jssteele89 Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 Most insane thing happened my ex agreed to get coffee tonight. If you haven't seen my other threads I was dead to this girl weeks ago. Keep in mind she is still seeing someone, I verified with her. I asked her why is she willing to meet me, and she said "she still cares about me, wants to see how I'm doing, and thinks about me, but she is happy where she is right now, and nothing can change that". I'm pretty astonished she would meet me considering she knows I want her back and her BF I would think would not approve. I mean If we meet and everything goes good, there could be a chance to date again, but at this point who really cares. This would prob be my last chance at meeting her, so If I don't there will be no chance at all. Any idea what's going through her head, and should I meet her? Thank you Link to comment
Clinton Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 A lot of dumpers still like their exes and want to see them do well. When they say they care, it's not love, it's concern for someone they used to have feelings for. Meeyt if you want to. Just don't have any expectations that this will lead to anything Link to comment
jssteele89 Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 I should mention, I actually dumped her. Tried to get her back HARDCORE 1-2 months ago, and she said she had already met someone else, and rejected me. Link to comment
jssteele89 Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 This girl knows I want her back and am still in LOVE with her. Trust me, I did the whole begging things. I'm not her friend, I want her back. She is aware. Which is why I'm astonished she would meet me. Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 It doesn't matter what she "knows". What she has said to you is that she is happy where she is. Maybe she just likes knowing you will jump when she snaps her fingers. Link to comment
jssteele89 Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 She is a pretty nice person. Not someone to mess with me or get back at me for things. So, what do you think then, would it be worth meeting, if she is willing? Could she be testing that waters with me at all Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 She is not testing the waters. She agreed to your request and will meet and tell you how happy she is. Why bother? Link to comment
Clinton Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 As I said, go if you want to, but don't put any hope into this. Link to comment
jssteele89 Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 I agree with you, but isn't that kind of selfish? Only agreeing to see someone you care about If they will reciprocate feelings back to you..Then it turns into all about you. The fact she has a BF and is still willing to see me, shows that she really cares about me. I understand where you're coming from. I don't know what good it would do to see that she is so much happier without me.. Link to comment
jssteele89 Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 Does anyone feel that me going and showing her that I'm doing okay would be more beneficial to not going.. Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 What you are doing or not doing is not going to influence her. She has told you she is happy and enjoying her relationship. Why would she return to someone who dumped her? Link to comment
jssteele89 Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 Well I really did quite a bit to show her I still cared for her, and just needed some space. If she saw me in person it could better my case, and if there were any feelings resonating in her, they would probably resurface with us talking face to face over coffee. Keep in mind this will be my only chance at meeting her, who knows If she would ever agree to it again. Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 You aren't going to listen to anyone who says "don't go". So go. Link to comment
Clinton Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 People have all sorts of motivation for seeing an ex. Nostalgia, to see how they're doing, to rub their face in their new life, the list goes on. You want to reconnect with her and hope this is an opening. No one can read her mind so go. You wont be satisfied if you don't. Just prepare for the fact that it likely won't go the way you want. Link to comment
jssteele89 Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 Agreed. I'll reiterate this girl is a nice person. I don't think she would meet up with me to say "my new bf does this, this, and this for me. He's so great" and rub it in my face. I would assume she is meeting up to see how I'm doing. Also, to meet up and her see me being mature about the whole thing doesn't look bad either. I haven't seen her in over 2 months and I've worked out and look very good. Not going to lie. She has already stated she is happy where she is, So I would have no expectations going in. Link to comment
Clinton Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 So I would have no expectations going in. Many of us have told ourselves this same lie But that's cool. Just know that no matter what, you'll be ok down the road. Best of luck Link to comment
jssteele89 Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 haha true. Yes, I'll be OK. This isn't my first breakup Been there done that. I think what surprises me the most is she KNOWS I have expectations and that I miss her, so why can't she be like every other ex and ignore my texts, won't meet me, and let me wallow in grief while I get over. Why, why? Why would you meet an ex bf who is still in love with you, if you're dating someone else. That's what is throwing me off the most. Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 Why are you asking why she should handle you differently? You DO have expectations. She knows, you know. Maybe she wants to kill the expectations and the contact, once and for all? Link to comment
jssteele89 Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 Why just not ignore me...why meet Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 Why just not ignore me...why meet Because you won't stop contacting her. Link to comment
Clinton Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 My ex fiancé, who I was with for 13 years, would have met up with me in a heartbeat. But not to continue the romance, she legitimately wanted to remain friends. Who knows your exes motivation. But if there is one thing experience has taught us is that it's rarely what you'd want. So go because let's face it, nothing anyone says will keep you from it. But try not and build this up. Odds are you will be disappointed Link to comment
jssteele89 Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 Damn. Now your convincing me not to meet. Link to comment
jssteele89 Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 Did you meet your ex fiance ever? or just never see her again Link to comment
Clinton Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 I still say go. You don't want to be left wondering "what if" But don't expect much from this. Link to comment
jssteele89 Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 Correct. I'm trying to avoid the WHAT IF, and regret not going in a couple weeks Link to comment
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