Men have variety but.......

[Dougie_D]

I'm talking about online dating. Some of them you swipe left and no. Why am I constantly get rejected? I hate to believe I have facial flaws but if I don't then why am I being rejected so quickly. They don't know about my personality, etc...

[Dougie_D]

OK, Dougie, are you at the top of the stairs? Here goes...

 

You come across as ornery and argumentative. You ask for advice, then expend tons of energy dismissing ALL of it. You refuse to believe anything anyone says, then you complain that you can't find a woman. You insist it's a physical trait that is holding you back despite so much evidence against that. I mean, have you EVER seen a man with a "weak chin" with a woman? I'm sure you have. I know for a fact that it is NOT a man's "weak chin" that prevents him from succeeding with women. Yet, it seems easier for you to blame your "weak chin" than it is for you to accept that maybe, just maybe, it's your methods that are flawed. And your attitude.

 

I wrote this in the hope that you meant it when you said you wanted a push down the stairs. Whether or not you'll take any of this to heart is another story.

 

PS: I could sit at home and complain about how it's my skinny legs that are preventing me from dating men. But it's not. It's ME. I sit at home instead of going out places to meet people. It's MY fault, not my frizzy hair's fault. If I got my (somewhat round) butt out the door once in a while, I'm sure that my personality, intelligence and confidence would draw men my way. But, I need to get out there and DO it. And NOT at clubs or pool parties where the young, hot kids hang out, but at places where I'm likely to meet a man who could be a good fit for ME.

 

Do you ever do online dating sites or apps? And if so, how often do you reject guys based off their looks?

[boltnrun]

I'm talking about online dating. Some of them you swipe left and no. Why am I constantly get rejected? I hate to believe I have facial flaws but if I don't then why am I being rejected so quickly. They don't know about my personality, etc...

 

Are you using the same pic you have here?

 

Air mattress on the floor, nothing on the walls...it looks like you're camping out in Grandma's basement.

 

Perhaps a better location...on your bike, outside on a hike, something...

 

Again, you asked for a push down the stairs, so...

[boltnrun]

Do you ever do online dating sites or apps? And if so, how often do you reject guys based off their looks?

 

I reject them based on certain things in their pictures. If they're holding a large gun, reject (I don't like hunting). If they're not in the military and are wearing anything camo, reject (see previous reason). If it's obvious some female was cut out of the pic, reject.

 

But, I don't use Tinder, which I understand is the "swiping" site. I'm too old for "hookups" with young kids (not to mention, uninterested in "hookups" in general), so that site is useless to me. Any other site I've been on shows the profile along with the pic, so I READ the profile.

[Dougie_D]

Are you using the same pic you have here?

 

Air mattress on the floor, nothing on the walls...it looks like you're camping out in Grandma's basement.

 

Perhaps a better location...on your bike, outside on a hike, something...

 

Again, you asked for a push down the stairs, so...

 

Not same picture, but why would that even matter? So I would be dismissed because of where my location is? That's quick judgement don't you think?

[boltnrun]

Not same picture, but why would that even matter? So I would be dismissed because of where my location is? That's quick judgement don't you think?

 

That's what "swiping" is! A quick judgment!

[Capricorn3]

I really didn't want to post in this thread at all, because ALL your threads end up the same - every. single. one. of. them. BUT, now I am curious to know something:

 

You say you want a push down the stairs. Ok. Lets just say that every single person here said to you, "YES Dougie, it IS your looks. We don't think you are attractive at all. Yes, it is your nose, your eyes, your chin, your mouth, your teeth, your hair, your body, your height etc etc". What can you do about it? Will that change anything? Will that change your attitude? Will having that knowledge suddenly get you dates? See where I'm going with this?

 

Change your attitude, change your entire outlook. For ONCE, take on board ALL of the very good advice, the very helpful and constructive advice you have been give over all these years, and then maybe, just maybe, your life will change for the better and you may even score some decent dates which will lead to a relationship.

 

No doubt, this was another wasted post and wasted time, which will get ignored like all the rest. I'm really not sure why you bother asking for all the help and advice when you clearly have no intention of EVER listening anyway. (Sorry if that comes across as harsh, but it needs to be said).

[Dougie_D]

That's what "swiping" is! A quick judgment!

 

If my picture shows no location then I'm being judged purely by my physical appearance than.

[boltnrun]

If my picture shows no location then I'm being judged purely by my physical appearance than.

 

Is your pic just a cutout of your head, then?

 

That's...a little strange.

[Dougie_D]

I really didn't want to post in this thread at all, because ALL your threads end up the same - every. single. one. of. them. BUT, now I am curious to know something:

 

You say you want a push down the stairs. Ok. Lets just say that every single person here said to you, "YES Dougie, it IS your looks. We don't think you are attractive at all. Yes, it is your nose, your eyes, your chin, your mouth, your teeth, your hair, your body, your height etc etc". What can you do about it? Will that change anything? Will that change your attitude? Will having that knowledge suddenly get you dates? See where I'm going with this?

 

Change your attitude, change your entire outlook. For ONCE, take on board ALL of the very good advice, the very helpful and constructive advice you have been give over all these years, and then maybe, just maybe, your life will change for the better and you may even score some decent dates which will lead to a relationship.

 

No doubt, this was another wasted post and wasted time, which will get ignored like all the rest. I'm really not sure why you bother asking for all the help and advice when you clearly have no intention of EVER listening anyway. (Sorry if that comes across as harsh, but it needs to be said).

 

Having the knowledge that it's based on features I can't control allows me the realization to never pursue or even think about being happy with a woman. It's more about I need a reason to not set myself for failure. If it's a weight issue than I'm working on it. But let's say I lose 30 lbs to being a 5'6 and 145 lbs. People couldn't say it's weight. If they do, they are being extremely picky about it.

I don't like the idea of consistently changing to "help a little". I've gone phases of changing my style , my hair, etc.. But it's seems like I will always be looked past for a better man based on looks.

I need to know now so I can not worry about it and move on with my life

[Moontiger]

You argue with all the advice you're given, which means you've already made up your mind. That's fine, but don't keep asking the same questions if you refuse to accept the answers.

[Ms Darcy]

I feel like that women who I met in real life are not very nice. We can have a great conversation and then I'll ask for their number. If I do indeed get the number , I realize later on they have a boyfriend or they just see us as friends, or they keep saying they are "busy" that weekend.

 

You are totally right. Most women are pretty mean. Like 99%. We yell at babies and kick dogs when men are not looking. Puppy dogs too.

 

I wish women could be nice. It's not in our DNA.

[youareworthy]

Dear Dougie,

 

Physically, you are a dead wringer for the lovely, amazing husband of one of my close friends. His wife is funny, kind, smart, and sexy, and they have a great marriage and two terrific kids. Your lack of success with women has ZERO to do with your looks.

 

I have only been on ENA a short time, and I haven't read the years' worth of advice you have been given, so I may be repeating what others have said, but this is what I see:

 

There is only one truth here, and EVERYTHING ELSE is an excuse.

 

 

You don't want a wife and kids. You are too afraid. Period.

[Moontiger]

You are totally right. Most women are pretty mean. Like 99%. We yell at babies and kick dogs when men are looking. Puppy dogs too.

 

I wish women could be nice. It's not in our DNA.

 

Dang, way to let out our secret Ms. Darcy, I was hoping to have anoth solid decade of kicking puppies without anyone finding out...

[boltnrun]

Dougie, I'll say one more thing and then I'm done.

 

A guy I work with is short (about 5'6"), is overweight, wears coke bottle glasses, has acne, is pigeon toed and has the dreaded "weak" chin. He also has a nice wife and two sweet kids.

 

I presume that, instead of looking for excuses, he approached his wife and had a conversation, then asked to see her again. Shockingly, despite the horrifying "weak" chin, she agreed to go on a date. And another one.

 

My cousin is about 6'4" and weighs about 140 pounds soaking wet. He has bad hair, wears the infamous coke bottle glasses, dresses in baggy khakis and baggy dress shirts and was extremely single until he was in his mid 30s. He strongly resembles the character "Lurch" from the Addams Family. His wife, whom he met online, recently gave birth to their third child.

 

So I call bollocks on the "weak chin" excuse.

 

However...you can use it as an excuse to give up on women.

 

But then why post over and over about wanting to meet women to date? And why ask for advice?

[Ms Darcy]

I haven't read the whole thread but perhaps Dougie has body dysmorphia disorder? Not saying that he might be super attractive or even that he's not attractive at all. That's more about mindset.

 

I was watching some videos and reading about Michael Jackson and it seems that he seemed to have it. He had so many surgeries on himself, especially his nose, that his nose was almost falling off at one point. (His doctors - who did the plastic surgery - should have been sued.) Anyway, it's about this inherent belief that you are ugly no matter what someone else tells you. It's a serious condition.

[Dougie_D]

Dear Dougie,

 

Physically, you are a dead wringer for the lovely, amazing husband of one of my close friends. His wife is funny, kind, smart, and sexy, and they have a great marriage and two terrific kids. Your lack of success with women has ZERO to do with your looks.

 

I have only been on ENA a short time, and I haven't read the years' worth of advice you have been given, so I may be repeating what others have said, but this is what I see:

 

There is only one truth here, and EVERYTHING ELSE is an excuse.

 

 

You don't want a wife and kids. You are too afraid. Period.

 

I definitly don't want kids and a wife. I want to have sex with someone multiple times. If it means being in a "relationship" then fine. If it means we only use each other for sex, I'm fine with that too.

 

I see myself wanting a wife and kids after YEARS of being with that person.

[HeartGoesOn]

This thread has run its course.