Krankor Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 So, she should have been at his beck and call as if she were an escort, rather than his girlfriend? Women are not robots! Don't do anything you don't want to do. Just realize that not meeting your partner's needs--whether they are physical or emotional--will drive your partner away sooner or later. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 We are both 26, and have been together for a year. We have talked about what I'd do if I got pregnant. I honestly don't think I could ever handle an abortion, I'm in school to be a Pediatric Nurse, and I know I just don't have the heart to terminate a pregnancy. He is completely against having kids right now, & I know that if I kept it, he'd freak out. He has also told me that in his past he's had two pregnancy scares with his ex. I think he heard this as "I don't wanna have sex with you" but he also didn't wanna hear any explanation. It's like he got offended that I wouldn't have sex with him because its been two weeks. He couldn't understand that now, all of a sudden, I don't wanna have sex until we're safe about it.Well, I suspect that is exactly what happened. It is a very likely explanation in any event. I think you should do your best to forget it, get yourself on BC and don't have sex without a condom until your BC kicks in (your doctor will advise you when that will be). I think after two weeks of not seeing one another he figured you'd be like him... ready for action and he just wasn't using his (big) head. If he's already had two pregnancy scares and he's not ready for children then tell him that you won't be having unprotected sex until your sure your BC is working because you don't want a baby as a single mom. If he doesn't understand that then I guess he's just that stupid. Had he suggested, "Okay, then here's what we CAN do to make both of us happy," I'm sure you'd willingly have done that. Not to be contrary but I wonder why, OP that you just didn't have some sex play that finished you both up without penial penetration volunteerily? Were you just not in the mood. Period. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Hollyj; let's say that you've had a really bad day and are really feeling in need of emotional support from your boyfriend. However, he's just in the mood for some alone time that day to drink some beer and play videogames. Should he realize that you are really in need of something from him and put his own wants aside at that moment, or should he not feel obligated to give you love and support despite how you are feeling that day because "it should be mutual"? Emotional support is different from sex. One requires much more activity than the other. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 I think from having had to store it up for a while. (?) Then he can satisfy himself. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Don't do anything you don't want to do. Just realize that not meeting your partner's needs--whether they are physical or emotional--will drive your partner away sooner or later. If he can't deal with a couple of weeks, then he wasn't the right match. Link to comment
ovoxo Posted February 1, 2016 Author Share Posted February 1, 2016 I've been working very long days that have been physically and mentally draining. Which is why I haven't seen him in two weeks. Our schedules just don't match up right now. I told him I just wanted to hangout, and he seemed slightly annoyed but I came over anyway. And when I get there, he was being aggressive the whole time. That's when I asked if we could hold off, until I'm back on BC, and he blew up at me. If he would have handled it like an adult, I would have been fine with getting him off in another way. However, I feel like he turned it into something way bigger than it was. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Does he act out in other areas? This behavior is usually not limited to just sex. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 I see what you did there!! Not sure what you meant, TM Link to comment
Dantheman30 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 This is the worst boyfriend you could ever get in history. Can't you get better than this? Leave and never go back. I know you can leave Link to comment
TMifune Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Not sure what you meant, TM I was making a childish joke on the word came since OP was talking about sex. It clearly didn't land! Link to comment
Willywagtail Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 women think they know what it's like to be horny, but they really don't. How do you know what women think? Clearly, you have no idea at all. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 I gotta ask...if you were physically and .mentally exhausted and he seemed annoyed when you said you wanted to go over...why go? Seems like kindling waiting for a match. I get you hadn't seen each other in 2 weeks...but that wasnt a very condusive set up. Link to comment
Movingforward3 Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 He's a guy. He wanted sex with his lady. You could have offered up a bj. Just saying if it was weeks It could be worse, he doesn't want sex with you. It's all perspective. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 He's a guy. He wanted sex with his lady. You could have offered up a bj. Just saying if it was weeks It could be worse, he doesn't want sex with you. It's all perspective. She was tired and not in the mood. Are we required to perform sexual acts every time we see our partners? Link to comment
Krankor Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Emotional support is different from sex. One requires much more activity than the other. Depends on your point of view. Sometimes when you are mentally exhausted and just need a little down time spending the night giving your partner emotional support is the last thing you want to do, but you recognize she needs it. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Depends on your point of view. Sometimes when you are mentally exhausted and just need a little down time spending the night giving your partner emotional support is the last thing you want to do, but you recognize she needs it. It depends on the issue. If there is a death in the family or one loses a job, I would expect that my partner would be there. I not dramatic and can usually deal with things on my own, without needing extra support. But, there are life changing times, when a partner should be a support, no matter their exhaustion level. Link to comment
ovoxo Posted February 2, 2016 Author Share Posted February 2, 2016 Does he act out in other areas? This behavior is usually not limited to just sex. Last Saturday he called me a few hours before he was going out with his friends, & asked if I could come over until he had to leave. I couldn't, because I had something to take care of with my family, and he threw a fit. But yes, he has anger issues when he doesn't get his way. Another example: one night, I asked if we could go to dinner and see a movie, just to have an easy relaxing night. We go to dinner, which I paid for... & as we're there, he gets a call from his friends telling him to come over & watch a fight. I didn't wanna go, because it wasn't my thing, & I was a little irritated that he'd blow off time with me to go do something completely different. I told him he could go, and that I'd meet him back at the house later. This caused such a tantrum that I ended up going with him. If he doesn't get his way in any situation, it's a problem. It wasn't always like this, & I have no idea what's causing it. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 You giving in to his tantrums. Link to comment
ovoxo Posted February 2, 2016 Author Share Posted February 2, 2016 I gotta ask...if you were physically and .mentally exhausted and he seemed annoyed when you said you wanted to go over...why go? Seems like kindling waiting for a match. I get you hadn't seen each other in 2 weeks...but that wasnt a very condusive set up. I realized that as soon as I got there 😒 but I was making time to see him. I wasn't in a bad mood or anything. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Last Saturday he called me a few hours before he was going out with his friends, & asked if I could come over until he had to leave. I couldn't, because I had something to take care of with my family, and he threw a fit. But yes, he has anger issues when he doesn't get his way. Another example: one night, I asked if we could go to dinner and see a movie, just to have an easy relaxing night. We go to dinner, which I paid for... & as we're there, he gets a call from his friends telling him to come over & watch a fight. I didn't wanna go, because it wasn't my thing, & I was a little irritated that he'd blow off time with me to go do something completely different. I told him he could go, and that I'd meet him back at the house later. This caused such a tantrum that I ended up going with him. If he doesn't get his way in any situation, it's a problem. It wasn't always like this, & I have no idea what's causing it. You need to be done with guy. He sounds like an inconsiderate, selfish, disrespectful jerk. For your next relationship, I would address your boundary issues, as you are going into doormat territory. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 If he doesn't get his way in any situation, it's a problem. It wasn't always like this, & I have no idea what's causing it. It's his way or the highway, I'd choose the highway. Link to comment
ovoxo Posted February 2, 2016 Author Share Posted February 2, 2016 You giving in to his tantrums. I try not to. But sometimes he'll cause a scene, or get really loud about it. If I don't give in, it usually ends up with me leaving and him being mad for a while. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 I try not to. But sometimes he'll cause a scene, or get really loud about it. If I don't give in, it usually ends up with me leaving and him being mad for a while. Good. Let him be made for a good long while. I have to ask...is he 6? He is so emotionally immature I don't see the attraction. Link to comment
ovoxo Posted February 2, 2016 Author Share Posted February 2, 2016 Good. Let him be made for a good long while. I have to ask...is he 6? He is so emotionally immature I don't see the attraction. This wasn't even a thing in the beginning, we have been together a year, it started happening in December. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Then stop giving into him. Put a bit of space and do things you enjoy instead of catering to his tantrums. Link to comment
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