my hand" "hug" right before and after he says that statement. Link to comment
Uuuggghhh Posted June 4, 2016 Author Share Posted June 4, 2016 Is he affectionate/attentive in private? You know the can't keep your paws off each other phase does settle down and that is just mellowing and getting more secure/comfortable. He is affectionate 50/50 of the time when we're in private. I guess I still am in that phase. I think I just really enjoy giving and receiving affection. And he knows that too. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 Well there you have it, so have more private displays of affection. This is as big a deal as you want to make it, is it worth ending it over not holding hand or hugs on the street? "I hate it when other people make out in front of everyone. I'm not gonna grope you or make out with you. That's not me." Link to comment
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