localvet Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 So if you followed my threads, yes same girl. So this gal wants to go slow. We have been seeing each other regular for over a month. No sex, this is very strange for me, as normally it happens within the frst 3 dates. That is ok though. So here is the thing, When I am with her I totally dig her. When we chat or text same. So here is the strange thing. I am starting to feel MILD anxiety before I see her. I don't get it. There is no reason to be worried, no red flags. We have not had the relationship talk at all since she said she wanted to go slow in the beginning. Has anyone experienced this? Also as time goes on I am becoming more and more indifferent about this. Not frustrated, and not excited. So what the hell is this? Does any of this make sense? Link to comment
BMP2CPM Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Why are you not dating other women? If you dated other women and if you were having sex, you would not have anxiety from this one. No woman should make you feel anxious early on in the relationship. Life is too short for lot's of anxiety and no sex. Link to comment
Patrick974 Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 I was often a bit anxious before a first date. If things go well it subsides later. However being indifferent isnt good. Are you losing interest in her because you guys didnt go intimate and you are used to make your moves faster? Just a thought. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 I was often a bit anxious before a first date. If things go well it subsides later. However being indifferent isnt good. Are you losing interest in her because you guys didnt go intimate and you are used to make your moves faster? Just a thought. I am with the same train of thought ... is this set up simply .....boring Link to comment
SoulTaker Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 It might be because you're following her lead. You're not in control in how things are progressing. You want the sparks to happen quickly, and it ain't happening with this woman. Link to comment
localvet Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 It might be because you're following her lead. You're not in control in how things are progressing. You want the sparks to happen quickly, and it ain't happening with this woman. Great feed back from everyone! Question now seems, do I remain patient, I mean how long do I wait? It has been almost a month and a half and I never have had to wait this long for the relationship to be defined. Link to comment
saluk Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 "she wanted to go slow in the beginning" You have been going slow. That doesn't mean you NEVER go to the next thing. Have you floated the idea recently? Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Seeing that you aren't accustomed to navigating it at a slower pace. . maybe it creates a limbo sort of feeling for you that would create a feeling of anxiety. Maybe because it doesn't feel like it has any movement or progression. That might make sense. Try to sit through it, if it's just something that's foreign to you. Taking it slow isn't bad. .it's just not what you are used to. -or- make something happen! Link to comment
SoulTaker Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Great feed back from everyone! Question now seems, do I remain patient, I mean how long do I wait? It has been almost a month and a half and I never have had to wait this long for the relationship to be defined. It depends on what you're looking for, and why you're dating her. She's looking for a relationship. Are you looking for the same thing, or something more quicker (casual)? If you're also looking for a relationship, then the pace so far is fine. The key is whether she is slowly becoming more comfortable with you with each date, or she's the same as during the first date. In her own way, she needs to continue to let you know that she's happy being around you. As far as how long to wait? Well, it depends on what you mean by "wait". Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Is anxiety always bad? That is, sometimes anxiety is connected to nervousness and excitement. Maybe you aren't used to a little mystery. Taking things quickly so there is no uncertainty actually kills a bit of the magic of dating. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 As time goes by you are losing interest. It's normal. She just isn't for you. That's why it's a good idea to go slow. Link to comment
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