rosephase Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 OP Can I ask some clarifying questions? Do you speak with his son or do you message with him? When you met in person last month did you meet his kids? Did you go to his home? Link to comment
smilesaresexy Posted November 17, 2015 Author Share Posted November 17, 2015 OP Can I ask some clarifying questions? Do you speak with his son or do you message with him? When you met in person last month did you meet his kids? Did you go to his home? Yes, ask all the questions you wish. I speak with his children, and message them. No, last month when we met, we decided to meet halfway between us and didn't bring any of our children. I didn't go to his home. At the end of our time together, he said he wanted to come down for a visit, so we decided Thanksgiving. Then he wanted me to come up, so I was going to fly up the week before Christmas. Then after the whole phone/space issue started, he messaged me and told me he had been thinking with all the space, he'd really like to come down for a few weeks and see how we co-habitat during normal day to day life, where I go to work and my son is here etc. and he can job hunt or see how likely it is he can relocate his business. So, then he said not to buy a round trip ticket to see him in December, just a one way, and we'd drive back together. Link to comment
Birdie Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 This whole situation is odd. And I wouldn't be surprised if the "son" you're talking to is him, some messed-up cat fishing going on. Having any relationship with his children at this point is a huge red flag....If this is real, it's amazing you're not seeing any concerns with this OP. Link to comment
smilesaresexy Posted November 18, 2015 Author Share Posted November 18, 2015 This whole situation is odd. And I wouldn't be surprised if the "son" you're talking to is him, some messed-up cat fishing going on. Having any relationship with his children at this point is a huge red flag....If this is real, it's amazing you're not seeing any concerns with this OP. That makes no sense. What purpose would he have to converse with me as his son? Link to comment
Birdie Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 None of this makes sense! Why would his 22 year old son call his fathers most recent love interest, who he's never met and who is closer in age to him than his father?! How did you even get his number? Even having them on Facebook is weird.... You say the son is talking about how happy his dad is etc, he could be keeping you hooked while the actual guy got caught by his wife, had to get rid of his cell phone and this is his way of keeping up communication. Sounds insane? Yes it is....but given that's what's coming to my mind reading this tells you this whole situation is off! Regardless, let's say he's been telling the truth and everything is honky dory, are you truly happy? You posted this thread because something felt off, whether it's he's not meeting your needs in regards to communication or the whole story. Are you really happy pursuing this? If so go ahead and see if he comes this weekend, if not end it now. Link to comment
smilesaresexy Posted November 18, 2015 Author Share Posted November 18, 2015 None of this makes sense! Why would his 22 year old son call his fathers most recent love interest, who he's never met and who is closer in age to him than his father?! How did you even get his number? Even having them on Facebook is weird.... You say the son is talking about how happy his dad is etc, he could be keeping you hooked while the actual guy got caught by his wife, had to get rid of his cell phone and this is his way of keeping up communication. Sounds insane? Yes it is....but given that's what's coming to my mind reading this tells you this whole situation is off! Regardless, let's say he's been telling the truth and everything is honky dory, are you truly happy? You posted this thread because something felt off, whether it's he's not meeting your needs in regards to communication or the whole story. Are you really happy pursuing this? If so go ahead and see if he comes this weekend, if not end it now. The phone thing feels off. It just feels not...right. I am use to more communication than FB. I know 100% he doesn't have a wife, I've researched it. I have his home address. Checked his living situation etc. I think that the relationship would be far better once we can see each other again. I feel like 7 weeks w/o seeing each other was too much. It's too stressful for both of us. He doesn't like electronic communication and I dislike gaps in communication, so we're both frustrated. I keep telling myself only a few more days and we'll see, but I'm going insane waiting. I've not tried to contact him today. I expect contact from him tomorrow sometime. He did tell him that until he left to come here, he'd be doing extra work because from Thanksgiving until New Years he had lots of things planned. 4 weeks with me, and 2 weeks with his children. I am in hopes that is the reason for the lack of contact, working to get ahead where he's not worried about work stuff when he gets here... Link to comment
smilesaresexy Posted November 19, 2015 Author Share Posted November 19, 2015 Spoke with him last night and today. He says he's coming still, just been working a lot to prepare to come. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Which means he cannot communicate with you? Link to comment
smilesaresexy Posted November 19, 2015 Author Share Posted November 19, 2015 He doesn't see the need for daily communication. It is definitely something that will be discussed when he arrives here. The frequency of communication isn't ideal for me and some negotiating has to occur. Link to comment
Theniceone Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Spoke with him last night and today. He says he's coming still, just been working a lot to prepare to come. So now you know when he is set to arrive you have discused plans etc.? Link to comment
smilesaresexy Posted November 19, 2015 Author Share Posted November 19, 2015 So now you know when he is set to arrive you have discussed plans etc.? Yes, and yes. We have plans set for two days, family dinners and such, and "no plans." After the meeting of family, the following days I've left completely plan-free where there isn't any pressure and just us enjoying one another's company. Link to comment
youareworthy Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 To me, one of the biggest red flags here is the pace. The whole thing is much, much, much too serious too fast. You need to take a lot more time getting to know one another. By the way, does he have Asperger's Syndrome, or something else on the Autism Spectrum? Social awkwardness, very unused to communicating, getting to know people through electronic means, and not much time in person...I am just wondering. Background checks do not tell you everything. A pedophile I know, with a couple hundred victims, checks out with a squeaky clean record. People slip through the cracks all the time, which is rather scary. I STRONGLY encourage you two to take this back several notches. Cohabitation at this early a stage sounds like a very bad idea to me. Take care of yourself. Please don't implicitly trust everything; watch for odd things. Our collective hackles are raised. Link to comment
smilesaresexy Posted November 22, 2015 Author Share Posted November 22, 2015 To me, one of the biggest red flags here is the pace. The whole thing is much, much, much too serious too fast. You need to take a lot more time getting to know one another. By the way, does he have Asperger's Syndrome, or something else on the Autism Spectrum? Social awkwardness, very unused to communicating, getting to know people through electronic means, and not much time in person...I am just wondering. Background checks do not tell you everything. A pedophile I know, with a couple hundred victims, checks out with a squeaky clean record. People slip through the cracks all the time, which is rather scary. I STRONGLY encourage you two to take this back several notches. Cohabitation at this early a stage sounds like a very bad idea to me. Take care of yourself. Please don't implicitly trust everything; watch for odd things. Our collective hackles are raised. I don't think he has any type of autism. He's just kind of awkward. I don't get that vibe from him. We'll see what happens. I will let you know. I really do love him. He seems everything I want in a partner. Link to comment
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