Can't Cancel Gift to Ex's Mom, don't know what to do!!

[Sarah Whittle]

Hi all,

 

Back in November at a tiny, unofficial flea market, I pre-ordered a nice scarf from a local merchant for my (then) boyfriend's mom for Mother's day (I saw it and thought of her, it was cheap, and she lives many hours away, so this was an easy way to remember the holiday). The girl selling them made the arrangement with me to do the card (Happy Mother's Day from A&A (our initials)) then and there and she would mail the scarf and card out for me this week. I have friends who had done this with the merchant before, so I think she is reliable, so the chance of his mom not getting it is kinda small.

 

The problem? I totally forgot about it!! My Ex and I broke up at the start of this year and this gift completely left my mind until yesterday. I can't find the merchant's information anywhere! None of my friends remember her number either (she worked out of her car/home, no physical store, no website, super old school everything) so I can't cancel or redirect the order.

 

What should I do? Just forget about it? Contact her and explain what happened? Only say something if she contacts me?

 

The Ex and I haven't spoken in over a month, and I refuse to contact him. I am still on friendly terms with his mom (I think, she wished my happy Bday on FB a few days ago).

 

Gah! I don't want the Ex thinking this is some ploy to get him back. Or for her to think I am delusional. lol I have no interest in getting back together with him.

 

Help!!! Lol, this is such a bizarre situation.

[Wiseman2]

The panic is not worth it, it's a gift for her not him. Just let it play out...it doesn't look a like a ploy to reunite.

I am still on friendly terms with his mom

[annie24]

Does she have an account on Etsy? Did you google something like, 'custom scarf + your city'? I'd try that.

[Robin2904]

It might be a little uncomfortable but don't think its worth stressing over. If she reaches out after getting it explain the situation, other wise let it be.

[j.man]

I actually vote for a simple facebook message letting her know. There's no way anyone would guess that this is some delayed action from last year. Not that it matters a whole lot given that he's out of your life and eventually she will be, too, but I don't see any harm in sparing someone the confusion.

[ParisPaulette]

Sit it out, let the mom contact you and then explain what happened IF the scarf even shows up. It might not given it was so long ago and the merchant can't be reached. And no, it doesn't look like a ploy to get at him any more than the being Facebookf friends with the mom and her wishing you a Happy B Day does.

 

Should it arrive explain to his mom exactly what you've explained on here. And let your ex think what he wants to think. The mom can explain it to him, worst case scenario he says to himself, "Aha! She's trying to get back with me," then waits and waits and waits and waaaaiaiiiittts for you to contact him. And then is a little disappointed/hurt/relieved when that doesn't happen. Forgets about it and moves on like you should too.

 

Meanwhile go live your life.

[Sarah Whittle]

**Whew**

 

Thanks everyone, I was kinda freaking out. I completely forgot about it until yesterday. I will just let it ride out and see what happens. I would feel really awkward sending her a message (haven't spoken with her since early February) and then it turn out that the scarf never showed. It was not expensive (under $20 with shipping) so I don't think it would send the wrong message in that way. Just worried about a present from 'the two of us' showing up on her doorstep out the blue like that.

 

If I remember, the card was dated back in November, so it should be obvious what happened? Ugh.

 

Annie24, I can't remember her name or the name she had her company under. At the time, she had no online presence (older lady, not computer savy), she got her merchandise from family in India I think; so not custom orders either.