littlesmurf Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 We broke up two weeks ago and she kept sending me msgs how she loves me how it hurts her so much and how she can't live her life without me. Since, I basically started a NC with her, I decided to call her and to explain to her that she can't keep sending me msgs all the time and that I am not her friend. I am someone who wants ONLY relationship or nothing with her. In the meantime I sent her a very long mail in which I explained everything she did bad to me. When I called her I saw a that she was willing to get back with me and she at 1st said "I want only you!". Then I wanted her to tell my flaws that I made in relationship. I told her own flaws then, and she simply couldn't take them. I noticed a change in her voice and tone. The 1st thing she asked me when I finished was "you probably don't want to get back with me after all what I did to you". Then she said how she doesn't think that it's a good idea for us to go back atm. BUT she continued saying how she wants to spend her life with me, how she wants to have my children and she wants to get married to me. She just at this moment is not ready for a relationship. She said this "I know I am making a mistake but at this moment I feel like this is right choice. But in 10 days I might feel like killing myself because we are not together". So I asked her why she doesn't want a relationship since I am her "soulmate" and she wants marriage with me one day, and she simply couldn't answer me. She did't gave a single valid reason to it. She started crying so much. I never heard her crying that much in my life. I asked her if there is someone else, and she said that she can't even look at any guy and that there is no one else in her life and that I haven't change as her priority. She is sitting miserable whole day long because of our breakup. I am kinda confused with all this. She is an extremely depressed girl. She is right now going on a therapy. She has imho BPD and she self harms herself and has suicidal thoughts. She had a seriously messed up childhood, and a suicide of her father. I kinda see this as a self harming because she realized how much she hurt me and how much emotional damage she brought me. But I still love her and want her. Although I told her not to call me anymore and that I won't reply to her anymore. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 You nee to block her, then she can't contact you. Simple. She had a lot of problems that will not go away. Do you think you can have a future with this type of turmoil? Could you raise a family in this environment? You need to think long term. Link to comment
littlesmurf Posted April 4, 2015 Author Share Posted April 4, 2015 You nee to block her, then she can't contact you. Simple. She had a lot of problems that will not go away. Do you think you can have a future with this type of turmoil? Could you raise a family in this environment? You need to think long term. She sounded like she is not herself. And she changed a lot in past few months. That is the reason I broke up with her 2 weeks ago. I just don't understand why is she chasing me when in the end she didn't wanted relationship back and cried so much over it. To me it's like she is punishing herself for being a bad gf in past. The thing is I love her so much, but she has serious issues that I am not equipped to handle properly. And yes, I blocked her again. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 What she is doing is, stringing you along. Nothing more, nothing less. Link to comment
littlesmurf Posted April 4, 2015 Author Share Posted April 4, 2015 What she is doing is, stringing you along. Nothing more, nothing less. She has a really sick way of seeing things. She used to say in the start of the relationship how "You don't deserve a person like me, you deserve someone better". Also things like "this relationship will end one day because of me! I will do something bad and you will end it", I told her that will be a self-fulfilling prophecy and it was. Basically complete insecurity. She would say that even though we didn't had any issues at that time... Link to comment
Cadence44 Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 She wanted to see if she could still have you if she wanted that and you calling her confirmed it for her. You can be certain this is all it is by the way she changed her story once she knew you were an option for her. NC and block her. It's the only way. And get some therapy for yourself since it sounds like you're a codependent. Wanting to be with someone like her and "fix" her is not a healthy choice. Link to comment
littlesmurf Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 She wanted to see if she could still have you if she wanted that and you calling her confirmed it for her. You can be certain this is all it is by the way she changed her story once she knew you were an option for her. NC and block her. It's the only way. And get some therapy for yourself since it sounds like you're a codependent. Wanting to be with someone like her and "fix" her is not a healthy choice. I blocked her completely and she continued to write to me. She still calls me with pet names and sends me hearts. Basically like we are still in relationship. I didn't responded to her at all. To me she is a big fat liar. If you love someone you will want to be with them, end of story. I don't believe her love 0.000001%. She kept saying how she wants marriage and to start a family with me, and how I am her priority, lmao, those lies are just off the scale... manipulator And no, I am not codependent, I just thought she does maybe still love me, but I saw that was all lies... Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 how does someone contact you if you've blocked them completely? Link to comment
littlesmurf Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 She can send me an email. Idk why but when I block her on Outlook I still get her mails. I blocked her on all other social apps. She said how she is sending me everyday msgs on Viber even though she is blocked there. She asked me if I got all those msgs once I unblocked her and called her. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 She can send me an email. Idk why but when I block her on Outlook I still get her mails. I blocked her on all other social apps. She said how she is sending me everyday msgs on Viber even though she is blocked there. She asked me if I got all those msgs once I unblocked her and called her. All you can do is not respond. If there is no pay off she'll get tired eventually. Link to comment
littlesmurf Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 Yeah, I haven't responded to a single mail. I even told her not to write to me anymore and that I won't respond and she sent me yday a happy easter mail full of pet names and with a heart at the end of the msg.... ugh Link to comment
relevart Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 Here's two parts which I simply cannot wrap my head around -- In the meantime I sent her a very long mail in which I explained everything she did bad to me. confused with all this. Why would you pour salt on an open wound if you knew the following to be true? She is an extremely depressed girl. She is right now going on a therapy. She has imho BPD and she self harms herself and has suicidal thoughts. She had a seriously messed up childhood, and a suicide of her father. I kinda see this as a self harming because she realized how much she hurt me and how much emotional damage she brought me. But I still love her and want her. Although I told her not to call me anymore and that I won't reply to her anymore You need to stay away from her and have no contact before you make it worse for her. Link to comment
littlesmurf Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 Here's two parts which I simply cannot wrap my head around -- Why would you pour salt on an open wound if you knew the following to be true? You need to stay away from her and have no contact before you make it worse for her. I sent her that mail, about 3-5 days before I called her. It was sort of my closure letter to her. And it was only time I sent her a msg after breakup. Don't think that she is a victim here, she was treated by me like a Princess! She is someone who is manipulative imho. I now think that all those threats about suicide was to scare me to not leave her and so on.... Link to comment
relevart Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 Don't think that she is a victim here, she was treated by me like a Princess! She is someone who is manipulative imho. I now think that all those threats about suicide was to scare me to not leave her and so on.... So that makes it OK. All right, I got it. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I agree you do sound codependent. Oh how easy it is to 'diagnose' others but not to look closely at oneself. Stay silent - keep blocking her. Do your best to move on. Link to comment
littlesmurf Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 I just don't understand why the whole game of begging me and sending me all those msgs how she loves me and how she is dying without me. Then once I told her about her faults in relationship, a change in her tone and voice came. Like she got offended by it, and then she told me that "I want everything with you. Everything that we planned. I want our place, kids, marriage. But I think that we are still under emotions and that we should make a pause (she said like 1 month or something...though not sure if she mentioned time frame)". I asked her to tell me why does she feel like she feels and all she gave me as an answer (while crying), was "I don't know". I am saying again, IF you truly love someone you will want them to be a part of your life NO MATTER what. So now I lost ALL of my trust that I ever had for her, I don't believe her love for me and now she completely lost me as a lover, since she took a mind game instead of honesty. She basically ruined my life for last 4,5 months and I forgave her everything because I truly love her. She on other hand is playing a lowest game possible.... UGH I am pissed off now! Link to comment
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