Gaynor Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 I met a really nice guy about 2 months ago, we really hit it off and had loads in common. He's got a busy job and works away a lot but we've met about 4 times and the rest of the time he's messaged me each day and we've had conversations for hours. I really thought he liked me. Then about 2 weeks ago, he stopped texting as much. I felt it was different. He said he'd been offered a job down the country and had lots to think about. I suggested meeting, but he was working away again. After a week or so I messaged him asking how he was, he told me what he'd been up to etc but then said he was meeting his ex wife as they had stuff to sort. I didn't reply it didn't really require a response. Mutual friends say him and his ex have a lot of finances they're on sorting but doubt he'd get back with her, she cheated and hurt him bad. Now another week has passed and I've heard nothing. I'm upset as I really thought we had something. Was I just kidding myself? Has he just lost interest randomly? Is there anything I should do or say? Thanks for any advice. Link to comment
DoF Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Stay away, unresolved Ex drama = HUGE RED FLAG Keep dating, find a man that is OVER their ex and settled his past. Relationship with ex (unless there is a child in the picture and relationship is CHILD ONLY) is a big red flag....and a deal breaker to most. Link to comment
dias Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 You barely know this man. Actually you don't know him at all. You just met 4 times , there is nothing to say or do . Just wait if you want.... Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Too much drama and unfinished business so you need to let it go and move on. You dont really know him anyway. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 What can you possibly have with a total stranger you've only met 4 times in your life???? I mean this as a serious question to ask yourself and really think about. All you had was an illusion of possibly having things in common. You know that people can talk, put up a facade. The practical reality is that you are still absolute strangers and whatever is going on with his ex, it will be a long time before he is emotionally whole and truly ready for what you want - a genuine connection and a healthy relationship. Let this one go as a lesson learned and going forward focus on people who are over their past and are ready and able to start fresh. Any whiff of ex's and baggage and you run and don't waste time or thoughts on them. They are not bad people, but they have a lot of healing and sorting of themselves to do and you don't want to be used as their bandage and crutch. You know what happens to the crutch when you no longer need it? You discard it. Link to comment
Dottieflanogon Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 He's not that interested. In addition to that ,there are HUGE red flags that I would avoid this guy and his baggage like a sale the day after Xmas.Move on Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Yep, he's moved on. It didn't pan out or he got back with the ex. If cheating is all it took for people to never go back to their exes we'd have a far more peaceful planet, but instead we get all sorts of screwed up scenarios. If he loves her and isn't over her, and she talks him into giving her another chance, it's all new enough he'd probably jump at it. Next! What you do is block him from contact and move on. He might contact you if he's feeling lonely or the ex shoots him down on getting back together, neither of which make him a good prospect for a relationship. I worked a massively demanding job for years, if I was truly interested I found the time to see the object of my affection regardless. I did use the whole "Work is crazy/I'm busy" thing when I was trying to distance myself and/or leave them altogether with no drama. Sorry, just telling you like it as someone who used to be a workaholic. It is simply one of the best excuses instead of "I'm just not that into you anymore" or "I met someone else I'm more into than you" and all without the crying and drama that goes with it. At two months this was just you barely dating the guy. And long talks via technology are just time fill, not a substitute for really getting to know someone. That comes only from being in person together moving your lives together. Time to move on. Nothing you say or do is going to do anything but say you have so little self-respect you'll settle for scraps. Not good. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Honey, he's not interested anymore. He was interested at one point and lost interest. You only met four times. I think you are a little over invested. Link to comment
Gaynor Posted November 21, 2015 Author Share Posted November 21, 2015 I know. I don't know him well enough at all, guess I just felt like I'd known him longer by our chats etc. He does seem a genuinely nice person, it just kind of hurts that he lost interest suddenly, or that's how it seems to me. Do you think I've done something wrong somehow or is it to do with his ex? I wont be contacting him. At least I have my dignity I guess. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 the rest of the time he's messaged me each day and we've had conversations for hours. Messaging for hours is enough to make anyone lose interest. Whenever someone is too busy to see me, I get that, but then I'm too busy to message. Link to comment
Gaynor Posted November 21, 2015 Author Share Posted November 21, 2015 Messaging for hours is enough to make anyone lose interest. Whenever someone is too busy to see me, I get that, but then I'm too busy to message. I just mean online chats, he usually initiated them and seemed interested to continue them. I don't think I've acted annoying, hope I haven't?I kind of just returned his interest really. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 I just mean online chats, he usually initiated them and seemed interested to continue them. I don't think I've acted annoying, hope I haven't?I kind of just returned his interest really. If you haven't noticed, online chats grow boring very quickly. He may have kept a bunch of those going with a number of girls to keep you on deck until he found one interesting enough to pursue more actual time with. Going forward, I wouldn't play that. Either someone has enough time and interest to see you, or not. The messaging is messy kid stuff. Link to comment
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