Ella2009 Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 hi so do most of you think meeting a ex GF for dinner or lunch means you are on a date? But he is perfectly ok to meet when there are other people present like at his work etc..... Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Yes it's a date, unless it's to discuss something like kids,etc..do most of you think meeting a ex GF for dinner or lunch means you are on a date? Link to comment
Clinton Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Depends on context. If the guy is the dumper then he's be OK meeting in a crowd of people but would think the girl is looking to reconnect in a one on one situation. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 hi so do most of you think meeting a ex GF for dinner or lunch means you are on a date? Not necessarily. What makes you think it is? Link to comment
abitbroken Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 hi so do most of you think meeting a ex GF for dinner or lunch means you are on a date? But he is perfectly ok to meet when there are other people present like at his work etc..... If an ex called me up and asked me to go to lunch with him, I would think he was trying to win me back, was trying for a second chance, trying to hang on to me or trying to date me. If there is anything he had to say to me - "hey, i found your baby album when I unpacked what I took from the house" - then he can communicate by email or mail. If you are in his industry and have to see him at his place of business and have no choice but to interact - then that's another matter - but going for a one on one lunch - why would you do that? Curiosity? I would think lunch, a movie, dinner, anything besides necessity communication can be construed as interest. Link to comment
j.man Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Because it's pretty much common sense. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 I would think it's a fishing expedition, an opportunity to find out over lunch if there is an opportunity for friendship, for fwb, if there still is something there... I wouldn't call it a date except in the sense that i might call other obligations on my calendar a date. "Date" implies intention, and intention is missing. Link to comment
DoF Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Of course he thinks it's a date. ANY contact with Ex = some interest left. Do what you should've done long ago, cut him off complete. And if there is kids involved, keep the relationship at KIDS ONLY. Problem solved Link to comment
Tanzi Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 so do most of you think meeting a ex GF for dinner or lunch means you are on a date? No I think it means we are meeting for dinner or lunch. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Are you the one who wants to meet up with your ex, and he's saying it would be a "date"? Link to comment
Shane Falco Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Context is pretty important. How far removed are you from the relationship? Who's the dumped? Who's the dumper? Are either of you dating anyone? What type of restaurant are you going to? If you're the dumper, then you asking the dumpee to grab a meal or a drink one-on-one is going to be treated as a date by the dumpee if you are pretty recently removed from the break (definitely within 6 months, maybe even out to a year removed). So you need to be prepared for them trying to convince you to get back. If you're the dumpee, the dumper will probably think you are trying to get back with them if you're recently removed. They'll either take the invitation and rebuff your advances, take the invitation on the condition that you know that this isn't a date, or just ignore/reject it. Link to comment
Ella2009 Posted April 27, 2016 Author Share Posted April 27, 2016 Yes it's a date, unless it's to discuss something like kids,etc.. But what if its just to have lunch/dinner? casual....and have no kids lol. Isn't date when its romatically involving people? Link to comment
Ella2009 Posted April 27, 2016 Author Share Posted April 27, 2016 Depends on context. If the guy is the dumper then he's be OK meeting in a crowd of people but would think the girl is looking to reconnect in a one on one situation. Yes, guy is the dumper and works in a bar and is ok with meeting up at his "work" but not to have dinner etc some place else Link to comment
Ella2009 Posted April 27, 2016 Author Share Posted April 27, 2016 Not necessarily. What makes you think it is? well during a fight when we were supposedly friends he said i dont want us to have dinner and date. also why ok to meet at his work but not in a bar/restaurant? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 So is he saying just stop in sometime or asking for a date?Yes, guy is the dumper and works in a bar and is ok with meeting up at his "work" but not to have dinner etc some place else Link to comment
Ella2009 Posted April 27, 2016 Author Share Posted April 27, 2016 Because it's pretty much common sense. Thanks....for me date is when you want are involved romantically. not when you are just meeting up... Link to comment
Ella2009 Posted April 27, 2016 Author Share Posted April 27, 2016 I would think it's a fishing expedition, an opportunity to find out over lunch if there is an opportunity for friendship, for fwb, if there still is something there... I wouldn't call it a date except in the sense that i might call other obligations on my calendar a date. "Date" implies intention, and intention is missing. that was my thought too until i read the mens perpective Link to comment
Ella2009 Posted April 27, 2016 Author Share Posted April 27, 2016 No I think it means we are meeting for dinner or lunch. see i think this is how we differ from men. men see it as date and i see it as you do. Link to comment
Ella2009 Posted April 27, 2016 Author Share Posted April 27, 2016 Are you the one who wants to meet up with your ex, and he's saying it would be a "date"? yes...he doesn't say its a date but has said so before.... Link to comment
bulletproof Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Yes, guy is the dumper and works in a bar and is ok with meeting up at his "work" but not to have dinner etc some place else That's because he doesn't want to be one on one with you, I think. I think the question of whether it's a date or not is entirely irrelevant. He's not comfortable meeting up in a situation that could even be remotely perceived as a date, even if it wouldn't be in other contexts. Why are you bothering with all this? Link to comment
Ella2009 Posted April 27, 2016 Author Share Posted April 27, 2016 Context is pretty important. How far removed are you from the relationship? Who's the dumped? Who's the dumper? Are either of you dating anyone? What type of restaurant are you going to? If you're the dumper, then you asking the dumpee to grab a meal or a drink one-on-one is going to be treated as a date by the dumpee if you are pretty recently removed from the break (definitely within 6 months, maybe even out to a year removed). So you need to be prepared for them trying to convince you to get back. If you're the dumpee, the dumper will probably think you are trying to get back with them if you're recently removed. They'll either take the invitation and rebuff your advances, take the invitation on the condition that you know that this isn't a date, or just ignore/reject it. So he did the dumping, i did the things you are not supposed to and then went NC for 50 days or so. then called him and so far he says come by my work (he works in a bar rather owns it) instead of accepting to go out. mind you its just been 2 weeks since i ended the NC. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Unfortunately that doesn't sound too promising.then called him and so far he says come by my work (he works in a bar rather owns it) instead of accepting to go out. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 You're the one suggesting meeting up for dinner, do I have this correct? Is your goal to get back together? And if so, how does he feel about getting back together? Has he expressed that he wants to? Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 I think the larger point is, Why bother? Maybe it is just to catch up, see how you're doing and vice versa. Why, though. Why invest your time? What are YOUR motivations? Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 that was my thought too until i read the mens perpective Yes but it's still a fishing expedition. Why are you doing this? Link to comment
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