MissingKay Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 my ex and I broke up 2-3 weeks ago (he was unfaithful, I found out) it didn't end well, he became very nasty. He is now in a relationship which iover lapped ours. There was a lot of anger between us. He asked me asked him to never contact him again. I agreed but asked him to block me from calling and texting him and explained this would help me move on but he refused. I told him it's the only way to guarantee I never contact him in the future but he said "I won't block you, just don't text me". My reason for the request is: I know I can block him but I can also unblock him through weakness and contact him. If he blocked me, my calls/text would never reach him. Why won't he block me? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 He implied why heavily with his response ... because it's entirely within your control not to text him. You may not be in the mindframe to hear this yet, but the only person who has your best interest at heart during a break up is you. You should be blocking him and joining the no contact challenge to stay strong. Link to comment
sara-pezzini Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 Remove his number from your phone. There is no point in asking someone to block you, it is your responsibility not to call or text him, that is not on him. Lose his number and just don't contact him. I mean why would you even want to? He cheated and is now in a new relationship so why would you want to reach out? Maybe only to lash out at him but that will only make you look bad. Link to comment
mariposamoreno Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 i am totally new on here, but i will give out my advice about this. i am sorry you are going through this mess and heartache. i agree that you have some control over not texting him. however, i also know how it feels to be impulsive in the pain you're experiencing. it would have been nice for him to block you, but since he refuses you have to try to gain that control within yourself (sorry if this was kind of already stated by another member). i also wonder though if he is just curious to have his ego stroked and see you texting or calling. either way, i wish you the best. mary Link to comment
Hollyj Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 This is not his responsibility, its yours! Good grief! The guy cheated and was "nasty" to you, yet you are considering contact??????? Time to show yourself some respect. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 my ex and I broke up 2-3 weeks ago (he was unfaithful, I found out) it didn't end well, he became very nasty. He is now in a relationship which iover lapped ours. There was a lot of anger between us. He asked me asked him to never contact him again. I agreed but asked him to block me from calling and texting him and explained this would help me move on but he refused. I told him it's the only way to guarantee I never contact him in the future but he said "I won't block you, just don't text me". My reason for the request is: I know I can block him but I can also unblock him through weakness and contact him. If he blocked me, my calls/text would never reach him. Why won't he block me? Oh please! The question should be why don't you want to NEVER call him again? He cheated on you. If you loved yourself you would be so angry and disgusted with him that you would never want to talk to him again so you would never cave to contact him. You were not married to this guy. There is no reason (not even because you feel you love him) for you to give up your self respect and pride to someone you are not even married to but only been dating. He's shown you what he's capable of and that should be enough to give you the closure you need to be able to have the strength to blank him from your life. Love YOU enough to have the strength. See him for who he is and don't do him the favor of stroking his ego with any pathetic contact showing him that he's still able to have power over you. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 My guess is you're looking at his refusal to block you, as a sign that he's still interested. At the same time, you're choosing to ignore the fact that he cheated on you, and asked you never to contact him again, as well. It's time to face reality, and recognize your true worth by giving him the "heave ho". Link to comment
LovelyDani87 Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 Well hopefully you are not taking his refusal as a sign of "hope". You are responsible for your own actions. Do not text or call him. You have no reason to. Redirect your energy towards healing. Link to comment
shessofly Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 When you contact someone who has chosen to walk away you only set yourself up for more rejection. This relationship has been unstable from the get-go. It is well within your control not to pick up the phone and dial his number. Stay nc. Link to comment
treesandbees Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 If still too raw for you, just deactivate your account for now, seeing him in your feed will only hurt you more. Link to comment
MissingKay Posted August 24, 2015 Author Share Posted August 24, 2015 Thank you all for your comments. I think I have been misunderstood. My question is not about getting/hoping he will came back. He sailed that boat when he cheated. I also don't have any desire to contact him and have been NC for the last week since his refusal to block me. This has happened before but I was stupid to take him back when he grovelled and apologised (we had been together on/off since college). In the words of Michael Jackson THIS IS IT! No turning back. I was only wondering why someone who once loved you wouldn't help you out when you've asked for it. I'm not saying I want to or plan to ever contact him, but not knowing the future I wouldn't want a slip up or a moment of weakness to take us back to here....as has been the case in the past on both sides. This would benefit us both. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 He once loved you but he doesn't now. So he's not obligated to "help you out". If "this is it", why do you worry you might contact him? Link to comment
Helpexpressme Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 Because he doesn't have to do anything you ask. You should just block him and not contact him. Why would you want to contact him anyways. Link to comment
MissingKay Posted August 24, 2015 Author Share Posted August 24, 2015 Fair enough, I see your point. Thanks again for the feedback, advice and helping me to see clearly. It's a bit difficult when you're heartbroken and angry. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 Remove his number from your phone. There is no point in asking someone to block you, it is your responsibility not to call or text him, that is not on him. Lose his number and just don't contact him. I mean why would you even want to? He cheated and is now in a new relationship so why would you want to reach out? Maybe only to lash out at him but that will only make you look bad. Read this post again. Link to comment
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