loulou76 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Last year, I started talking to a guy, whenever saw him we'd have a chat about work and things.. He asked about me but he didn't really reveal much about himself but we had a laugh too. He'd often wave to me too,I'd always let him initiate the chatting,. I'd catch him looking over at me too.. I rather fancied him and always gave a wave and smile... I wondered if he was interested in me or if he just enjoyed the talking..However in May this year he gave me his phone number and asked me to text so I did.. he said '' I never in a million years thought that you would'' I said I have because I liked him..he said he hadn't been complimented in ages, though he is nice looking...but all he seemed interested in was telling me he thought I was sexy, how he liked being naked, what I was wearing, I flirted back a bit.. as I did fancy him.. He didn't really ask about me!! Then he suggested we meet to get to know one another better. I thought he meant meet for a chat and said that sounds great but he said I'll book a hotel room.. I said no I'm not ready for that so he suggested going for a drive.. somewhere dark.. he wanted to swap nude pics but I said no.. I said I'm not up for hooking up / casual dating so suggested we remain friends.. Later that month he stated texting again, so I said lets go for a date and he said ok we'll goto a remote place. but he bailed on me.. so I suggested we better to stay friends as I have to be in a relationship before I sleep with a guy ..not casual dating and said I think he needs a girl who is more forward.. he said he'd been hurt and didn't want to get involved.. I thanked him for his honesty.. he never wanted to take me out or anything .. I felt like he wanted to hide me.. though he seemed honest enough told me his name and said he lived with his aunt and uncle though he was 38.. Although I said we'll remain friends I haven't text him since incase he thought I was needy so he hasn't contacted me either.. My friends are all saying I should have slept with him as i knew him and fancied him but I'm a woman who likes to be going out with a guy before I do that.. Am I too prudish? Is that what everyone is like nowadays?? Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Too safe and boring? You are lucky to be alive! He sounds like serial killer material. He wanted one thing. And good for you for standing your ground. Link to comment
TMifune Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Um....is it prudish to not want to get raped? Because it kinda sounds like he would have tried to rape you. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Am I too prudish? Is that what everyone is like nowadays?? I can't speak for others, but I feel you made the right choice by refusing his offer. Obviously his only interest was a free booty call, and he had no intentions of dating you. This is not someone you'd want as a friend, and on the other hand your friends advice is way off base. I'm not sure of your age, but nothing good would come from interacting with this sleaze. Respect yourself... Link to comment
loulou76 Posted June 19, 2015 Author Share Posted June 19, 2015 Thanks for your reply, Link to comment
JustWishing Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 ....and let me throw this one in there too....he might not even live with his aunt and uncle. Fact is you don't know who those people are. I think you made the right choice too. Link to comment
loulou76 Posted June 19, 2015 Author Share Posted June 19, 2015 I'm in my 30's and still single.. I've never done one night stands and only had 5 proper relationships, the last being for 4 years, where we both grew apart, although I do get approached by guys, I only contact the ones I really like... I thought that by chatting with him and knowing him for a while, he might be decent but couldn't believe he could throw all that chasing and talking away like that Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 The chasing and talking cost him nothing. Link to comment
loulou76 Posted June 19, 2015 Author Share Posted June 19, 2015 Aww thanks for your replies, some of my friends accuse me of being boring and I should ''live a little'', just nice to talk with others about this, I'm on the quieter side and thought I was being old fashioned... Link to comment
Unreasonable Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 What the hell? Who sets up a FIRST date in a "remote dark place"? That's insane. Link to comment
TMifune Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 What the hell? Who sets up a FIRST date in a "remote dark place"? That's insane. I'm telling you, OP should be super grateful she had the good sense not to go with him. Link to comment
loulou76 Posted June 19, 2015 Author Share Posted June 19, 2015 Thanks.. I feel better now.. thought it was a bit strange.. when he suggested meeting in the dark some where remote, secluded and dark.. i thought oo-er.. don't think so.. think he thought because I'm on the shy side he could control me but I have good morals.. Been a while since I've been on the dating scene.. Last year I dated a guy we only had three dates where he took me to the cinema then a date at a restaurant then a shopping trip and on the fourth date he really tried it on when i refused he was infuriated and said I've taken you on three dates when will you sleep with me I'm getting sick of this waiting so I apologised and said would you like a refund because you won't be getting action like that until I'm ready and I finished with him that night as I didn't like the angry side of him.... Link to comment
LoveSoDeep Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 There's no such thing as too boring or too prude. You are who you are, and you just need to find people who appreciate and respect that. This guy needs to find people who are into casual sex and I'm sure he will but you're not that person and good for you for standing your ground and telling him to move along. Link to comment
Hermes Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Loulou. Since when did basic caution become prudish, or boring? You were right to go with your instinct. What kind of individual would propose such a thing anyhow? Sadly, we hear the outcome of some of these "situations" in the newspapers....... As for your "friends" maybe it's time to acquire a new set of proper friends. Link to comment
loulou76 Posted June 19, 2015 Author Share Posted June 19, 2015 Thanks for all your replies, I sure feel better!! Link to comment
sonicfan287 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Everybody has a different way of living life (contrary to what some forms of media would have you believe about some kind of 'standard' for dating and meeting people) but it sounds like, in this case, not only were you NOT too 'prude' but this guy was way too over the top. I can't even understand, from a guy's point of view, how him being hurt in the past made him feel like his passes at you were justified. He definitely wasn't shy about sharing his feelings but then he took it to a creepy level and didn't get the hint when you said you weren't willing to 'hook up' and instead of still accepting that you were interested and going on a nice date, he still insisted on his 'one night stand' ideas. It's a bit different, but I remember a night where a couple friends of mine talked me into talking to this girl at a bar and buying her a drink, so I did, and we talked and she was okay, and then she asked me to come to her car with some friends of hers while they smoked weed. I don't smoke weed and I kind of was "wishy washy" about it (made it sound like I may join) but my friends kept saying "Go with her, you may get lucky" (which makes me wonder what kind of friends I was with that night). I went out of curiosity (not to get lucky lol) and things got real awkward so I left. Basically 3 more girls and a few guys joined us and all started passing the joint around and I was just out of there, I didn't even give a reason or ask for her number, I just said I had to leave and got out of the car. After that experience my friends all said I was too 'prude' because I could've had some kind of 'car orgy' with marijuana involved... so yeah... definitely glad I got out of that one. Sorry, bit of a tangent lol Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 There is no such thing as too sensible. You are sensible or you aren't. You are sensible. This guy was asking you to put yourself in a potentially dangerous situation. You sensibly declined. I disagree strongly with the advice your friends gave. Link to comment
missmarple Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 You're not boring. You are sensible and you should be sensible in cases like this. Are you sure those friends have your best interest at heart? I find it confusing that they all said you should sleep with a guy who suggested a hotel for a first date! Link to comment
loulou76 Posted June 20, 2015 Author Share Posted June 20, 2015 Thanks for all your replies, glad other people agree on the fact that I did right, I trusted my instincts and thought if I go on a trip with him anything could have happened!! If he expects me to sleep with him without dating - just what kind of lifestyle does he have to think that it's ok to do that?? And push into sleeping with me after only a day texting.. Was a bit hurt actually at the fact that he had no respect for me... and was so pushy sex wise.. he didn't even want to get to know me!! and if I'd 'gone for a drive' he could've pushed me into doing things I'd regret as he was very pushy like 'come for a drive now'.. Thinking about things, although I've been chatting to him over a year, I didn't know him really only his name and where he worked he could have something to hide as why didn't he want to take me on a proper date or been seen with me.. Although he was 42, he was silly and almost childish in his ways.. Thought it was me behaving old fashioned and thought things were more forward as it's been a while since I've been on a date, so glad I stood my ground! Link to comment
loulou76 Posted June 20, 2015 Author Share Posted June 20, 2015 Think is what it was I was really attracted to him at first, gave me the flippy tummy feeling and excitement when he spoke to me, I felt a bit of chemistry and always felt happy after chatting to him... never really had that before.. maybe he was just a womaniser and knows how to play women... but now I know what his intentions were (just wanted to sleep with me) all the magic has disappeared.. Link to comment
Hermes Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Loulou: You did the right thing. Flippy tummy belongs in the area of food poisoning lol. And chemistry belongs in a lab. Those people sure know how to produce the "image", and they can read you like a book, as in knowing exactly what you want to hear. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.