She doesnt shower everyday!

[Capricorn3]

Something like personal hygiene is a big deal breaker if they don't do it regularly, at least for a lot of people I know of. For me personally, I shower once daily, and would consider it gross if I dated someone that didn't..

Same here. For me, personal hygiene is an absolute MUST have. I can't get my head around not showering daily. OP, if it's a deal breaker for you then you find someone more compatible.

[mfan]

I've learned two new things from this thread: (1) showering every day has dermatological risks; (2) showering every day puts you at risk of becoming inflexible and unable to deal with not showering. That 2nd one really scares me. I think it's best to keep ourselves flexible so that in case (god forbid) the plumbing is turned off or there's no usable shower around we don't go insane. And so that we don't "freak out" at the mention of the possibility of someone else not showering every day. That really does not sound healthy. I'm realizing it's best to "shake up" one's personal routine to ensure it doesn't become an obsession.

[Fudgie]

mfan,

 

This is why I wouldn't discuss my hygiene habits so early on. I'm prone to dry skin, live in a colder climate, and don't show everyday, more like every other day. I'm clean and that's what matters. If I dated someone and they liked me and felt I was clean, and then found out I don't shower everyday, freaked out, and dumped me, hey, their loss.

 

As long as you are clean, who cares. It's really no one's business.

[Batya33]

I've learned two new things from this thread: (1) showering every day has dermatological risks; (2) showering every day puts you at risk of becoming inflexible and unable to deal with not showering. That 2nd one really scares me. I think it's best to keep ourselves flexible so that in case (god forbid) the plumbing is turned off or there's no usable shower around we don't go insane. And so that we don't "freak out" at the mention of the possibility of someone else not showering every day. That really does not sound healthy. I'm realizing it's best to "shake up" one's personal routine to ensure it doesn't become an obsession.

 

I don't get number 2 at all. If someone told me he didn't shower every day because of dermatological reasons and he was clean, who cares (I do shower every day). I know of people who find it unusual not to wash one's hair every day (I do not) but aren't going to get overly opinionated about it.

[Man with Dog]

This is a dating forum! If you need career help go to another forum. Do not come in and bash people. Many of us are here because we have our lives in order, except for this area. We come here for support, not to have someone try and shame us into their point of view. Go away if you have nothing to add.

 

Actually, there's a lot of other forums on here as well as dating. My criticism was not aimed at you. You asked a question and I gave my reply. I don't "bash" people but I do give my honest opinion and it is not always in agreement with many people I respect.

 

I've been around on this earth for a long time. I'm probably one of the oldest on here. Yet, people still amaze me, sometimes in positive ways but more often in negative ways.

 

I know that, for many people, personal hygiene or lack of it is a dealbreaker. I don't agree with it but I get it. Nobody is forcing us to date people who don't meet our criteria.

 

I merely expressed surprise that this thread provoked more response (much more response) than one that, in my opinion, was a much greater problem. That was not meant as a personal criticism of you but an observation about the human race.

[Cheetarah]

I totally agree with what you are saying. This IS more than just a dating forum. If that weren't the case, all the unrelated subforums would not exist.

[mfan]

I don't get number 2 at all. If someone told me he didn't shower every day because of dermatological reasons and he was clean, who cares (I do shower every day). I know of people who find it unusual not to wash one's hair every day (I do not) but aren't going to get overly opinionated about it.

 

Based on some of the posts in this thread, I'm inferring that if one gets into a rigid habit, one runs the risk of becoming intolerant of people who don't have that same habit. Even if the habit appears beneficial/desirable, like showering every day, it would appear to take a toll in other ways that are not so obvious.

[browneyedgirl36]

I think maybe you made a bit too much of this. If she hadn't told you she doesn't shower every day, would you have known? I mean, that's not something I would tell someone in early dating stages, but...if she hadn't told you, you probably wouldn't have known (provided that she doesn't smell bad).

 

I shower every day (unless I'm sick or not going out of the house and will just be cleaning or being lazy all day) -- I actually need to, because unfortunately, I sweat a lot, and I'm self-conscious about that. Plus, I exercise a lot. I don't wash my hair everyday (my hairdresser told me not to), and NO ONE would know unless I told them.

 

If she doesn't smell bad, then maybe she doesn't need to shower every day. Showering every other day doesn't equal poor hygiene. You have to go more by what you can see and smell. If someone's teeth are rotten and their breath is bad, I'm going to guess they don't brush their teeth. If they show up for a date wearing dirty, wrinkled clothing, I'm going to assume they don't do laundry regularly. If their hair is extremely greasy (to the point where -- sorry to be gross here, but -- to the point where I can smell it), those are all things that are going to put me off. If she looks fine, and smells fine, then her showering frequency shouldn't be a big deal.

 

I'm wondering if maybe you're just not all that into her and you're finding reasons to cut her loose. That's OK, but just consider whether you might be being TOO critical early on and whether or not you're looking for reasons to sabotage your early interactions with someone. Certainly, there are legitimate dealbreakers, but...if everything else seems OK so far (and maybe it doesn't -- I don't know) the showering thing seems a bit picky.

[localvet]

I've learned two new things from this thread: (1) showering every day has dermatological risks; (2) showering every day puts you at risk of becoming inflexible and unable to deal with not showering. That 2nd one really scares me. I think it's best to keep ourselves flexible so that in case (god forbid) the plumbing is turned off or there's no usable shower around we don't go insane. And so that we don't "freak out" at the mention of the possibility of someone else not showering every day. That really does not sound healthy. I'm realizing it's best to "shake up" one's personal routine to ensure it doesn't become an obsession.

 

That was awesome!!!

[localvet]

 

I'm wondering if maybe you're just not all that into her and you're finding reasons to cut her loose. That's OK, but just consider whether you might be being TOO critical early on and whether or not you're looking for reasons to sabotage your early interactions with someone. Certainly, there are legitimate dealbreakers, but...if everything else seems OK so far (and maybe it doesn't -- I don't know) the showering thing seems a bit picky.

 

That is why this thread is important. You are right. I may be looking to sabotage myself. This gal could end months of first dates and frustration. Unfourtainatly we often grow to feel secure with the pain and disappointment we have and then reject happy change. I may be doing that. This thread has helped me in more ways than the shower issue. So for those wondering why this has elicited so many comments...it is about more than a shower.

 

Thank you!

[journeynow]

One can practice good hygiene without taking a full shower daily. Most body parts are easy enough to wash with a sink of hot water, soap, and a washcloth. What is needed depends on your activity, your environment, your diet, and your skin type.