bulletproof Posted April 22, 2016 Share Posted April 22, 2016 Well icing on the cake, as soon as I found that pipe, "J"'s daughter got dropped off unexpectedly so I called his mom (who's going to pick her up in a few) and told her about the pipe. Extract yourself from this situation, and don't feed the drama anymore. What are you getting out of staying besides avoiding loneliness? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted April 22, 2016 Share Posted April 22, 2016 Yes, well my apartment. He's not on the lease. I know he has to go I just can't help feeling that if I were closer (distance) to my family, this wouldn't hurt as bad. I don't know why seemingly smart women hitch their wagons to losers. In your case, it sounds like you have no support system. I would advise you to make a plan to move closer to home after your lease is up. Your bf will easily find another woman to mooch off of. Women like you often spend their most attractive and fertile years with idiots and then wonder why they never found a good man to have a family with. Link to comment
DaniArizona Posted April 23, 2016 Author Share Posted April 23, 2016 Ended up having his daughter for 6 hours, my friend wanted to go to this big park when she got off work so we took his daughter and I called his mom to pick her up there. "J" came along for some reason but completely ignored my existence (I did the same to him) and than his mom wanted to talk, told me he thinks I'm cheating on him and how much he loves me... All that stuff and my friend was getting annoyed hearing all that (she does NOT like "J") so eventually I said I had to go and ended the conversation. Link to comment
DaniArizona Posted April 23, 2016 Author Share Posted April 23, 2016 I don't know why seemingly smart women hitch their wagons to losers. In your case, it sounds like you have no support system. I would advise you to make a plan to move closer to home after your lease is up. Your bf will easily find another woman to mooch off of. Women like you often spend their most attractive and fertile years with idiots and then wonder why they never found a good man to have a family with. That has been on my mind for a while now actually. I want a normal life, with a normal person and I'm going to be 30 in August and I can just hear the clock ticking. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 That has been on my mind for a while now actually. I want a normal life, with a normal person and I'm going to be 30 in August and I can just hear the clock ticking. Well it's going to stop ticking in a few years. It could take you several years to find the right guy let alone decide to have kids together. You are way wasting your time. Link to comment
kbbcoop77 Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 People give you advice and you just ignore them and keep yapping about this loser and his family. Get away from them. Make it a priority. They bring nothing but anxiety and illegal behavior. God, why are you staying? I would run like the place was on fire ..most people would. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 Decide whether you want to continue the drama with this guy and his family or extricate yourself from this and find a responsible non-drug using man. As long as drugs and dysfunction dominate this situation, there will be no "normal life, with a normal person"I want a normal life, with a normal person Link to comment
DaniArizona Posted April 23, 2016 Author Share Posted April 23, 2016 Yeah, I've dated men who never treated me like they probably should have, and men who were great but things just didn't work out... I don't think I've ever dated a guy who has given me such a bleak outlook on our future together as much as "J" has. Link to comment
DaniArizona Posted April 23, 2016 Author Share Posted April 23, 2016 I woke up this morning with my mind made up. I'm going to pack his things today and drop it off at his dad's. I'm not telling "J" before hand. Im cutting ties today. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 I woke up this morning with my mind made up. I'm going to pack his things today and drop it off at his dad's. I'm not telling "J" before hand. Im cutting ties today. There you go! One step at a time. Focus on no contact with him while you're saving money. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 Have you tried leaving before? How does he react?I woke up this morning with my mind made up. I'm going to pack his things today and drop it off at his dad's. I'm not telling "J" before hand. Im cutting ties today. Link to comment
DaniArizona Posted April 23, 2016 Author Share Posted April 23, 2016 I wouldn't leave it's my place. I pay all the bills. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 And when he shows up acting like nothing happened, are you going to take him back? Link to comment
DaniArizona Posted April 23, 2016 Author Share Posted April 23, 2016 Absolutely not. Yesterday when "J" and his mom FINALLY picked his daughter up, his mom told me they took so long because they had a beer at the bowling alley with "J"'s step sister who is disgusting in every single aspect a person can be disgusting. In fact, we made the agreement when we got back together last time that a stipulation is that she had to be 100% out of both our lives (yes, she is that terrible). His daughter kept wanting to call him. I even texted him to let him know it was his daughter calling him and not me. He wouldn't answer. He would rather leave his daughter with his ex girlfriend all day so he can drink with a disgusting excuse of a human being than even care if his daughter was okay and who she was even with! She isn't my kid! Just thinking about that today has driven into me that this HAS to be over now. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 I'm glad to hear that. I really hope you stick to your current resolve because the only way you're going to get the life you want is to keep him and his entire family out of your life. Link to comment
DaniArizona Posted April 24, 2016 Author Share Posted April 24, 2016 Oh yeah without a doubt. I'm cleaning my apartment right now. Little by little getting all his stuff in a giant pole to pack up. Link to comment
PinkizMe Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 By just observing your posts, am I right to say you haven't allowed yourself to get to know "You" without having a man in your life? You speak of loneliness and that is why you have kept him in your life until now. Why not put "You" first. That means do a few things you have always wanted to but due to having these men around, you lost sight of those things. Why not take an art class or a dance class? Or take up photography or write that novel that you have always wanted to (suggestions I'm throwing out there) or save up your money and travel - maybe to Europe. My point is, instead of sinking so much energy into a man that can't possibly make "You" happy, why not take that energy and use it on your own self. Play music you like when you come home to an empty place. Learn to cook (not saying you don't already know how) so you can fix up some great dishes then invite some of your girls over for a night of food and movies? Prove to these guys you don't need them nor the drama they bring with them. Change your hair style and color, have a make over. Become the woman you were meant to be. Don't ever settle for who these men make you to be. You are so much more and deserve so much more. Stop selling yourself short. Spread your wings and fly! Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 Excellent...just keep moving forward and the insanity of it all will eventually fade as you get your bearing free of all the chaos. Has the family contacted you?Oh yeah without a doubt. I'm cleaning my apartment right now. Little by little getting all his stuff in a giant pole to pack up. Link to comment
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