Deftonesmad Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 Hi All, This is a bit more complicated than it sounds so i shall try my best to paint the picture for you all as I'm sure theres been people that have experienced this. After years and years of failed relationships, heartbreak, chasing the wrong girls (lol) my mother brings up an old childhood friend randomly in conversation. It was one of those "do you remember ____ ? " when i heard my mother speak her name it was like a fire alarm going off in my head as i was always fascinated with her and this conversation had come up years ago as well when i was 13, her name was always sort of lingering in our family because my father was very close with her father but heres where it gets tricky.. they don't speak anymore. So would it be really weird if i somehow got close with her again and our fathers are slightly awkward with each other? idk. We were never super close and the times we were together in the same room we were really young (around 5-7) so i doubt she would even remember me but i have pictures of us together which I'm sure her mother has as well. ANYWAY, so fast forward a decade and a half (Im 20 and she is 21) my mother brings her up in conversation and she shows me her facebook page and all the memories come rushing back and i had these incredible feelings just seeing her picture because even at that every young age i always liked her (sounds stupid i know). So now i start stalking her fb page and we have TONS in common, music,poetry,literature,politics i am 100% sure if we met at school i would be proposing to her now and I'm fully convinced she might be the dreaded "one" i was so caught up with all my other relationships but she had always been in the back of my mind subconsciously or not (as i said this convo with my mother came up years ago and i had the same feelings) So my question is .. how do i approach her without coming off like a total creep who foraged the internet for hours? things to be noted : i live in the Uk but my family emigrated here so in our culture arranged marriage is huge and i think its pretty cool.. my family go to your house see if our children get along with each other and if they don't we move on. The point is all my previous relationships were with people outside my culture and race and in my mind i always knew id want to get with someone inside my culture (language barriers with my family n stuff) my mother had always joked about "im gonna get you a *insert race* girl" THANKS Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 Send a friend request then message her.."hey, it's been a long time! how have you been?" without alluding to anything on her page or interests etc. so it doesn't come off creepy like you've been lurking all this time. Are you headed for an arranged marriage? Is this what your mother is suggesting? i start stalking her fb page Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 Just send her a friend request on fb, keep it casual. She may be nothing like you remember, so keep that in mind. You've really got her built up in your head... Link to comment
Gloworm Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 Just be yourself. If she accepts your request, if you like her or have something to say say it! Most girls love compliments or if you have input on mutual interests chime in! Link to comment
Deftonesmad Posted May 24, 2016 Author Share Posted May 24, 2016 Send a friend request then message her.."hey, it's been a long time! how have you been?" without alluding to anything on her page or interests etc. so it doesn't come off creepy like you've been lurking all this time. Are you headed for an arranged marriage? Is this what your mother is suggesting? Not anytime soon because I'm only 20 haha, its just the thought of maybe connection with someone and building a solid relationship that interest me. It's just so much more alluring thinking about how this old childhood friend could've been "the one" this whole time... again, sounds stupid, i know lol Link to comment
Deftonesmad Posted May 24, 2016 Author Share Posted May 24, 2016 That's a great point, she's basically like a stranger to me at this point. I see you've chosen to identify yourself as a female.. How would you feel if an old childhood male friend connected with you through facebook? .. would it creep you out at all? Link to comment
Deftonesmad Posted May 24, 2016 Author Share Posted May 24, 2016 Do you think it would be weird at all for me to just message her out of the blue/ .. you as a female, would you feel uncomfortable? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 I would probably ignore a message from a childhood male friend at this point in my life. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 You may have more courage to just shoot out a quick "hey long time..how have you been?" message if you did not lace your thoughts with magical or romanticized thinking. As you know a lot of people use fb to catch up with classmates and plan reunions,etc. so that message would not be odd. It's just so much more alluring thinking about how this old childhood friend could've been "the one" Link to comment
tina-rocks Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 Hi, It's .......... Not sure you remember me from when we were young, but came across your name on fb and thought I would say hi. How are you? Link to comment
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