Blue_Skirt Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 I read your other post, now I understand what mhowe was saying. What are you doing?? I am speechless!! Link to comment
Theniceone Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 He has 22, 19, and 16 y/o children. I know my age. I talk to the 22 y/o almost daily. What are you discussing on a daily basis out of curiosity? Link to comment
smilesaresexy Posted November 17, 2015 Author Share Posted November 17, 2015 It is a suggestion, you can decide if you want to strat no contact right away or not...make it short and sweet. No blaming no nothing. Just hey you are coming in so many days..since it is difficult to reach you, please call me so we can discuss logistics. I was thinking if I hadn't heard from him by Friday, I'd email and FB him to find out. Normally if he doesn't hear from me, he'll message me. I figure if I didn't hear from him Friday I would send an email saying, "Hey, we need to figure out all the details of your trip, because you are supposed to be here in a few days." Link to comment
smilesaresexy Posted November 17, 2015 Author Share Posted November 17, 2015 What are you discussing on a daily basis out of curiosity? Mostly we discuss what is going on with them and their SO. Sometimes we discuss my BF and how excited they are for me to come up in December and meet BC I make "dad so happy." And they say things like, "dad never socializes much, I can't believe he's told you so much about our life" Link to comment
Heather Dawn Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 To you, it's not a real relationship. This man really opened my heart up and knows more about me than anyone ever. I've never met anyone online, or been in an LDR, but this was the most real relationship I'd ever been in. No, no it's not. People open their hearts to others all the time - that's not what makes a relationship real. You met this man once, a mere month ago. That's not a relationship. You can't retroactively mould it into one just because you want it to have been so. Link to comment
smilesaresexy Posted November 17, 2015 Author Share Posted November 17, 2015 OP you are in so much denial, it's awful. You dont know this guy! You met him once and now he's gonna move to your house and not be around for his own business? Do you not see how screwed up this is? I think he's conning you and I bet he's got either a wife or girlfriend you dont know about. What a dangerous situation you are setting yourself up for. I hope you come to your senses and stop talking to him, and block him every which way you can. I also really hope he does not show up at your door. The whole lack of cell phone is just BS. I am almost positive he doesn't have a wife or GF since we literally spent 24 hours a day on the phone for the first 6-7 weeks we were talking... Link to comment
Heather Dawn Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 I am almost positive he doesn't have a wife or GF since we literally spent 24 hours a day on the phone for the first 6-7 weeks we were talking... I don't think you LITERALLY spent 24 hours a day on the phone for 6-7 weeks, unless you're both shut-ins with nothing else going on in your life. The bottom line is something you don't want to hear - but I repeat: This was never real. Link to comment
Theniceone Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 I am almost positive he doesn't have a wife or GF since we literally spent 24 hours a day on the phone for the first 6-7 weeks we were talking... My theory is more that he lost interest....declining communication points to that, especially just right before a visit. Link to comment
Theniceone Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 Mostly we discuss what is going on with them and their SO. Sometimes we discuss my BF and how excited they are for me to come up in December and meet BC I make "dad so happy." And they say things like, "dad never socializes much, I can't believe he's told you so much about our life" Is the 22 yo his daughter? Is she the one calling you or you do most of the initiating? Link to comment
smilesaresexy Posted November 17, 2015 Author Share Posted November 17, 2015 I don't think you LITERALLY spent 24 hours a day on the phone for 6-7 weeks, unless you're both shut-ins with nothing else going on in your life. The bottom line is something you don't want to hear - but I repeat: This was never real. Bluetooth, yes, literally 24/7, to include sleeping, just working while he was on the other end and vice versa.... Link to comment
smilesaresexy Posted November 17, 2015 Author Share Posted November 17, 2015 Is the 22 yo his daughter? Is she the one calling you or you do most of the initiating? He has all boys. They call me/FB me. The 22 y/o is having issues w/ his GF. He's not close to his mom, so he calls me/FB me to ask what he should do etc. I thought he may be losing interest too. I flat out ask, he said no. He's not use to so much communication that we had the first few weeks and that the communication becoming less was "normalization" and I should be happy and content in the knowledge of "us." Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 Wow. "Normalization" in 6-7 weeks of knowing each other, and having met once. OP --- NOTHING about this is NORMAL. It is the definition of abnormal, inconsistent and nonsensical. Link to comment
Theniceone Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 He has all boys. They call me/FB me. The 22 y/o is having issues w/ his GF. He's not close to his mom, so he calls me/FB me to ask what he should do etc. I thought he may be losing interest too. I flat out ask, he said no. He's not use to so much communication that we had the first few weeks and that the communication becoming less was "normalization" and I should be happy and content in the knowledge of "us." Men are rarely asnwering with '''yes I am losing interest'' as a response. Most of the time is because they want to be sure and don't like to be confronted like that. At best he is tired of spending 24/7 on the phone and his phone being disconnected is no coincidence. Link to comment
smilesaresexy Posted November 17, 2015 Author Share Posted November 17, 2015 When I tell him I miss talking to him on the phone, he says he hates all the electronic communication and can't wait until he's here and can talk to me face to face and hold my hand and watch me laugh. I just DK.... I told him I wanted to know when he was thinking about me, because since the phone thing I wonder all the time. He said, "Because you doubt me and the love I have for you." I don't want to doubt him. I want to believe in him, but part of me is really skittish about believing he'll really be here next week. I'm terrified. Absolutely terrified. I don't want to be optimistic everything is going to go as planned and suddenly he not come and I'm suddenly not able to cope. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 OP ---- he has stopped responding to you. There will be no "suddenly not coming". HE ISN"T COMING. You need to get your head around that right now. I suspect your 24/7 phone calls and doubts about when he was thinking about you made him realize you weren't quite as stable as he had hoped. Link to comment
smilesaresexy Posted November 17, 2015 Author Share Posted November 17, 2015 OP ---- he has stopped responding to you. There will be no "suddenly not coming". HE ISN"T COMING. You need to get your head around that right now. I suspect your 24/7 phone calls and doubts about when he was thinking about you made him realize you weren't quite as stable as he had hoped. Saturday he said he was coming. That conversation about doubting him was weeks ago. Why would he still say he was coming, knowing I'm taking time off work if he wasn't coming? I appreciate your responses, and I understand completely why you are saying what you are saying. I just am trying to understand why he would continue saying he was coming if he wasn't. He's really not that type of person. Furthermore, I'm pretty stable, but the LDR thing is completely throwing me off. It took 2 people to stay on the phone.... Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 With all due respect, you have no idea what kind of person he is. He says whatever he feels like saying. Like "I need space so I am not paying my phone bill". Link to comment
Heather Dawn Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 Bluetooth, yes, literally 24/7, to include sleeping, just working while he was on the other end and vice versa.... That's sick, I'm sorry. Did you take bathroom breaks? Seriously, that's not even CLOSE to normal - and the fact that you seem to think it is means that you've very likely dealing with some mental health issues. That, itself, explains why you're in this situation. Link to comment
Heather Dawn Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 He has all boys. They call me/FB me. The 22 y/o is having issues w/ his GF. He's not close to his mom, so he calls me/FB me to ask what he should do etc. I thought he may be losing interest too. I flat out ask, he said no. He's not use to so much communication that we had the first few weeks and that the communication becoming less was "normalization" and I should be happy and content in the knowledge of "us." This man's sons are trying to be parented by a woman their father has met once. So sad. Link to comment
smilesaresexy Posted November 17, 2015 Author Share Posted November 17, 2015 That's sick, I'm sorry. Did you take bathroom breaks? Seriously, that's not even CLOSE to normal - and the fact that you seem to think it is means that you've very likely dealing with some mental health issues. That, itself, explains why you're in this situation. I never said I thought it was normal. I thought it was crazy, but neither of us wished to hang up. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 I never said I thought it was normal. I thought it was crazy, but neither of us wished to hang up. And yet you invited him to move in with you. I am thinking we are being played..... Link to comment
Heather Dawn Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 And yet you invited him to move in with you. I am thinking we are being played..... We need to stop feeding these trolls. Link to comment
smilesaresexy Posted November 17, 2015 Author Share Posted November 17, 2015 And yet you invited him to move in with you. I am thinking we are being played..... The relationship wasn't crazy, being so involved with someone I had never met was crazy, but I still stayed on the phone. Link to comment
Heather Dawn Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 The relationship wasn't crazy, being so involved with someone I had never met was crazy, but I still stayed on the phone. You're making my head hurt. Link to comment
Theniceone Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 If I had a partner that would insist on me staying on the phone for hours even when I am sleeping I would block their number ...heck maybe that is what he did. Also if my partner requested that i contact just to let the other know that i am thinking of the other, I would slow things down quite a bit. If anything of this is real, and the guy is honest, it looks like a case of codependency combine with too much too soon. Link to comment
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