Men have variety but.......

[Dougie_D]

I feel like women can't see it as attractive.

 

For instance, women have many different looks. And I think that's why men are more concerned about looks when wanting a woman. There are lots of variety. Our culture have created that.

 

But I feel that women can't see the variety of men and that's why they prefer a certain "standard type".

 

It doesn't seem until now that guys with scruff, or beards are "sexy".

 

This is more of a thread to discuss how men's fashion needs to change to help women realize that any male can be "sexy" and a society standard.

[Willywagtail]

I don't know where you get the idea that women prefer a certain standard type.

 

Look around you - women go out with all sorts of guys. Short ones, fat ones, dark ones, skinny ones, hairy ones, bald ones, tattooed ones, ugly ones.

 

I think you might just be referring to women in your immediate social circle.

 

Maybe you need to get out more?

[Dougie_D]

I don't know where you get the idea that women prefer a certain standard type.

 

Look around you - women go out with all sorts of guys. Short ones, fat ones, dark ones, skinny ones, hairy ones, bald ones, tattooed ones, ugly ones.

 

I think you might just be referring to women in your immediate social circle.

 

Maybe you need to get out more?

 

I live in LA. So that might be a problem but I'm not leaving anytime soon

[Fudgie]

Lots of people have a "type" but that type is different. If you polled any number of women, you'll see that they vary in what they are looking for.

[Dougie_D]

I wish someone can pin point what part of my body that is not attracting women. My ears? My nose? My lips? My chin? its really getting annoying

[Fudgie]

What makes you so sure it's your body that is turning women off? What if it's your mannerisms, personality, or sense of humor?

[Moontiger]

Ohg, there are plenty of "types" for men. Just a few that spring to mind are: Hipsters, Bros, Gym Rats, Lumbersexuals, Clean-cut/WASP, Country-Guy, etc.

 

There are a lot more these are just a few. And people are generally attracted to people they have stuff in common with. A male Gym-Rate and a female Gym Rat are more likely to be attracted to each other, for example, then with other "types" that don't like the gym. Here I'll let this video explain:

[Moontiger]

I wish someone can pin point what part of my body that is not attracting women. My ears? My nose? My lips? My chin? its really getting annoying

 

Dougie, you've mentioned in other threads that you are immature for your age. That's, in my opinion is the issue you should concentrate on.

[Man with Dog]

Dougie, you've mentioned in other threads that you are immature for your age. That's, in my opinion is the issue you should concentrate on.

 

... or maybe try to date younger women. I've found many don't mind an oldie.

[FlashEng1]

Dougie_D, welcome back

 

Despite you regularly commenting and participating throughout the forums, every few months you seem to post a new topic with a new poll/revelation you've found that justifies your thinking, or helps you understand why women and dating are so unfair/difficult and why it is that way.

 

But don't. You, nor I, nor EXPERTS who spend their entire careers scientifically or philosophically, fully understand or know why much of what you put out, is the way it is. Toss it up to "human nature." It's funny you mention LA because many of my more attractive friends have moved there, and come back to visit SA every other season. I get it.

 

First, men have way more options and variety than you can imagine.. I'm a metro sexual male who is proud to pull off the variety, and constantly is complimented on it. My personal understanding and passion of fashion came from being teased when I was a child, and could not afford the Nike shoes, but rather, the Wal-Mart/Payless shoes that had a backwards check mark... Kids know.

 

You want to know what part of your body is not attracting women?? It's Your Mind.... Your head game is ALLLL wrong, and no matter how many statistics you find in your favor, no matter how many articles you can relate to, and no matter how many threads you start; if you can't come to grips with that, and work on your thinking first and foremost, no woman will enter your world and improve it.

 

The day I see broke 300 lb guys ALWAYS get rejected by the cute, sexy 125 lb banker, will be the day anything you've said makes any sense about human interaction... But until then, there are men of ALLLLLLLL shapes and sizes and "deformaties" out and about sealing the deal, getting a headache over the cute girl constantly texting them, and living life beyond whatever stereotypes you are trying to form to help you through the day.

 

Change the way you think, and everything else about you will follow.

[Doc Blaze]

I wish someone can pin point what part of my body that is not attracting women. My ears? My nose? My lips? My chin? its really getting annoying

 

didn't your friends try to help you with your looks and you just ignored their advice?

[Man with Dog]

In my experience, some people are extremely attractive and some are revoltingly ugly. These are in the minority. The other 99%+ of us will find that to the majority of the opposite sex (or same sex if we are gay) we are just invisible. There's about 10% who might find us attractive enough to want to know a bit more about us and will, more often than not, not pursue it any further. Then there's 0.5 to 1% who find us irresistible.

 

So remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Unless you are really gorgeous, you need to find the right beholder.

 

Also, if you are dateless, consider dating outside your own demographic. If I'd restricted myself to girls 0-3 years younger and the same race/nationality, I'd still be single today.

[John John]

Actually, Dougie, on the contrary, you should be happy you're a guy from this standpoint - while women definitely care about looks, you can greatly benefit from the fact that women have highly varied tastes when it comes to what they find attractive. And, unlike women (to a large degree), we can "compensate" for our faults to some degree with our careers, status, confidence, etc. Women have it rougher in the sense that if we aren't attracted to them (and attraction is subjective, remember), it's pretty much over.

 

Stop complaining and do something dude. From all that we've told you on here, you should have all the knowledge necessary to put a plan in action to better yourself.

[derPhilosoph]

It seems like there is nothing more beautiful to look at than a beautiful woman.... I hate my animal nature sometimes!

[ParisPaulette]

I live in LA. So that might be a problem but I'm not leaving anytime soon

 

My condolences, Dougie. That's a very tough town to try dating in if you only "see" the movie star wannabes and ignore the rest of the people that make up L.A.

 

Realize you live on another planet then change who you try and date, you'd be surprised. L.A. only feels like a cliché if you go after the cliches and ignore the rest. Hint, a blonde buxom beach type who moved there with the intent of tracking down and marrying a mutligazillionaire is not going to be interested in a regular guy. The woman who isn't interested in being a movie star or marrying one, will date regular people like everyone else.

 

And not every woman dates a "standard type" whatever that even means. I never have, none of the guys I've ever had a relationship has looked like any of the others. I so don't have a type that that's almost my type--you have to be different, no cookie cutter types allowed.

 

You're seeing things through a lense that isn't real, isn't the norm, and you likely just keep going with the superficial crowd there. Look beyond, that city is about more than pretty superficial men and women. Stop hanging out in the che-che little hotspots of "in-ness" and you will find real people. And for the love of all holy, please do not be a hipster or hang with the hipsters. No scruffy little beards and wool caps in summer and hornrim glasses.

 

And I could ban skinny jeans for me I would. Seriously.

[thejigsup]

I hate scruff and I live in L.A., too. People think it is all about the body and looks. I don't live on the Westside, where that mindset is most prevalent. Outside of there, we are just like people anywhere else. I like tall men who are clean shaven for the most part. Any race but Asian is attractive to me. I like BIG men, so a little paunch is fine as long as they have broad shoulders. My main consideration is brains. Keen intelligence is a must. Also, I prefer men that have their own business. I do, too, and it is easier to sync our schedules when we both are a bit more flexible with strange hours. I would prefer at least a Master's degree, but if a man is uber smart a Bachelor's is fine. Masculine is a must! Any man I date must be handy at fixing and building things. I love that! I'm not a romantic, so I would prefer the man is not gushy. Flowers and cards turn me off. I love it when a man wears a suit, nothing sexier. I'll wager every woman on here likes a different type, just like men. Don't sort people according to gender. It is always going to be off by a long margin.

[boltnrun]

I lived in L.A. for many years. One thing that struck me was the astounding variety of people who live in Southern California. Every single race, color, creed, size you can think of lives there. How wonderful!

 

I also found that certain events attracted certain types of people. I went to one event for 10 straight years, starting in my mid 20s, where it seemed like EVERYONE was stunningly beautiful...except for me. I was "decent" in my 20s, and in good shape, but jeez Louise, these people were GORGEOUS! I felt intimidated. BUT, other events I went to were full of everyday, average people like me. And lots of those everyday, average people were coupled.

 

So yes, average people with weak chins, with hook noses, with pot bellies, with flat behinds, with small saggy breasts, with balding heads, with acne, those who are 6'3" and 120 lbs., those who are 5'4" and 200 lbs...each of these types can be found in loving relationships.

 

So, it's not like a woman meets you and thinks to herself "nope, he's got a receding chin (just an example), not interested!" It doesn't work that way.

 

I'm short, have a "petite" figure (which means, not busty), have dark hair going gray and am middle aged. And men approach me to talk. Some of them even think I'm attractive. And I doubt that "short, middle aged, graying hair" is a type that men think of when they are imagining their ideal woman! But they approach anyway. I figure it's because I smile and act like I'm having fun, and men want to be around that.

 

It's an attitude, not a physical feature, that attracts.

[thejigsup]

Yeah, I'm a tall, dark blonde, busty, somewhat overweight, woman in her late 50s. You'd think in L.A., where all the "beautiful people" live, I would be out of luck. Nope. I'm not looking, but men approach me often and ask me out or for my phone number. Some people here are gorgeous, note I said "some", but most people here look like people anywhere else. I love how people have this image of L.A. as some hotbed of sex, money, and movie stars. Funny! We have as many plumbers, garbage men, fast food workers, teachers, bankers, auto mechanics as anywhere else. Get real people! Hollywood (which is a pit, by the way. No one but out-of-towners goes there unless they have to) is only a very small percentage of the total area. Most people are everyday folks. We have every age, gender, race, religion, and sexual preference in the world here. I love it!! That is why I live here. I was born here and I have never lived in a more accepting place.

[John John]

I hate scruff and I live in L.A., too. People think it is all about the body and looks. I don't live on the Westside, where that mindset is most prevalent. Outside of there, we are just like people anywhere else. I like tall men who are clean shaven for the most part. Any race but Asian is attractive to me. I like BIG men, so a little paunch is fine as long as they have broad shoulders. My main consideration is brains. Keen intelligence is a must. Also, I prefer men that have their own business. I do, too, and it is easier to sync our schedules when we both are a bit more flexible with strange hours. I would prefer at least a Master's degree, but if a man is uber smart a Bachelor's is fine. Masculine is a must! Any man I date must be handy at fixing and building things. I love that! I'm not a romantic, so I would prefer the man is not gushy. Flowers and cards turn me off. I love it when a man wears a suit, nothing sexier. I'll wager every woman on here likes a different type, just like men. Don't sort people according to gender. It is always going to be off by a long margin.

 

Geez...I mean, you're totally entitled to your preferences (and you don't need me to tell you that, I know)...but you are one tough cookie!

 

Even when I fit some girls' requirements (I already know I don't fit yours jigsup), when they are laid out in such a way...even if I tick all her boxes and I'm attracted to her...it kinda kills it.

 

But I know online we can say whatever we want. I'm sure you don't go around holding this list in your hands saying that's what you want. I don't think anyone does that. You're too smart to do that!

[boltnrun]

Geez...I mean, you're totally entitled to your preferences (and you don't need me to tell you that, I know)...but you are one tough cookie!

 

Even when I fit some girls' requirements (I already know I don't fit your jigsup), when they are laid out in such a way...even if I tick all her boxes and I'm attracted to her...it kinda kills it.

 

I'm picturing a big, clean-shaven dude who is taking a few minutes out of running his business to change out the water heater while wearing a suit. (And I'm just teasing...my sense of humor is a little out there).

[John John]

I'm picturing a big, clean-shaven dude who is taking a few minutes out of running his business to change out the water heater while wearing a suit. (And I'm just teasing...my sense of humor is a little out there).

 

I'm picturing a guy who is basically "perfect." Tall, big, smart, runs his own business, MBA/JD required (keeping my mouth shut on one or two other preferences)...lol. But I did think I heard jigsup say in another thread she doesn't care about facial looks...so...let your imagination run wild!

 

To each his/her own!

[Moontiger]

I prefer men with dark hair and eyes, I don't why I just always have. I also prefer slightly shy nerdy guys and for my entire life I said I would never date a jock. At the same time I've always been attracted to guys who can do the stereotypical man-skills like knowing how to use power tools and grilling but it has to be coupled with an ability to hold a conversation, sense of humor and intellectual curiosity. Well, I'm moving in with my boyfriend in a week, he played college football and cannot grill, lol.

 

He and I see the world the same way, have the same values, we respect each other. We are both intellectually curious but went in completely opposite directions when in school so we have a variety of things to talk about and learn from each other. I would not trade this for a guy who hates sports and can grill because Bruce is who I love and he throw many of my preferences right out the window.

[Dougie_D]

How can a woman find my brain sexy when we aren't a match. Or when I know they visit my profile and don't want to engage in conversation. I'm talking about online dating. My guy roommate is your typical ideal guy and gets a butt load of women talking to him. Online dating is becoming the norm. I base everything by looks because that's how online dating works. Women swipe no like 90% of the time. That's so picky.

[Moontiger]

Dougie, the only advice, at this point I can give you is to go back and re-read every reply to all the threads you have posted on this site.

[reinventmyself]

Dougie, the only advice, at this point I can give you is to go back and re-read every reply to all the threads you have posted on this site.

Or don't online date.

Meet women in real life.

But I am pretty sure we've covered that too