duncan123 Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Hi everyone!! this is my first post... sorry if I sound desperate, because I really don't know what to do next.... I’ve been separated with my GF for almost 3 months. And about our relationship, maybe I’m a bit of perfection, I know nothing’s perfect but deep in my heart I always wants her to be perfect at all times, maybe one of the reason why she left me because of that, I’m asking too much of her. We did sleep together, multiple times and she don’t hate it, what she hate is doing it too often and whenever she rejects me I always feel down and acts like a child like not talking to her and pretending to be angry (maybe I only want to get her attention). I know she’s a good girl, I know I don’t deserve more than her. We did have fun. We did a lot of things together. But what hurt me the most is whenever I feel down because of a lot of reasons (including her mistake) she don’t even care, she doesn’t come at me and holds me in her arm like how she used to do. I always asking her to put me as her number 1 priority in her life, because I did so. But she never could, in a lot of times she often choose her friend instead of me. I’m always trying to make her happy, I buy stuff for her, I’m taking her for a breather, whenever she needs me I always there for her, I totally never use my hands to hurt her, I never use rough words or words from the zoo, and of course I never fooling around with other girls, in fact I don’t know much girl because we just moved. She’s always my top priority, more than myself. She’s not the one she used to be, she used to be almost perfect. But the last time we fought, it’s because I feel down and she don’t care about me and doing her own things by using a lot of stuff that I bought for her as a present, of course it really hurts me and I lost my temper for the first time by getting mad and telling her something like “why are you being so insensitive, why are you doing this to me” and something similar, still without using a rough words and shouting. In the night she tells me she want to broke up with me. I rushed back to her and we’re arguing I said I don’t want to broke up and so on and so on. She asked me to leave she even did it by force like hitting me, pushing me, and shout a lot of rough words at me which she NEVER did before to me. Of course I only received all of it and not doing the same because I cannot do something like hurt her body. For so many days, I did a lot of things to beg for her forgiveness, I keep trying to communicate with her by using a lot of ways (but sadly, she blocked me on calls, facetime, chats and etc) the only thing I can use to communicate with her is by email, but she simply ignored everything. I bought a lot of stuff for her and put it in her room (yeah I still have access to her room whenever she’s not there, I got the keys and she still hold on mine too) like snacks because I know she loved it. Two days ago I came to her room and wait for her, and when we met I give her a bucket of flowers and a ring to showed her I really determined to fix things up. But she refused to accept all of it and asked me to leave and she said she doesn’t want a relationship with me anymore. I keep begging for her forgiveness but she’s still hang on it, I say I’ll give the space that she needs and I asked her at least someday please give me a chance (she says no), at least talked to me someday (I asked this multiple times and while getting angry she said “yes” maybe she thought if she said that I’ll leave immediately), that’s all she slammed the door and locked it. But I saw that she still have a lot of stuff that I gave her, like dolls but she put it inside of cardboard maybe so she doesn’t need to remember me. 2 weeks ago is our one year anniversary, I’ve made a video about me apologizing, my regrets of hurting her, how I missed her, showed her a lot of our photos, and telling her I’ll wait for her. But I still don’t know whether should I showed her this video or not. I write about all of my feelings, her mistake, and my mistake too on a book and I did put it in her room for a while, but looks like she just ditched it around and I don’t know whether she read it or not, I’m taking the book back and I write some more but don’t know whether to put it back to her room or what. I have access to her YouTube account, and when I saw her watching history there's a lot of love songs, most of it is a bit old and I don't think she ever listened to something like this before... I stopped coming to her, I simply trying NC for about 2 weeks. I tried to improve myself and isolating myself from her, I start working out, going out with friend, etc. Today I sent her an email (well, since she blocked me on various stuff) asking about how she’s doing. She replied, “I am doing good as long as you didn’t bother me!”. Now I’m out of clue, all I did is replied “Cool, If I’m bothering you I’m sorry. Have a nice day I tried to make myself sounds positive. We did bump into each other 1-2 times by coincidence, but she don't want to look at me and ignoring me like I don't even exist. Can you guys gimme an advice what to do in this situation? Thanks... Link to comment
Clinton Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Just leave her alone, permanently. Its done. Your continued harassment is just making her dislike you more. So give up and move on. There's nothing to salvage here. Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 You don't want a girlfriend....you want a mommy doll to smother and reassure you. You got quite a bit of maturing to do before having a girlfriend is a viable possibility. Link to comment
duncan123 Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 Just leave her alone, permanently. Its done. Your continued harassment is just making her dislike you more. So give up and move on. There's nothing to salvage here. I just not mentally prepared to do that yet. It's been 2 months, I tried to not overthink about it, tried to focus on myself. But every time I'm not doing anything (like when I'm about to sleep) it's just hurt so much and I'm always crying almost everyday. I know I'm a man and I'm not supposed to behave like this, but this relationship is really means a lot for me that's why it really hurts me mentally.... and I know it means a lot for her too. I just don't know what to do next to save 'us'.... continuing NC maybe??? Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 There is no "us". There is you, her and the possibility of the campus police being involved. Link to comment
duncan123 Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 You don't want a girlfriend....you want a mommy doll to smother and reassure you. You got quite a bit of maturing to do before having a girlfriend is a viable possibility. wow, it kind of hurts..... But you're right, like totally right...... I only realized it as soon as we broke up. That's why I've been trying to focused on myself..... Can you give me more advice about maturing myself? Link to comment
duncan123 Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 There is no "us". There is you, her and the possibility of the campus police being involved. Lol, you got a good sense of humor. But I'm make sure to stopped doing like what I did before. So, about the campus police it won't happened xD Link to comment
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