How to go a second round?

[Jvc21]

My SO and I have been active for sometime. After the first pop, sometimes she'll ask if we can go again. Many times I'm not able to do it again or even go after 25-30min. In my head, I totally want to, but the body isn't up to the challenge.

 

How do you guys go a second round , or can you?

[mhowe]

How old are you?

How fit are?

Do you drink, smoke weed or do drugs?

[Jvc21]

Late 20s.

Normal weight. Exercise everyday running, lifting, squatting.

Occasional beer, no drugs

[TMifune]

It really might just be who you are:

[mhowe]

It really might just be who you are

 

Yeah....some guys are just one shot wonders! Could be genetic. Can you ask your dad?

[Jvc21]

Dad passed away recently, but from what my mom said, he wasn't a very good lover.

 

Don't think I want to ask her more than that.

[thejigsup]

When me and my lovers were both in our 20s, we could go all night, multiple times. Have you talked to a doctor about this? Maybe this is just normal for you, but I was never with a guy in his 20s or 30s who couldn't go at least twice in about an hour or so. Maybe your testosterone levels are low or something?

[Jvc21]

Haven't really seen a doctor about that. I've been pretty active (run about 2-3 miles a day), not sure if that relates to a testosterone level or not.

 

I could just be overreacting and just accepting that I take much longer to recover.

[itsallgrand]

Staying in touch with your doctor is a good idea.

 

But I think you may be normal. I'm a woman; and from the opposite end, it has varied. I never thought less of a man based on recovery times, and there are other things you can do if she is still raring to go. If you show that kind of consideration as a lover, then you are a gem and she will be happy. It's really less about whether you can go again in x amount of time, and how much you care and want to please her that matters.

 

and the worst thing for a body that isn't responding how you would maybe like it to is to put pressure on yourself. You can talk to your lady. She's in her late twenties, she loves you, and if she is a good one, she isn't going to judge.

[Hazyillusions]

My bf can go again immediately. It's pretty amazing actually.

[notalady]

I would say do it well the first time, lots of foreplay and make sure she's thoroughly satisfied. In which case, I don't think she would mind if you don't feel up for round 2. Speak to a doctor if you like but it might just be the way you are and nothing is wrong with that.

[TMifune]

My bf can go again immediately. It's pretty amazing actually.

 

Do you want me to hold OP down so you can kick him in the balls a few times?

[TMifune]

I would say do it well the first time, lots of foreplay and make sure she's thoroughly satisfied. In which case, I don't think she would mind if you don't feel up for round 2. Speak to a doctor if you like but it might just be the way you are and nothing is wrong with that.

 

This. Get the job done right and it won't matter. If you're getting it done and she's upset that you can't go again right away, I'd say kick her out the door. At that point she's treating you like a vibrator and not a human being. There's no respect in that.

[Fudgie]

I wouldn't see a doctor. You'll just end up paying a copay for him to tell you what we're telling you here: it's probably just you and your make-up. There is nothing wrong with that. Many guys are one-shot wonders. I think our hypersexualized culture has people thinking that you need to be able to spout off 2-3 times in a marathon session and that's just not realistic. Yes, some guys can do a second round in an hour or so, some guys can do it but need a LOT more time, and some guys really can only manage once a day. As long as you're able to become aroused, perform, and ejaculate, that's normal. Anything beyond that is you and your sexual make-up, nothing you can really control.

 

It is not a bad thing. It's just who you are. Enjoy yourselves for the first time. My boyfriend is the same way. He makes me happy. I enjoy myself but to be honest, I like being able to do that and then have us do an activity we like, or make something to eat, or go to sleep, cause we both work 12+ hour days.

[Foxylady]

Some of the comments seem to suggest that there is something wrong with this guy. Firstly, what he is describing is perfectly NORMAL (as in most men would experiencing what he is experiencing during a sexual encounter).

 

What you need to do is slow down your initial experience in the first place and make it last. Even during sex, don't rush too much to cum. Take your time and I am sure the girl would appreciate it as well. Even after you cum, use oral sex, fingering, kissing, sex toy etc....it will probably make you hard again and ready to go again.

 

My advice: Slow Down and become more aware of the sensations, breathing etc. in your body - also your girl's body. When you feel like cumming, pull out and go down on the girl, kiss or something else. Then when the arousal level goes down, put it in the vag again.

[gaseousclay]

Agree with foxylady. There's nothing wrong with the OP and what he's talking about is perfectly normal. We're all different and some of us have higher libidos than others. Your partner will also influence whether or not youre ready for round two or three.

 

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[itsallgrand]

This. Get the job done right and it won't matter. If you're getting it done and she's upset that you can't go again right away, I'd say kick her out the door. At that point she's treating you like a vibrator and not a human being. There's no respect in that.

 

I disagree with this.

 

People's libidos are different. I would not advise judging whether or not you did it 'right' by whether or not your lady wants to not go again. Women can have multiple orgasms, you know?

And some women have higher appetites than others.

 

Slowing down and prolonging the entire experience was good advice IMO. YOu can't go wrong with that.

[Aldel]

I totally agree with most of the posts here: you are perfectly normal and a sound to be a caring lover.

But I would not blame here for being her either ( I.e. having high libido) either. It is important that you both accept each other as you are and then you can think about a way to keep both if you happy.

In addition to all advices above, I would also suggest sex-toys ( including vibrator that has already been mentioned somewhere above) for the second round, but only if you both like them/ comfortable with them. It can be a good fun really.

[TMifune]

I disagree with this.

 

People's libidos are different. I would not advise judging whether or not you did it 'right' by whether or not your lady wants to not go again. Women can have multiple orgasms, you know?

And some women have higher appetites than others.

 

Slowing down and prolonging the entire experience was good advice IMO. YOu can't go wrong with that.

 

Slowing down and taking your time is part of what I meant by get the job done right. Multiple female orgasms can be achieved per single male orgasm. If he takes his time and gets her there 2-4 times before he "pops" then I think he's doing pretty well, and it's fine for her to say "wanna go again" but it's not fine for her to use the fact that he can't to try to make him feel bad about himself.

 

It really depends. I think if a woman didn't get to orgasm, or it only happened once, another "session" could easily just be about sexual gratification. I think a woman who's already had multiple orgasms in the first "session" demanding another one is more likely to be about validation than sexual pleasure. She somewhere down inside believes the BS that all men think about all the time is sex, and that him being able to go again right away isn't just a fact of his biology, but a sign that she's soooo hot. It's the exact other side of the coin to a woman assuming that a man's ED is about her and not about stress, health, age, hypertension or any of 100 other factors.

[WithLove]

Why can't OP make love once before bed, cuddle and sleep with his lady, then make love again in the morning?

[itsallgrand]

I see what you are saying. I just didn't see in the original post any suggestion that his lady was demanding anything. I read it more as that she asked if they could, and he was feeling badly and trying to figure out a way to do it, and wasn't sure how to handle the situation when she asks but she can't.

 

I just find suggesting someone isn't doing something 'right' , when we are talking about sex, to be counter to everything I think about sex. There is no 'right' way to do it and no 'wrong' way to do it. It's just figuring out what satisfies and what works for a couple, for both people.

 

I guess I just feel strongly that judgment should stay out of the bedroom. Even implied judgment.

[hawkmoon]

I think is totally normal and the girl should understand that most people needs some time.

 

I am 34 and fit and I always needed some hours to be ready for more... and even then sometimes I was a bit stressed the second time because it was so easy to lose the stiffness.

 

This is like the people that can sleep 5 hours a day and be ok... sure some people and we will envy forever, but you shouldnt assume everybody can

[Jvc21]

Thank you all for the points of view. we are both pretty satisfied with what's going on between the sheets. But sometimes there's an opportunity to go again, and I haven't been able to rise up to the call. It's not a deal breaker by any means, but it would be nice to get a second round in when the opportunity presents itself.