I don't know what to do

[Sami33]

I'm 19 and I have been in a relationship for about 4 months now. We live far away from each other but we see each other often. When I go round to his house he always ditches and leaves me at his house to go out with his friends and he doesn't come back when he says he will, I don't know what to do. Do I be angry with him or do I just go with the flow?

[Clinton]

Neither. You dump him and find someone who will treat you much better.

[Hermes]

Sami.

 

Could I urge you to read this entire thread from today.

 

 

 

Standards....

[Wiseman2]

Why do you hang out at his place when he isn't there? Pack up and leave when he does this or... he should be visiting you.

I go round to his house he always ditches and leaves me at his house to go out with his friends

[j.man]

A lot depends on the context for me. How often is "often?" Are you staying at his place for multiple days at a time? I've dated women who have stayed over for a couple nights out of the week and I'll have something of a guy's night going on and have no problem if she wants to hang around the house while I'm gone. She doesn't have to if she doesn't want to. If he's got something going on that night, just stay home. For me, four months is way too soon to be starting the whole "call me if you're staying out late" routine.

[reinventmyself]

I'm 19 and I have been in a relationship for about 4 months now. We live far away from each other but we see each other often. When I go round to his house he always ditches and leaves me at his house to go out with his friends and he doesn't come back when he says he will, I don't know what to do. Do I be angry with him or do I just go with the flow?

 

When you make the effort to see someone who doesn't live close by, he leaves and doesn't return? I am not sure what's going on but, yah. . don't go there anymore.

Find someone who lives closer and wants to spend time with you. This one clearly doesn't.

[Sami33]

We see each other twice a week I would just want him to say to me that he has made plans I wouldn't mind at all before I travel and spend money to get to his

[j.man]

We see each other twice a week I would just want him to say to me that he has made plans I wouldn't mind at all before I travel and spend money to get to his

So why do you keep doing it? Do you ask him if he's got anything going on before coming over? How long are your stays when you do go see him?

[reinventmyself]

We see each other twice a week I would just want him to say to me that he has made plans I wouldn't mind at all before I travel and spend money to get to his

 

If he cared he would. This one you shouldn't have to explain to anyone. It called being minimally decent.

Watch his actions. That will give you your answer.

[tina-rocks]

This sounds like a one way relationship and that's his way. He isn't considering that you are travelling over to see him, so you can be together. If he was being unselfish, he would let you know dates he is going out, or change a planned date for you coming over, for when he isn't going out with the guys.

 

You could try talking to him about it and then see what he says. If he doesn't want to change this, then your only option will be to finish it, if it makes you this unhappy.

 

Christina

[j.man]

Before I call the guy selfish for not being the one to travel and stay with you, is there a reason you do all the traveling? Do you live at home still?

[Heather Dawn]

Is this really a question? You should know that you deserve better.

[tina-rocks]

Before I call the guy selfish for not being the one to travel and stay with you, is there a reason you do all the traveling? Do you live at home still?

 

I used the word unselfish, because he goes out when she has travelled over to see him j.man and he could easily cancel her travelling over, for another day when he isn't planning anything else.

[catfeeder]

Do I be angry with him or do I just go with the flow?

 

My 'flow' would take me far away from this guy, so I'd go with that.