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My ex called me yesterday. Am I reading too much into this?

Rockies2505

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Rockies2505 Rookie

Rockies2505

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After breaking up 3 months ago, and 2 month NC my ex called me yesterday. The first 2 minutes were basically just exchanging pleasantries. After getting that out of the way she asked me if I could return one of her notebooks that she had let me borrow at the beginning of the school semester as it, "had important notes in it". I said that I would gladly return it and we tentatively scheduled for me to go to her place on Thursday afternoon.

 

Couple of questions:

1. Why now? Its been months. It seems like a weird time to ask for a notebook now. I actually looked inside it and it was 3 pages worth of information that could easily have been googled.

 

2. Is it possible that its a pretext to reopen the lines of communication? I'm fully aware that she *most* likely just wants her notebook back, but is it possible that she just threw some lame excuse at me just to see me? I hope I'm not reading too much into this...

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Billie28 Mentor

Billie28

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She just wants her notebook back. That's all she said and that's all you need to know.

 

It's irrelevant why and any reasons you come up with are only assumptions.

 

Tell her you can't make Tuesday but tell her you will drop notebook off another time. Don't say when, but leave it at the door another time but asap.

 

If she wants to see you for another reason then make her say it! So that you don't have to make assumptions.

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Lumos Rookie

Lumos

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Next to no girl is going to flat out say "I made a massive mistake, let me drop my panties and get back together". LMAO.

 

That is why a dumpee should assume any contact from an ex during a period of No Contact (i.e 2 months or 6 months or whatever) is her reaching out and wanting to see you.

 

 

 

Don't waste your time reading Reddit posts by men who clearly don't understand women

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realistic1817 Newbie

realistic1817

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I am not sure I agree with this. Some women are shy, and would never approach a situation so aggressively at first. For example, I would never contact an ex and be so direct to indicate I want to get back together. I would contact them trying to establish lines of communication, and if it ended bad I probably would call with some bs reason to get the ball rolling. I can determine from their response if I should pursue it or if it is probably in my best interest to leave it alone.

 

No expert at all, just giving my opinion on how I would approach it. I think if he doesn't get his hopes up, and able to emotionally walk away if that is all she really wants then it cant hurt. If there is an ounce of him thinks by seeing her it will take him 2 steps back then do as others suggested, leave it somewhere for her so he doesn't have to see her.

 

Let us know how it goes.

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Shane Falco Rookie

Shane Falco

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I am not sure I agree with this. Some women are shy, and would never approach a situation so aggressively at first. For example, I would never contact an ex and be so direct to indicate I want to get back together. I would contact them trying to establish lines of communication, and if it ended bad I probably would call with some bs reason to get the ball rolling. I can determine from their response if I should pursue it or if it is probably in my best interest to leave it alone.

 

No expert at all, just giving my opinion on how I would approach it. I think if he doesn't get his hopes up, and able to emotionally walk away if that is all she really wants then it cant hurt. If there is an ounce of him thinks by seeing her it will take him 2 steps back then do as others suggested, leave it somewhere for her so he doesn't have to see her.

 

Let us know how it goes.

 

If a woman really wants a guy, they are going to eventually come correct. If your pride is worth more than getting back together with a guy, how serious could you possibly be about that guy? I'm sorry, you don't get the benefit of the guy you dumped having to chase after you. That's just not cool.

 

I agree that many women (and men for that matter) will initially throw breadcrumbs instead of just coming out and saying what they want. But the ones who are serious are the ones who will be more forthright when necessary. The ones who fade away aren't serious about reconciliation in the first place.

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Rockies2505 Rookie

Rockies2505

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Everyone has made very valid points. I'm sure that there's nothing more to this than her just wanting her dang notebook back. At the same time it feels like a very silly reason to call. I find it even weirder since she called me almost at midnight.

 

I just can't help, but feel like I should go. If I show up and she says, "Thanks. Bye". Then at least I'll know that it's truly over. It won't set me back as I feel as I've been progressing nicely. I might be a little hurt, but nothing I can't handle. If I show up and she wants to grab a coffee or something then I'll know that there might be something still there. I feel just by showing up I'll get *some* sort of answers.

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Rockies2505 Rookie

Rockies2505

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Quick update (not that anyone cares):

 

I show up and she shows up 5 min later. We say hi. She hands me a bag full of all the gifts I had given her during our time together. I hand her her notebook. She says thanks and leaves.

 

Wow. This is more painful than I imagined it would. At least now I know.

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Rockies2505 Rookie

Rockies2505

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mustlovedogs,

 

Yeah it sucks. I feel like she could have texted me and asked me to drop it off somewhere rather than go through this whole ordeal. She couldn't even look me in the eye.

 

Oh well, life goes on. Only thing to do now is go back to NC and keep working on myself.

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realistic1817 Newbie

realistic1817

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If a woman really wants a guy, they are going to eventually come correct. If your pride is worth more than getting back together with a guy, how serious could you possibly be about that guy? I'm sorry, you don't get the benefit of the guy you dumped having to chase after you. That's just not cool.

 

I agree that many women (and men for that matter) will initially throw breadcrumbs instead of just coming out and saying what they want. But the ones who are serious are the ones who will be more forthright when necessary. The ones who fade away aren't serious about reconciliation in the first place.

 

Yes breadcrumbs at first, eventually if that doesn't work and she really wants to get back together she will show more persistence. I was merely responding to the initial response he got about the notebook. Some post to ignore unless she states she wants to reconcile and I don't think it would be wise to just ignore someone cause she hasn't said the magic words. Having said that, I don't think anyone should assume it means they want to reconcile either. It's just a step possibly in the right direction.

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realistic1817 Newbie

realistic1817

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Quick update (not that anyone cares):

 

I show up and she shows up 5 min later. We say hi. She hands me a bag full of all the gifts I had given her during our time together. I hand her her notebook. She says thanks and leaves.

 

Wow. This is more painful than I imagined it would. At least now I know.

 

She was trying to hurt you by giving you back all the gifts you gave her. She appears to be very emotional and quite upset with you. Do not be fooled by what she did, she is hurting. You keep going about your life, but I suspect you will be hearing from her soon.

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